With all the suspense of a political party convention, all the subplots of the M. Homer races, all the subtlety of "Independence Day", the Homers took the field in the 1996 season finale looking to avenge a week 5 loss to the Zephyrs. Unfortunately, the Homers started slowly and trailed after the first inning in which the defense played poorly. Sensing the tension on H3 and the need for inspiration, assistant manager Jeff Osman grabbed the P.A. system and spoke: "Friends, Homers, JPLers, rend me no tears. We have come not to praise the Zephyrs but to bury them," and with that they did, 31 to 16.
Homers 3 9 7 7 5 0 31
Zephyrs 4 4 1 5 0 2 16
The story of attendance lies not with the players but with the fans. The
Hammers, Brian/Lisa/Michael/Adam, showed up, as did former Homer Susie Horn,
injured Homer Mary Wittman, current Homer Barbara Lam, and Homer wannabes
Brian and Aaron. Nevertheless, the lineup:
Sue C 2B C 2B 2B -
Jeff 1B OF OF OF 1B -
Scott OF SS P 1B - P
Beth 2B OF 2B C - 3B
Richard SS OF SS - P OF
Ron OF P OF - OF C
Martha OF C - OF C 2B
Robb P 1B - P SS SS
Kevin OF - OF OF OF OF
Holly 3B - 3B 3B 3B 1B
Tim - OF OF SS OF OF
David - 3B 1B OF OF OF
Afterwards, Brian, David, Sue, Ron, Scott, Robb, Jeff, Mary, Tim, Holly,
Kevin, Barbara, Aaron and Richard celebrated the closing of Homers VI at
Burger Continental, thereby putting the exclamation point on Sue's dominance
of M. Homer (food), just as Scott and Ron dominated M. Homer (body) and
M. Homer (soul).
The last game of the season was clearly the Homers' best game offensively. The Homers pounded out 8 - count 'em - 8 home runs, most of which went over the defense rather than through or under. Two of the dingers were grand slams, one by Scott in the second to give the Homers their first comfortable lead of the day, the other by Holly in the fourth to toast a very foolish left fielder who played at the cones. Scott also hit a two-run home run in the third to put the Homers over the mercy rule, Kevin hit a two-run job early in the second to give the Homers their first lead, Tim hit a solo following Holly's grand salami, and Richard nailed three in his first three at-bats. The other offensive star of the day was Martha, who found her left-field stroke to go 4 for 4, scoring every time.
Defensive play of the day goes to Tim in the fifth innning. With the Homers protecting a 17-run lead, Richard came in to pitch and served up a meatball, extra sauce, to the first batter, who ripped a ball over right-center. Tim, moving over from left center took the relay and fired the ball right to home plate, half a foot on top of the bag, where Richard applied the low tag to the surprised batter/runner. Runner-up goes to Beth at 3B in the last inning. who cleanly fielded a hot smash and forced a runner at second for the first out and gathered in a pop-up for the second.
That's it for the season. Ron and Sue are hosting a barbecue on Labor Day Sunday at 1:00 pm at their place, 1618 E Orange Grove between Hill and Allen. There's a possible Homer football game/barbecue in a few weekends and probably a Homer Christmas special later. Otherwise, Homer VII begins in April '97.