Despite the midseason slump, this was a great year for the Homers. The team's record dropped to 11 wins and 4 losses, but winning 73% is still very impressive, especially with the season-ending victory over the previously unbeaten Toads. To the awards:
M. Homer (body): Scott Morgan did not quite match his monster year of 1998, but he still dedicated himself enough to the team to recapture this title. In fact, if not for a concerted effort by four of his teammates, Scott would have finished in the money for every Homer game.
M. Homer (soul): With a strong midseason surge, Tony Ganino ran away with this award, finishing the year with 50% more home runs than the next Homer. In this department, Tony has been the model of consistency, having hit 13, 15, and 15 home runs in his three years on the team. His other claim to being The Man on the Homers was his being on the bench during the disastrous 3rd inning against the IR Sox when the Homers gave up an amazing 15 runs.
M. Homer (food): 15 games, 15 dinners. Both Scott Morgan and Kim Steadman were perfect in their quest for the perfect beer.
The TQM/ISO/FBC Award: With Sue's assumption of most of the lineup-making duties, Jeff Osman saved himself from pointy-haired-bossdom by being the motivating force of the democratization of writing Homers Reports. 12 different Homers wrote reports this year with no one writing more than two. Somehow, Tony and Annette managed to escape Jeff's notice, though many did not mind since there are only so many ways to describe barking, even among eskimos.
Best Original Screenplay: Homer emeritus Amy Holst once again judged this year's Homer Reports. To paraphrase her quoting Jimbo Jones, "I haven't been moved like this since The Joy Luck Club. The winner is Robb Warren, for: I Know My Name Is Mary." Honorable mention goes to Martha Berg for her report on the non-game with the Cadets.
Rookie of the Year: Kim Steadman had the best rookie year ever for a Homer. Kim did not miss either a game or a dinner, plus she even beat Scott to the field a few times during the year. Had the Queen Worm Award existed, it would have been hers.
The Kirk Gibson Award: Well, Rich Benesh's grand slam against the Toads didn't win the game, but it brought the Homers back to life in the season's climactic game against the Toads, thus making it the best hit of the year.
The Mo Vaughn Award: Since the inception of the three M. Homer awards, Ron Baalke has won:
1995 - body 1996 - soul 1997 - food 1998 - soul & foodHe also would have won the body award in 1993 and 1994 had it existed. However, 1999 turned out to be a down year for Ron, as he took a mid-season vacation and began eschewing the little league home run. In fact, Ron and Richard, who combined for 35 homers in 1998, hit only 16 in 1999.
The John Schuerholz Award: The Atlanta Braves' GM has nothing on Richard Chen, who assembled a team with remarkable consistency. Combined, the top 13 Homers attended 91.9% of the regular and irregular season games. Yet there was no overkill, as only once did the batting order exceed 14 players. The team's corps of women, Sheila, Annette, and Kim, was entirely present for nine games and two-thirds present for the other six. Finally, Richard picked up Steve off the B League free-agent list for the Homers' stretch drive.
The Mary McGregor Award: While Richard left four games early for teams in other leagues, Karen Chan was the only player to place another C league team above the Homers. Karen also managed to avoid writing a Homer report, though her doing everything for the Bruisers merited a waiver.
The Rick Ankiel Award: Actually, Steve Broberg will probably have a better career with the Homers than Ankiel will with the St. Louis Cardinals. Steve debuted spectacularly for the Homers, getting three home runs against the Deep Space Cadets; in fact, he has yet to lose a game as a Homer. Steve also showed trememndous judgement in choosing the Sharks over the Toads for fall softball.
The Raul Mondesi Award: In an unexpected interview with a Homers Report writer during the team's slump, Joe Jacob went off: "I told my agent to get me <bleep> out of here as soon as possible. <bleep> Chen and <bleep> Osman - I can play; they can't pin the whole season on me." Actually, Joe is on the trading block for 1) questioning why we need a report after each game, and 2) for having the game of his life while substituting for the Bruisers.
Most Improved: Perhaps due to the time she spent in batting cages, Annette Nasif seemingly got two or three hits every game as she usually hit the ball squarely and rarely popped out. Furthermore, Annette mastered non-fundamental, high-risk Homer defense; her getting burned a few times was far more than offset by her highlight-reel catches.
Raw Talent: In his first full year on lab as well as en Homers, Daniel Limonadi's natural athleticism shone through as he hit a good number of home runs early in the season, probably all of which were legitimate. Suggestions for further improvements:
The Trailblazer: Sheila Ganino wins this award not for being the first player to skip games for homeowners' association meetings, nor for being the most likely Homer woman to play 1B next. Instead, Sheila was the star of the first Homer mpeg, shot by Karen. In honor of her digitally captured hustle and speed, the next two-seat sports car bought by any Homer shall be named "Sheilero".
Most Inspiring: Mary Wittman provided the biggest inspiration of the year; unfortunately, the team she inspired was the IR Sox, a truly terrible team in 1999 that put together one good week thanks to Mary's motivational techniques. However, the C League universe returned to normalcy in the rematch, as the IR Sox forfeited.
The Fan Appreciation Award: For the first time since the team's inception, there were no Homer kids at any game during the year. Scott Steadman did his utmost to keep the flame alive for Bryan, Aaron, Samantha, Isabelle, Hannah, Taylor, Holly, Allen, Greg, Bill, Josh, Phillip, Raymond, Brian, and Laura. While the dog streak thrives, local bookies have made "other" the odds-on favorite to revive the kid streak.
The Lisa Simpson Award: Despite being ever so smart as field manager and ever so useful as a last-second replacement, Sue Kientz was overlooked by perhaps one-quarter of the Homer Report writers. Sue magnanimously forgave such offenses, which in fact made her life easier when determining who sat out in subsequent games.
# * 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 $ i ii 1 1 Scott Morgan 2 1 2 1 1 1 2 1 1 5 3 1 3 3 3 1 1 1 2 2 Jeff Osman 4 5 4 5 4 4 4 3 3 4 4 4 1 4 1 1 1 2 3 3 Kim Steadman 2 2 3 2 2 3 1 5 7 1 1 2 2 1 4 10 1 4 4 Robb Warren 7 10 9 4 3 9 3 6 4 6 5 4 5 2 7 1 7 5 5 Ron Baalke 9 5 6 6 5 5 9 5 7 9 7 6 6 6 8 11 11 6 6 Sue Kientz 9 5 6 6 5 5 9 5 7 9 8 6 6 6 8 11 11 7 7 Richard Chen 5 3 7 9 8 7 7 2 13 6 6 5 9 9 1 7 3 8 8 Daniel Limonadi 11 8 10 11 9 12 11 12 9 11 12 12 12 14 5 1 8 9 9 Tony Ganino 5 6 7 5 7 10 7 12 7 10 10 8 9 10 8 3 10 10 Joe Jacob 8 7 10 12 11 9 11 11 10 11 9 10 13 4 10 9 11 11 Annette Nasif 11 8 10 11 11 12 8 12 9 11 12 11 11 5 1 10 12 12 Rich Benesh 11 12 10 2 12 2 8 9 S 8 2 5 13 13 13 13 13 Sheila Ganino 13 12 13 13 14 14 12 7 9 14 15 10 8 3 14 14 Karen Chan 1 4 1 S 4 3 3 8 14 6 15 15 Mary Wittman 14 7 S 14 14 14 15 16 14 16 16 Scott Steadman S S 2 S S 2 1 S S 17 17 Steve Broberg 11 11 13 12 18 18 Charlie Kaczinski S 13 S 19 19 Evora Simien 8 15 20 20 Earl Higa S 15 21 21 Patrick Bergmann 5 22 22 Aimee Whalen 10 23 23 Kathleen Crean 13 24 24 Amy Holst S 25 25 Mrs. Ganino the elder S# current ranking
The algorithm to determine the winner:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 sum
Tony Ganino 2 1 2 1 2 1 1 1 1 2 1 15
Richard Chen 1 1 1 1 2 1 2 1 10
Daniel Limonadi 1 1 1 1 2 1 7
Rich Benesh 1 2 1 1 1 1 7
Scott Morgan 1 1 2 1 1 1 7
Ron Baalke 2 1 1 1 1 6
Steve Broberg 3 1 4
Robb Warren 1 1 2
Joe Jacob 1 1 2
Jeff Osman 1 1
# * 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 1 1 Scott Morgan + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 1 1 Kim Steadman + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 3 3 Ron Baalke + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 3 3 Sue Kientz + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 5 5 Jeff Osman + + + + - + + + + + + + + + + 6 5 Robb Warren + + + + + + + + - + + + + - 7 7 Scott Steadman + + + + + + + + 8 8 Karen Chan + + + - + + + + 9 9 Joe Jacob - - - + + - + + - - + + + 10 10 Richard Chen - - - - + + + - - - + + - + 11 12 Rich Benesh + - - - - + + - - - + + 12 13 Steve Broberg + + + + 13 11 Mary Wittman + + + - - - + - 14 14 Charlie Kaczinski + + + 15 15 Annette Nasif - + - - - - - + - - - - - 16 16 Kathleen Crean + 16 16 Earl Higa + 16 16 Amy Holst + 16 16 Patrick Bergmann + 20 20 Sheila Ganino - - - - - + - - - - - 21 21 Tony Ganino - - - - - - + - - - - - - 22 22 Daniel Limonadi - - - - - - - + - - - - - - 23 23 Evora Simien - 23 23 Aimee Whalen -# current ranking
June 17, 1999: (front) Daniel Limonadi, Annette Nasif,
Jeff Osman, Sue Kientz, Sheila Ganino & Kona.
(standing) Richard Chen, Kim Steadman, Robb Warren, Tony Ganino,
Karen Chan, Scott Morgan, Joe Jacob, Rich Benesh.
(missing) Ron Baalke, Mary Wittman
March 13, 1999: (front) Daniel Limonadi, Annette Nasif,
Sue Kientz, Karen Chan, Joe Jacob, Kim Steadman, Scott Steadman.
(standing) Robb Warren, Mary Wittman, Ron Baalke, Tony Ganino,
Richard Chen, Jeff Osman, Scott Morgan, Rich Benesh.
1. HOMERS 23 O-Zone 17
2. Wild Turkeys 8 HOMERS 22
3. Cinco Equis 17 HOMERS 25
4. HOMERS 31 Bruisers 17
5. Gravity Fielders 12 HOMERS 20
6. Paper Tigers 5 HOMERS 18
7. Homers 17 IR SOX 20
8. Homers 6 VOODOO TOAD FURY 11
8.5 Deep Space Cadets v Homers
9. HOMERS 17 Crawdads 9
10. LA RADARS 25 Homers 19
11. Homers 19 ECLECTIC ECCENTRICS 23
12. Deep Space Cadets 13 HOMERS 23
ii. IR Sox (ff) HOMERS
13. HOMERS 21 Deep Space Cadets 13
14. HOMERS 21 LA Radars 9
15. Voodoo Toad Fury 22 HOMERS 23
As part of this reporter's never-ending quest to get the latest in Homer news and information for our readers, I traveled deep into the bowels of Homerdom, to the lair of the Almighty Simpson, the greatest Homer of them all! The occasion was the annual presentation of the season's bounty to the Almighty by Manager Jeff, and this season's plentiful bounty included fried Crawdads, bashed Bruisers, toothless Tigers, and wrecked Radars. But, as the Almighty Simpson looked upon this veritable feast, he scowled, and then asked Manager Jeff, "Where is that tastiest of delicacies, squashed Voodoo Toad? And being as there was no "D'OH!" anywhere in that sentence, Jeff could see that all was not well in Homerdom, and that this was simply not an acceptable state of affairs.
And so Manager Jeff set out to correct this affront to the Almighty Simpson, and sought out the Homer warriors for the monumental battle to come. Fortunately, the annual Homer Bash was last weekend, and Jeff was able to find many of the Homer warriors hung-over and butchering the words to the Homer Drinking Song at Ron and Sue's. But Manager Jeff went much farther, scouring the bushes for all the Homer warriors, including the disabled and even a defected Bruiser, to present Field Manager Sue with the following lineup:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Jeff C 1B - C OF 1B -
Robb 3B SS - SS SS P -
Scott M. OF OF OF - - C -
Kim 2B - - 2B - OF -
Rich 2B - 1B 3B 1B - 1B
Ron OF OF - OF P - 3B
Richard OF - OF OF OF - OF
Karen P 2B P - 2B 2B -
Tony SS - SS P - SS SS
Steve - P 3B 1B - OF P
Joe - C OF - C OF C
Annette OF OF 2B - 3B - OF
Daniel - OF C - OF OF OF
Sheila - 3B OF OF - 3B OF
Mary - - - OF OF - 2B
Sue <------Field Manager----->
Scott S. provided the Homers rooting section on the sidelines and, of
course, a critical battle such as this could not be entered without the
Homers beloved mascots, Kona and Gyro, on the sidelines!
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Toads 7 0 0 3 3 8 1 22
Homers 5 4 3 0 8 3 x 23
Things looked bad for the Homers at the outset, as the Voodoo Toads
attacked with a fury, putting up 7 runs in the first inning. But, apparently
the Almighty Simpson's threat to send Bart to spend a year at the home of
each Homer was more than sufficient to inspire the Homer offense, as every
Homer got at least one hit, and all but two scored runs. The Homers roared
back with 5 runs in the first, provided by the only two Homer round-trippers,
Rich's grand slam (no, he didn't get a dose of Kona power until after the
slam!), and Richard's solo shot. (Funny, but for the 2nd year in a row, the
last homer of the season was hit by someone named Richard, HMMM!)
Offensive stars of the contest included Richard and Steve, who both went 3 for 3, and Annette, Kim, Karen, and Sheila who had 2 hits apiece for the ladies. Rich added a two-run triple to his slam to drive in 6 of the Homer runs. Defensively, the play of the game was Scott M.'s swipe tag from behind of a Toad at the plate to prevent a run, with Annette snagging a couple of pop-ups in her inning at 3rd base, and Tony playing a good game at shortstop. Sue's skillful handling of the defensive lineup, and shutout innings from Steve and Karen in the 2nd and 3rd innings allowed the Homers to take the lead after a bad start, and Steve recorded his first homer save with a little help from Rich, who, atoning for his inning-ending doubleplay grounder to end the 6th inning, actually managed to exceed his usual 1 inch vertical leap to snag a high throw from Tony to end the battle.
The post-game celebration at Crown City was attended by all Homers not tending to team mascots or Dr. Pepper addicts, and included Jeff, Scott M., Kim, Scott S., Ron, Sue, Richard, Karen, Steve, and Joe, with even Rich making a cameo appearance at the Brewery.
Following dinner, Jeff presented the Almighty Simpson with the squashed Toads, with Homer's only comment being "D'OH!" This reporter is pleased to report that all is well in Homerdom at the verge of the new millenium!
For the Homer Report,
Rich (Kona Power addict!)
The Homers redeemed themselves from an earlier loss to the L.A. Radars this season, winning with a score of 21 - 9. It was a rare occasion too, in that pretty much the entire team was present! The Homers started off strong, and the mercy rule was enforced early. Could the strong hitting by the Homers possibly be attributed to Richards pitching?! Being the dedicated player he is ( and not because he had to leave early and wanted to get in as much playing time as possible), Richard helped out a Radar team that didnt have quite enough players, and pitched against his own team. Steve and Tony were the only Homers home runs of the game, but solid hitting abounded. Defensively, the play of the game went to Steve for catching Kona before she ran out on the field to break up Tonys home run. ( But actually defensive player of the game goes to Tony for hitting a solid three run blast - as we always say, the best defense is a good offense - hey! get out of herea;ljkasdl;fgj;laksdjf;lkasj..) Sorry about that, I had to pull Tony off the keyboard.
Homer 1 2 3 4 5 6 Kim 2b 2b 2b - 2b 2b Rich 1B 1B - 1b 3b 3b Scott of of - of of of Jeff c - 1b c 1b c Annette of 3b - of of of Robb 3b ss - p ss 1b Ron p - of 3b p ss Tony ss - ss ss - p Sheila of - of of of - Richard of of p - - - Joe - c of of - - Daniel - of c - c of Mary - of of 2b - of Steve - p 3b - of - Sue <----- field manager ----->Dinner - who knows, we had to bring the mutt home.
(editor's note: Scott, Kim, Ron, Sue, Jeff, Robb, Joe, Mary, Rich, and Steve at Round Table.
Our next and final game is next Thursday, August 26, against the Voodoo Toad Fury. Please let Richard or Jeff know if you won't be there.)
Because of a forfeit last week and due to a quirk in the scheduling, the HOMERS played the same opponent for the second consecutive game. And for the second consecutive time, the HOMERS beat the Deep Space Cadets, this time by a score of 21-13. The HOMERS have now won 3 games in a row and improve their season record to 10-4.
Defensive Line-up:
Jeff c 1b c - 1b c - Mary - of of of of of of Scott of of - of of ss - Robb ss ss - of ss - p Richard p of - p of - ss Sue 2b <---Field Manager----> Ron 3b - p 3b of - 3b Rich 1b - 3b 1b - 1b c Joe of - of c - of of Annette of 3b of of 3b of of Tony - p ss ss - p of Steve - of 1b - p 3b 1b Daniel - c of - c of - Kim of 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b 2bThe DOH! Player of the Week Award goes to Steve. Every time Steve has come to the plate this year, the bases has been empty for him. DOH!
The HOMERS scored 11 runs in the first inning and never looked back. Tony led the way offensively with a pair of 3-run home runs. Home runs were also hit by Scott and Robb. Tony has now homered in 8 straight games (the team record is 10), and with 14 home runs so far, has virtually clinched the homer title for this year. Team leaders in home runs for the year and career:
1999 Career
Tony Ganino 14 Richard Chen 101+
Richard Chen 9 Ron Baalke 78+
Daniel Limonadi 7* Scott Morgan 42+
Scott Morgan 7 Tony Ganino 42+
Ron Baalke 6 Tim Ohm 33
Rich Benish 6 Don Calkins 31
Steve Broberg 3* Jesus Martinez 22
Joe Jacob 2* Rich Benish 19+
Robb Warren 2* David Lim 7
Jeff Osman 1* Daniel Limonadi 7+
Holly Schmidt 7
Total 57 Juan Urista 7
* = Career Best + = Active Player
Nearly everyone got at least one base hit. Other notable contributers
include Scott, Robb, Joe, Annette and Daniel who were all perfect
at the plate by going 3 for 3. "I want base runners" Steve also had a triple.
AB R H RBI
Jeff 3 1 1 0
Mary 3 0 0 0
Scott 3 3 3 1
Robb 3 3 3 3
Richard 3 2 2 1
Sue 3 0 1 2
Ron 3 2 2 3
Rich 3 1 2 2
Joe 3 2 3 0
Annette 3 2 3 1
Tony 3 2 2 6
Steve 3 2 2 0
Daniel 3 0 3 2
Kim 3 1 1 0
Totals 42 21 28 21
HOMERS 11 0 4 0 0 2 4 21
DSC 0 0 1 0 5 0 7 13
LOB - 6. 2B - Ron 2, Richard, Joe, Steve. 3B - Steve.
HR - Tony 2 (14), Scott (7), Robb (2).
IP R ERA
Richard 2 0 0.00
Tony 2 0 0.00
Ron 1 1 7.00
Steve 1 5 35.00
Robb 1 7 49.00
Defensively, there were a number of hard line drives that were snagged.
There was one double play: Jim Shell was on third and the batter
grounded to the pitcher (Ron), who threw the runner out at first (Steve).
Jim Shell tried to score on the play, but was gunned down by Steve which
resulted in a collision at the plate with Jeff holding on to the ball.
Richard and Tony pitched two scoreless innings apiece.
After the game the HOMERS dinner at Crown City Brewery was attended by Steve, Kim Richard, Robb, Scott, Joe, Jeff, Sue and Ron.
Next week's game is on Tuesday, August 17 on H2 versus the LA Radars, who beat us earlier this year. As usual let Richard or Jeff know if you can't make it.
There will be HOMERS party at Ron & Sue's house on Saturday, August 21. Details will be sent in a separate email.
IR Sox manager Dennis Wittman called at 10:00 on game day to announce his team's forfeit. The Homers practiced anyway and had a spectacular turnout, especially considering that only three games are left in the season. Taking part in the fielding and batting practice were Scott, Jeff, Richard, Tony, Sheila, Karen, Robb, Daniel, Joe, Annette, Ron, Sue, and Rich. The fielding portion was non-trivial as Richard nailed Karen with a batted ball and Jeff with a thrown ball. Also, Mrs. Ganino was the first spectator at a practice in memory. Jeff, Scott, Karen, Ron, Sue, Robb, Rich, and Richard went to dinner afterwards at Robin's.
Our game next week is on Thursday against the Deep Space Cadets. If you're a regular, please let Richard or Jeff know if you won't be there.
With the deadline for non-waiver trades approaching, the Homers faced the quandary of every contending but not dominating team: pick up some new players for a little spark, or stay the course with the current players. To which the Homer General Manager replied, "BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Patrick Bergmann and Steve Broberg debuted admirably, greatly helping the Homers in a 23 to 13 victory over the Deep Space Cadets. Lest the new boys think that was the status quo, here are ten reasons why this was not a typical Homers game:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Deep Space Cadets 0 6 1 0 5 1 0 13
Homers 4 5 6 6 2 0 x 23
Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B OF
Scott OF OF OF OF OF OF 1B
Jeff 1B C 1B C 1B C OF
Patrick C OF C OF C OF OF
Karen P 3B 3B P 3B 3B 3B
Richard OF SS OF OF OF SS P
Ron 3B P SS 3B P OF C
Tony SS OF P SS SS P OF
Sheila OF OF OF OF OF OF 2B
Steve OF 1B OF 1B OF 1B SS
Sue -fieldMgr- - - - -
Dinner was at Domenico's in Old Town, where Karen, Jeff, Kim, Steve, Scott,
Ron, Sue, Patrick, and Richard took 2 of 3 trivia contests from the Cadets.
Highlights: Patrick did well in his debut, but Steve came out in a grand manner, hitting three home runs, all solo. Richard got to hit with runners on base every time and ended up with two homers and seven rbis. Scott and Tony also bashed one each, pushing the team to match its season-high in homers. However, everyone hit the ball solidly in a thorough team effort.
Defensively, the play of the day was shared by Jeff and Kim. In the third inning with a runner on first, Jeff at 1B caught a slightly twisting foul ball, then beat the baserunner back to the bag for a double play. In the second inning with the bases loaded and the Cadets' having gone ahead, Kim at 2B took a late throw from Richard at SS and tagged out the runner from first, who had barely overrun second base.
Our next game is Wednesday, August 4, versus the IR Sox, who beat us earlier this season after calling in their ringer. Well, we've got our own now, so bring 'em on. All remaining games will be on field H2. Let Jeff or Richard know if you're a regular and won't be there.
Oh, the agony of defeat! The Homers' (could it be fourth?) loss came at the hands of the Eclectic Eccentrics, with a final score of 23 - 19. How did this happen? Was it because Richard, Tony and Joe left early? That Rich was on injured reserved? That Kona and Gyro were finally reunited? A muddy outfield? The 30th anniversary of the moon landing? I'll let you draw your own conclusions....
There were some bright spots during the game. Scott M., Richard, Tony, and Daniel all had home runs. Tony made a nice double play, when we really needed some outs. Scott M., Charlie (thanks for helping out!), Robb, and Jeff all had some solid hits. We started off strong, but just couldn't keep it going.
Dinner was at Crown City, featuring Charlie and his backup band of Jeff, Kim, Scott S, Scott M, Robb, Ron, Sue.
Next week our game is Wednesday against the Deep Space Cadets. Let Richard or Jeff know if you won't be there.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Homers 8 2 2 1 1 2 3 19
Eclectic Eccentrics 1 9 0 5 3 5 x 23
Scott S. C C - C C C
Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Scott M. OF OF OF OF OF OF
Jeff 1B - - 1B 1B OF
Robb OF - OF P SS SS
Sheila 3B OF 3B 3B 3B 3B
Richard OF P - - - -
Tony SS SS SS SS - -
Ron P - P OF P P
Sue dh dh dh dh dh dh
Joe - OF C OF - -
Daniel - OF OF - OF OF
Charlie - 1B 1B - OF 1B
Mary OF 3B OF OF OF OF
Oh the humanity!
Those words describe the Homers' game this week with the LA Raiders. Last night the Raiders defeated the Homers by a score of 25 - 19. Hopefully we will all quickly forget the defensive fiasco that occurred on this sad day. One consolation is that the Raiders only had two women and were not asked to take an out in place of their missing third woman during the game. Another note: Richard left after the fourth inning, I guess he had seen enough.
There were a few (and I do mean few) bright moments on defense that included a great catch in the outfield by Annette and several by Richard.
Offensively the Homers did just fine with 4 home runs (Scott M. 2, Ron 1, Rich 1). Most Homers got on base at least once during the game. The Homers bats did let them down toward the end of the game with only 1 run scored in the final 3 innings.
Dinner was at Crown City with the following Homers drinking away their sorrows: Karen, Ron, Sue, Jeff, Robb, Scott S., Scott M, and Kim.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Scott S OF OF OF - OF C -
Jeff C 1B 1B - C 1B OF
Scott M OF OF - 3B OF OF OF
Karen P 3B P P 3B P 3B
Robb SS SS - SS SS SS SS
Ron OF - SS OF P 3B P
Rich 1B - C 1B 1B - 1B
Annette 3B OF OF OF OF OF OF
Joe - C OF C OF OF C
Daniel - OF 3B OF - OF OF
Richard OF P OF OF - - -
Sue <-----FIELD MANAGER------>
LA Radars 2 3 3 5 6 6 0 25
Homers 2 6 2 8 0 1 0 19
Show me the way to write the HOMERS' report
I'm tired and I wanna go to bed
I had a half of pitcher w/Scott Morgan last night
And it went right to my head
Whenever we may play
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,
If you don't do it soon, you'll get an email that says,
"Where the hell is the HOMERS' report??!"
The HOMERS' two-game losing streak has SNAPPED! The HOMERS handled the
Crawdads just like a bunch of seasoned Cajuns last night, effectively
pinchin' their tails and, um, doing something very nasty w/their heads,
with a final score of 17-9.
The line score:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
HOMERs 5 3 0 1 5 3 0 17
Crawdads 2 0 1 2 0 3 1 9
The players:
Scott OF OF OF OF OF - OF Richard OF OF --left us for another game!-- Jeff C 1B C 1B - 1B C Kim 2B 2B - 2B 2B 2B - Robb SS P P - SS SS - Ron P 3B - SS P OF P Rich 1B - 1B 3B 1B 3B 1B Annette 3B OF OF OF - OF 3B Daniel OF - 2B C OF C OF Joe - C OF OF C OF OF Tony - SS SS P 3B P SS Sheila OF OF 3B - OF OF OF Mary - - OF OF OF - 2B Sue <------- Field Manager -------->Spectators: Scott Steadman and the caffenated Kona.
Offensively we weren't that dominating, but there were a few of our signature homers: Daniel had two solo homeruns his first two times at the plate, Rich hit a 3-run dinger in the first inning, and Tony had a 2-run "steal-home-cuz-they-aren't-watching-me" homer in the second. The RBIs kept coming in, nevertheless, giving us a lead we would never give up and creating a mercy-out in the 6th.
Defensively there were some real stars. Annette and Robb combined for two put-outs in the first to end the inning, then Annette moved from 3B to RF and caught the final out in the second. Joe and Mary made some impressive catches in the outfield in the third and fourth. We even had two doubleplays: Kim doubled off the runner at second in the 4th, catching Scott's throw from the outfield, and in the final inning, Ron caught a hard liner and threw to Rich at first, catching a tall Crawdad off guard and off-base, which moved him to pull his cap off and slam it into the ground. DOH~!
The post victory dinner was NOT held at Crown City (despite many impassioned calls for it) but rather Round Table. Those in attendance were Rich, Jeff, Scott M., Joe, Ron, Sue, Kim, and Scott S.
Our next game is Wednesday, July 14 on field H3 against the LA Radars. Please let Jeff or Richard know if you cannot make it.
Sue Kientz
Dinner was Georgee's pizza at Martha and Doug Strain's home, attended by the following:
Once again the annual HOMERS Summer Solstice Barbecue was a big success. Thanks to Richard's weeks of preparations everything came off just as planned. The carne asada was delicious. The tortillas were warm. The drinks were cold. The sprinklers didn't come on until we were just about to clean-up.
What more could anyone ask for? Well, maybe just one thing, some HOMERS offense! Yes, sadly the HOMERS lost their second game in a row, this time to the Voodoo Toad Fury.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
HOMERS 1 2 0 0 3 0 0 6
Voodoo Toads 0 1 4 0 3 3 x 11
1 2 3 4 5 6
Scott OF OF OF -- OF OF
Karen P 3B 2B 3B -- P
Rich 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B --
Jeff C OF C OF C --
Robb SS -- SS P -- 1B
Kim 2B 2B -- 2B 2B 2B
Richard OF P OF -- SS OF
Tony 3B SS -- SS P SS
Ron OF -- P OF OF 3B
Annette OF OF 3B -- 3B OF
Joe -- OF OF OF OF OF
Daniel -- C -- C -- C
Sheila -- -- OF OF OF --
Sue <---- Field Mgr. ---->
Dinner guests/spectators: Amy Holst, Earl Higa, Mary Wittman, and Kona
Highlights: This year's menu was somewhat simplified with just carne asada and no chicken. As usual the marinated beef from El Matador was a big hit with everyone. The fill in chefs for this year were able to carry- on in the fine tradition established by Raul. Richard's purchase of AMPLE amounts of meat ensured that no one went home hungry!
An added treat this year was the addition of pot-luck side dishes to this year's menu. Daniel provided an assortment of fresh fruit. Karen and Robb provided cookies. Earl and Scott provided an assortment of salads. The guacamole was provided by Jeff.
Conversation during the BBQ was friendly, with many Toads joining in this year. Kona was on her best behavior, hoping for a handout of any leftover morsels. Whoever had food at the moment was Kona's new best friend.
Those that stuck it out to the end and help with clean-up were rewarded with packages of left over meat to take home an savor for the next couple of days.
Oh yeah, as far as game highlights go, there weren't many. Tony hit the only home run for two runs in the second, and our defense was tight to hold the usually high scoring Toads to only 11 runs. Probably the less said about the game the better.
Next week's game is Wednesday against the Deep Space Cadets on H2. We will be missing several regulars, so please let Richard or Jeff know if you can't make it.
Note: The following account is loosely based on a true story. Any similarities between the characters depicted here and actual people is purely coincidental.
We now take you to the living room of a typical household in suburban Americana, circa mid-60s. A young girl sits on the floor, maryly playing with her brand new Barbie doll, a scene played out in thousands of homes throughout the country each year. But this scene is different, this scene although seemingly serene and typical, is about to have tragic results. For, unbeknownst to our young heroine, a shadowy figure is slowly creeping up from behind, emerging from the dennisens of the slumbering darkness. This typical American household is about experience a frenzy of activity that will have dire consequences reaching to the plateau of the next millennia, decades in the future.
In a flash, the Barbie doll is ripped from the young girl's innocent hands. In an instant, Barbie's head is torn from the body and hurls across the room, smashing into the wall and dropping to the floor with a disheartening thud. The legs are severed in the next instant, and also find themselves flying across the room, only to land amid the smoldering ashes of the fireplace. The arms are next, and are soon only memories of what was once a young girl's dream. The family cat runs for cover, fearful that the same fate may await her as well. The young girl stares through her tears at her older brother, able only to utter words in tearful gasps. "Someday you'll.... pay for .....this! Someday......my softball team ......will kick your.....*%$&@ team's butt. Mooooom, Daaaaad!"
Fast forward to June 10, 1999, Pasadena, California. The scene, a softball field where a grudge is about to play out it's long awaited destiny. It is time to pay the piper, put up or shut up, walk the walk, (there's probably other cliches here, but I think you get the point). The significance of the moment is not lost on the Homers, the importance of the game etched in the determined countenance of each player's face. They are the chosen few to whom our young heroine is now looking for assistance in ending these years of agony. For today, the young girl and her older brother are about to settle the score. Today, the painful memory of Barbie can finally be laid to rest!
But fate can be cruel in it's vengeful game, and Barbie's redemption will have to wait for another day. The older brother, possibly sensing the opposing team's determination, felt compelled to enlist support from another sibling, and the IR Sox (aka, the older brothers's team) beat the Homers (aka, our young heroine's team) by a score of 20-17.
The line score:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
HOMERS 0 6 7 0 3 0 1 17
IR Sox 0 0 15 0 2 3 x 20
The players:
Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B Daniel OF -- OF -- -- -- Scott M OF OF OF OF OF OF Robb SS P SS SS P SS Mary OF 3B OF OF 3B OF Ron P OF P OF OF OF Jeff 1B C 1B C 1B C Joe C OF C OF OF OF Annette 3B OF OF 3B OF 3B Tony OF SS -- P SS P Rich -- 1B 3B 1B C 1B Sue <----------- Field Manager --------------->Spectators: Gyro, now with a walking cast, and Scott S, with no cast.
Homer defensive accolades go to Jeff, for a nice scoop at first of an Astro Turf throw from Tony. Also of note was a good catch and throw to the cut-off by Mary, thus holding a runner, and a 1,2,3,4,5,6 pitching performance in the first two innings by Ron and Robb. Offensive highlights were two three run dingers by Tony, four baggers from Daniel and Ron, and a "Look, I can still run" homer by Rich.
Dinner points were once again awarded at Crown City, and were earned by Scott M, Ron, Sue, Kim, Scott S, Jeff, Mary, Robb. A multitude of IR Sox also joined the festivities, and avoided the temptation to further rub our noses in the defeat. Our thanks!
Our next game is Thursday, June 17 on field H3 against the Voodoo TOAD Fury, and is our annual solstice barbecue night. Please let Jeff or Richard know if you cannot make it.
From: jjacob@foxfire.jpl.nasa.gov (Joseph Jacob)
On yet another chilly day, the HOMERS easily handled the Paper Tigers by a score of 18 to 5. The HOMERS got off to a quick start, posting a 15 to 1 lead by the end of the third inning. Highlights of the offensive onslaught include two home runs each from big Rich (momentum = m*v) and little Richard, a grand slam home run from Daniel (who I'm sure has those veteran homers that are used to leading the M. Homer soul competition quaking in their shoes these days), and additional homers from Tony and myself (Sue made it official, mine counts, so :P~~~ ). Scott had a nice 3 RBI double in the 2nd inning.
The homers also played a solid defensive game, allowing only 5 runs. Defensive highlights include a very nicely executed double play: Robb(SS) to Aimee(2B) to Ron(1B) and a pair of catches by Sheila in left center.
Special thanks to newcomer Aimee for joining us and demonstrating not only a very high skill level, but also a great attitude.
After the game Richard let us all down by losing a foot race (twice) to a younger, more fit Asian guy on the other team. The game was still a win though, so the post victory dinner was held at Crown City. Those in attendance were Scott, Sue, Ron, Kim, Jeff, Richard, and Joe.
The line score:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Paper Tigers 0 1 0 2 2 0 0 5
HOMERs 4 6 5 1 1 1 X 18
The players:
Rich 1B 1B C 1B C 1B - Jeff OF - 1B - OF - OF Ron 3B P OF SS 1B - P Kim 2B 3B 2B - 3B 2B 2B Richard OF OF P OF - P SS Tony P SS SS - P SS 1B Robb SS OF - P SS OF OF Aimee OF 2B - 2B 2B 3B - Joe C - OF OF OF OF OF Daniel - OF OF OF OF OF C Annette OF - 3B OF OF - 3B Scott - C - C - C - Sheila - OF OF 3B - OF OF Sue <----------------- Field Manager ---------------->Spectators: a hyper Kona and Gyro who was an inspiration, rooting us on, despite a leg injury.
Our next game is Thursday, June 10 on field H2 against the IR Sox. Please let Jeff or Richard know if you cannot make it.
Date: Fri, 21 May 1999 15:43:36 GMT
From: RCHEN@kelvin.jpl.nasa.gov
Episode III - The Coming Darkness
Anakin Skywalker, miffed that decidedly
un-cute sidekicks and goalie-masked bad
guys and as-yet-unconceived twins earned
greater attention, turns to the Dark
Side. "Master Homer, teach me how to
achieve greater name recognition in the
face of expanding extraterrestrial
penetration into our market." "Teach
you will I, but choose first you must:
respect earned slowly, or notoriety
achieved easily?"
"- market research shows fundamental
paradigm shifts in our key
demographics away from virtue
- our process defines our goal to be
fame and not the type of fame, so
easily-achieved notoriety will exceed
expectation and reduce cycle time and
cost."
"Then, my young Jedi, heed these words:
go for the long ball at all cost, and
show no mercy toward your opponents."
Thus the embodiment of evil turned to his Death Star in Episode IV,
while the Homers returned to C League, beating the Gravity Fielders
by a score of 20 to 12.
Gravity Fielders 2 0 0 4 0 3 3 12
Homers 8 4 0 0 7 1 x 20
The batting order and the defense:
Scott OF OF OF OF - C C
Robb 1B SS P SS C SS P
Jeff C - C - - - -
Kim OF 2B OF 2B - 2B OF
Tony SS P SS - SS P SS
Ron P OF - 2B P 3B OF
Richard OF OF - P OF OF 1B
Annette 3B 3B 3B OF 3B OF -
Daniel OF - OF OF OF OF OF
Rich - 1B 1B 3B 1B 1B -
Joe - C OF C OF - OF
Kathleen 2B OF 2B OF 2B - 2B
Mary - - - - OF OF 3B
Sue <---field manager-->
Scott-O jump-started the offense by homering to lead off the first,
hitting a well-placed ball to left-center between two outfielders
possibly named Alfonse and Gastone. Tony hit two home runs deep to
right field later in the game, while Richard and Joe each got one,
of which the former's got out of the infield. The other hitting
hero was Kim, who reached base safely all three times. Kim also
earned the defensive play of the day honors; in the sixth with
two runners on and one out, Kim moved back and to her right to catch
a blooper, then threw to Robb covering second to double off the
runner who had not hesitated running to third. There were also a
few needless, nameless overthrows that kept the game close.
Welcome and thanks to Kathleen, who not only substituted admirably, but also showed some true Homer spirit by joining Scott, Robb, Joe, Ron, Sue, Mary, Kim, and Richard for dinner at Burger Continental.
We have no game next week. Our next game comes the following week on June 1, the day after Memorial Day. Our opponents will be a very good team, the Paper Tigers. We have also picked June 17 for our 3rd annual summer solstice barbecue, after the game against Voodoo Toad Fury.
Date: Fri, 14 May 1999 08:41:42 -0700
From: Kim Steadman <Kimberly.B.Steadman@jpl.nasa.gov>
The HOMERS fourth game of the season started out with two great innings of defense. The top of the first inning saw Rob do all the work. He was the pitcher and the first three batters hit the ball right back to him for three consecutive outs. The second inning was another defensive marvel with another 1, 2, 3 inning with several HOMERS making good defensive plays. The HOMERS stayed undefeated with a 31 - 17 win over the Bruisers.
Offensively it was the day of the Home Run with several HOMERS getting in on the fun. Scott M, Robb, Jeff, Ron, Richard, and Daniel all hit Home Runs.
After jumping out to a 21 - 0 lead the HOMERS tried some new defensive alignments including an all Female infield. Just about everyone got to try a new position in the field. Sheila joined in on the fun by making her pitching debut in the 3rd inning
Scott Steadman made his HOMER debut and got a hit every time he came to the plate. He also gave his all in the outfield. Evora made her 1999 debut as a HOMER. She also got a hit every time she came up to bat and played strong defense.
Some great defensive plays included Sheila's catch of a really high pop fly in the outfield, Daniel grabbing two pop ups behind the plate, and a nifty throw to first of a little tap that went about two feet in front of home plate by Scott M.
The great base running award for the game goes to Ron for tagging up at second and scoring on a long fly ball while the defensive player marveled at his own catch.
The Line Score:
1 2 3 4 5 6
HOMERS 4 9 8 1 2 7 31
Bruisers 0 0 8 5 3 1 17
The Players:
Scott M OF OF 1B OF OF C Kim 2B 2B 3B 3B 2B Robb P SS C OF Jeff C 1B SS 1B 1B Ron OF P OF OF P Evora 1B 3B 2B 1B 2B Richard SS OF P P SS Scott S. OF OF OF OF OF Annette 3B OF OF SS OF Joe OF OF C OF 3B Sheila OF P SS 3B OF Daniel C OF 2B C OF Sue <---field manager---->Spectators: Gyro and Kona
The post victory dinner took place at the HOMERS favorite hangout - Crown City Brewery. Those in attendance included: Robb, Ron, Sue, Scott M, Kim, Scott S, Jeff
Next game is THURSDAY (note: new day of the week), 5/20, on field H3 (in the corner), against the Gravity Fielders.
Please let Jeff or Richard know if you cannot make it.
From: Daniel Limonadi <Daniel.Limonadi@jpl.nasa.gov>
The 3rd game of the season took place on one of the nicest days yet of this funky Spring we are having. Despite numerous attempts by lost soccer little leaguers to storm the field and a marginal defensive showing in the 3rd inning when no one could throw a ball to the even the vicinity of 1st base, the HOMERS persevered and our winning legacy was continued with a 25 to 17 victory over the Cinco Equis squad.
The Line Score:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Equis 0 1 7 2 0 5 2 17
HOMERS 5 4 1 0 12 3 X 25
The Players:
Karen P 3B P 3B 3B C - Scott OF OF OF OF OF OF - Jeff C - C - C - C Ron 3B P 3B P SS - OF Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B - 2B 2B Tony SS 1B SS 1B - SS P Richard OF OF OF - OF P OF Robb 1B SS - SS P 1B SS Annette OF OF - OF OF OF 3B Daniel OF - OF OF 2B OF OF Sheila - OF OF OF OF OF OF Rich - C 1B C 1B 3B 1B Sue <------field manager----->Spectators: Scott S., Gyro, Kona, mystery man (petting Gyro and Kona)
Offensive kudos go to Richard, Rich, Ron, and Daniel for home runs. Three of them were 3 run homers. In the unbiased and seasoned eyes of this veteran sports reporter the 1st home run by that Daniel guy was a beauty to behold. Kim continued her injured woman hitting spree with 3 singles. Defensive wow's included another graceful(?) 'hey, look, I caught it!' catch by Annette, and a graceless 'I got it, I got it, I... oops' drop by Daniel. The team pulled off a nice P->2B->1B double play to keep the Cinco's scoreless in the 5th inning. Another one in the oops catagory was contributed by Rich who made a nice play at first base thinking that it was the 3rd out... by the time he realized the inning was still in play a Cinco player had run home.
The team injury record continued its downward spiral with Robb hurting his hamstring in the middle of the game... though if his post injury performance mimics Kim's he should be hitting consistent home runs at the next game. At the rate of one injury per game the HOMERS will need to start hiring pinch runners by game 12 or 13. Maybe we should get OSHA involved.
The post victory bash took place at the ever hip & happening HOMERS hangout - Crown City Brewery. Stuffing their faces after the strenuous game were Rob, Ron, Sue, Karen, Scott M, Kim, Scott S, Jeff
Next game is Wednesday, 5/12, on field H3 (in the corner), against the Bruisers - Karen's team. We'll need good attendance from the woman folk since Karen will be playing for the Bruisers. Hopefully we'll be doing the Bruising.
Please let Jeff or Richard know if you cannot make it.
On a day more suited to kite flying than softball, the HOMERs defeated the Wild Turkeys by a score of 22-8. This game marked the first use of the HOMERs second-string field management team owing to the absence of Sue who was dispatched by NATO authorities to Kosovo to recruit the three American POWs for the HOMER pennant drive. The team was ably handled by Jeff and Richard, although the typical slow HOMER start was evident even with the new leadership.
The line score:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Wild Turkeys 3 4 0 1 0 0 0 8
HOMERs 1 0 6 8 2 5 x 22
The players:
Kim 2B OF C - C - - Scott OF OF SS OF OF - OF Richard OF SS P SS - P SS Jeff 1B C OF OF - C C Karen P 3B 2B 2B 3B 3B P Tony SS P OF - SS OF 3B Joe OF OF - C OF OF OF Daniel C OF - OF OF OF OF Annette OF - OF 3B OF OF OF Robb 3B - 1B P P SS 1B Rich - 1B 3B 1B 1B 1B - Sheila - 3B OF OF 2B 2B 2BSpectators: Gyro, Kona
Offensive honors go to Tony with a 3 run dinger and Rich with 2 triples. Defensively, honors go to Richard, who actually managed to make numerous plays without a single overthrow, including starting a 1-2-3 double play which also involved Jeff and Rich. Daniel and Annette get honorable mention for outfield catches.
Movie premier honors go to Sheila, whose single is now immortalized on the HOMER web page. Critics unanimously agree that it would have looked better in a sumo suit.
The celebratory dinner was held at Round Table and attended by: Robb, Kim, Karen, Annette, Jeff, Rich, and Scott.
Next game is Wednesday, 5/5, on field H3 (in the corner), against Cinco Equis. (Hey, wait a minute, are we really playing a team with a Spanish name on Cinqo de Mayo - bring on the Coronas).
Please let Jeff or Richard know if you cannot make it.
Well, the new C-league season has begun, but some things don't seem to have changed. The HOMERS began this new season by renewing several HOMERS traditions:
1 2 3 4 5 6 final
HOMERS 1 3 8 3 3 5 23
The O-zone 7 0 3 2 0 5 17
The HOMERS line-up was:
Karen P 2B 3B 2B 2B . Scott M. OF OF OF OF OF . Jeff OF 1B 1B 3B . 1B Tony 1B SS SS P . SS Kim 2B OF 2B . OF 2B Richard OF OF OF . P OF Robb SS P . SS SS P Joe C OF . C OF C Annette 3B . OF OF 3B OF Ron OF . P 1B 1B OF Daniel . C C OF C OF Sheila . 3B OF OF OF 3B Sue <---field manager---->Spectators: Scott S., Kona, Gyro
Offensively the HOMERS lived up to their name with Tony hitting 2 (a 3 run shot and a solo shot), Ron hitting 2 (a 2 run shot and a 3 run shot), and Richard hit a 3 run home run. Their were also a couple of triples and several doubles as just about every HOMERS member got on base.
Defensive highlights included a fine running catch by Joe in the outfield and a couple of close plays from Tony at shortstop just beating the runner with his throws to first.
Post game revelry occurred at that old HOMERS standby Crown City Brewery. In attendance were Kim, Scott S., Robb, Scott M., Karen, Sue, Ron, and Jeff.
Remember next week's game is on Wednesday April 28, 1999 on field H2 (in other words the other field) against the Wild Turkeys. This is the HOMERS home opener for the season. Be there for all the festivities.
last update: 21 January 2000