Before their game against the Deep Space Cadets, the Old Guard of the Homers met to ponder whether the two teams' professional, philosophical, and personal ties should affect the team's play. With no compromise in sight between Homer hardliners and Homer moderates, the fogeys then turned to a higher source, one regarded on the level of the Talmud or the Hadith.
[Homer accompanies Apu on an epic journey ending at a mountaintop
in India; they meet a guru with flowing white hair and beard]
APU: He is the benevoloent, enlightened president and CEO of
Kwik-E-Mart. He is the one I must ask.
GURU: Approach, my sons. You may ask me three questions.
APU: That's great, because all I need is one.
HOMER: Are you really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?
GURU: Yes.
HOMER: Really?
GURU: Yes.
HOMER: You?
GURU: Yes. I hope this has been enlightening for you.
APU: But I must...
GURU: Thank you. Come again.
APU: But...
GURU: Thank you. Come again.
Thus encouraged, the hardliners never let up; with one inning about to
end due to a double-mercy-rule, one even completed a home run by forcing
a bad throw. The Cadets were duly stomped, 25 to 9.
Homers 1 3 3 1 7 0 10 25
Deep Space Cadets 2 0 0 0 1 0 6 9
Defensively,
Lisa 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B OF
Scott OF OF OF OF OF OF OF
Jeff C C 1B 3B C 1B -
Robb P 3B C 1B P - C
Annette 3B OF 3B OF OF OF OF
Ron OF P OF OF - P OF
Tim SS OF SS - SS OF 3B
Rich 1B 1B - C 1B C 1B
Sheila OF OF OF OF OF 3B 2B
Richard OF - OF P OF OF SS
Tony - SS P SS 3B SS P
Sue ---field manager----
Dinner afterward was at Crown City - Tim, Annette, Jeff, Lisa, Ron, Sue,
Robb, Scott, and Richard, where Robb and Scott picked canine-based
parasites from their beers.
The Homers smacked 5 home runs. Scott opened the scoring with a solo monster in the first. Tim hit a 3-run homer in the fifth, followed four batters latter by a 2-run homer from Tony, who later also hit a grand slam. Ron completed the scoring with a 3-run dinger in the 7th. The other Homer hero with the stick was Sheila, who hit safely all four times she batted. The defensive player of the day was Annette, who made a solid catch in right field in the fifth and then another in right-center in the sixth.
Next week's game is the Tim Ohm farewell/bbq/Homer-Toad lovefest on Tuesday, June 30, field H2. Friends and family welcome. No cover.