22 Apr 1998: HOMERS 21, Wild Turkeys 11

Near the end of last season, Homer management began thinking about off-season projects for the entire team to keep its great chemistry from slipping away. Nothing seemed really suitable until Robb, participating in last September's Rosarita to Ensenada bike ride, ran across James Cameron, who was just a few scenes away from finishing his movie. During brief but intense negotiations, Homer/Titanic synergy hinged on the inclusion of the following bit roles:

Rich: poor Scandinavian guy in steerage. He knocks down a locked gate when the panic begins.
Annette: rich woman who insists on bringing her cat onto a lifeboat.
Joe and Lisa: flying bodies.
Jeff: security officer. When Leo and Kate are flying, Jeff shouts, "Hey, you, get down from there!"
Scott and Karen: rich couple at dinner table. When Leo talks about loving to take life one day at a time and not knowing where he'll be sleeping the next night, Scott rolls his eyes while Karen makes the motion of sticking her finger down her throat.
Tim: security officer. When a slow-moving woman is a step away from boarding a lifeboat, Tim guns her down.
Richard: the guy with the snarl in Molly Brown's lifeboat. When Molly pleads to go back for their husbands dying in the water, Richard throws her in.

But in the end Cameron proved unwillingly to meet the Homers' salary demands, leaving the Homers completely focused on softball. Fresh and ready for the new season, the Homers opened with a dominating 21 to 11 victory over the Wild Turkeys. Richard nearly walked the plank by agreeing to a modified mercy rule where the team ahead by 10 took an out for every run scored in an inning rather than one automatic out. The rule probably kept the game closer than it would have been, but a secondary effect was that the team batting average was over .800.

               1  2  3  4  5  6
Wild Turkeys   2  0  1  2  6  0    11
HOMERS        12  3  3  1  2  x    21

Defensively,

    Scott     SS OF  C  P 1B 3B
    Richard    P SS  P OF OF SS
    Annette   OF 3B 2B OF OF OF
    Robb      3B 1B SS  C  P  x
    Ron       OF  P 3B OF  x  P
    Lisa      2B OF OF 2B 2B OF
    Joe        C OF OF  x  C OF
    Tony      1B  C  x 1B SS 1B
    Tim       OF  x 1B SS 3B OF
    Sheila    OF 2B OF OF OF 2B
    David      x OF OF 3B OF  C

Dinner folk at Crown City: Lisa, Annette, Tim, Scott, Sue, Ron, Robb, Richard

Homer for a day was Scott, who set up the field, nailed three home runs, then demanded that the game end after six innings. Richard and Tim also got on the M. Homer (soul) scoreboard. Defensively, Sheila made the best play of the day in the second inning by snagging a sinking line drive at second base.

Next week's game is Monday, April 22, against Planet X, who appear to be a very good team. Tim's already a confirmed no-show, so if you're a regular, let Jeff or me know if you won't be there.