The Homers Report has learned that undeclared presidential candidate H. Ross Perot will announce today that he will not seek and will not accept the presidency of the United States of America. Sources close to the Texas billionaire attribute his change of heart to the seemingly endless changes in attitude of American public opinion. "Ah rayalized that after the Homuhs lost theah gayme, thayat evyone, even mahself, has gawt suhtin fallacies that might becum puhblic."
Although we did lose 13 to 11 to Just Plain Lucky, the turnout was an all-time Homer record. Starting for the Homers was Raul at pitcher, Jeff at catcher, Matt at first, Laurie at second, Richard at short, Debbie at third, Lela at rover, Jesus in left, Alex R (Lela's fiance - hey, who asked whom?) in center, and Jason in right. In the second inning, Don J came in at pitcher, Norma (Raul's sister) at second, Michael at shortstop, Beth at third, Alma LL (Raul's friend) at rover, Alex LL (Alma's husband) in left, Don F in center, and Mark in right, I think. Juan showed up later to play some shortstop, and Junior showed up at the end of the game to lead a few cheers in the hopes of landing a scholarship at USC. Bill, the Puppy (Jasmine?), Brian, and Mikey (Norma's and Michael's kid) all provided moral support. After the game, Raul, Matt, Don & Don, Alex R, Lela, Junior, and Mark unsuccessfully tried to hit up our sponsors at Burger Continental for free beers, but they stayed for dinner anyway.
Homer highlights: Alex R, in his first at-bat of the year, hit a legitimate solo home run in the first inning, unlike Don and Richard, who hit little league homers later in the game. Norma made some nice plays at second to highlight our generally strong defense. In fact, we held them scoreless for the last three innings and almost made it back from a 13 to 5 deficit.
Our next game is June 2 on field H4, the one on the west side near the bathrooms, against the Gravity Fielders. "Y'all won't have H. Ross Perot to kick around no moh."
Just Plain Lucky 6 2 1 4 0 0 0 13 Homers 1 3 1 1 0 5 0 11