Jim G_______, softball player for Weird Science, was found murdered yesterday 
in various parts of Pasadena.  Police abandoned the case after an afternoon of 
investigation, citing a dearth of clues despite an abundance of suspects with 
motive.  Most of the body parts of the mentally challenged yet verbally 
profuse first baseman were recovered, each wrapped in 132-column, tractor-feed 
paper inscribed with epitaphs such as "A**HOLE".  The missing organs are 
rumored to be buried beneath the playground in right field of McDonald Park in 
Pasadena.  Upon hearing the news, Homer manager Raul Haro expressed his team's 
lukewarm sympathy and then reopened the possibility of future softball games 
between the Homers and Weird Science.<p>

Mr. G_______ will be remembered for his malodorous personal imprint on the 
last softball game he played, a 20 to 14 Homer loss to Weird Science.  
Starting for the Homers were Raul at pitcher, Gerry at catcher, Jason at 
first, Laurie at second, Richard at short, Don at third, Jesus in left, Lela 
in left-center, Alex in right-center, and Mark in right.  Kelly showed up a 
bit late for the game, and Jerri watched for a few innings, certainly 
motivated by the chance of getting her name in the Homers report.<p>

The Homers trailed 10 to 4 after 2 innings due to an ugly second inning in 
which Weird Science scored 8.  The Homers slowly came back, eventually tied 
the game at 14 after the top of the sixth, but gave up 6 in the bottom of that 
inning.  This was a fairly mediocre game on defense for the Homers, with Alex 
and Jason looking good, but Weird Science mostly hit the ball well though not 
terribly hard.  Offensively, Jason got his first home run of the year while 
Richard got two of his own.  Lela had her best hit of her Homer career, a 
double to right-center which she almost turned into a single due to a lack of 
experience at rounding first base instead of running through.  Gerry also 
hammered balls in at least three of his at-bats.<p>

The next Homer game is Wednesday, August 26 at the Rose Bowl, field H6, which 
is in the northeast corner.  This is the one without marked basepaths and with 
a slope downhill from home.  This game is a rematch with the Heavy Hitters, 
who made us all walk funny by invoking (creating) an 
out-an-inning-after-the-third-inning rule for having only two women.  What 
they did to us is what Cal will do to USC in football on October 17 at the 
Coliseum.  Scott, Raul, Jason, Don, Jeff, Laurie, Richard, and Ken Miller all 
plan to go.  If you want to go, tell Scott or Richard before August 31, which 
is when the tickets go on sale for $11 through JPL.

<pre>
Homers          4  0  4  1  3  2  0    14
Weird Science   2  8  2  2  0  6  x    20
</pre>