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| date | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Apr 24 | L.A. Radars 8, Homers 17 | |||
| Apr 29 | Homers 22, Encumber This 16 | |||
| May 08 | Homers 24, Bruisers 11 | |||
| May 14 | Homers 27, Deep Space Cadets 20 | |||
| May 22 | Crawdads 14, Homers 16 | |||
| May 27 | bye | |||
| June 02 | bye | |||
| June 09 | Eclectic Eccentrics (ff) @ Homers | |||
| June 16 | bye | |||
| June 23 | bye | |||
| July 1 | Fringes 11, Homers 23 | |||
| July 8 | Wild Turkeys 17, Homers 22 | |||
| July 17 | Homers 16, Paper Tigers 6 | |||
| July 24 | Homers 18, Voodoo TOAD Fury 17 | |||
| July 30 | Running Dogs of NASA 9, Homers 17 | |||
| Aug 6 | Gravity Fielders 10, Homers 22 | |||
| Aug 11 | Homers 23, KIDS 13 | |||
| Aug 18 | Homers 6, Goat Scouts 13 | |||
| Aug 28 | Voodoo Toad Fury 12, Homers 16 | |||
Here's a map to the Rose Bowl fields H2 and H3.
We've also got one game at Eaton Blanche Park
in East Pasadena.
# * 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 $ i 1 2 Richard Chen 6 3 3 3 4 4 5 2 5 7 4 3 2 1 3 2 3 Ron Baalke 5 4 4 4 5 5 6 5 3 3 5 2 3 1 4 3 1 Jeff Osman 4 1 2 1 3 2 2 4 1 2 3 1 2 1 4 4 Andres Castano 8 8 11 8 11 10 14 15 9 9 10 4 8 12 5 5 Kim Steadman 2 2 6 7 7 3 1 6 5 7 5 7 1 6 6 6 Joe Jacob 9 9 8 9 8 10 8 7 13 6 9 11 1 8 7 7 Scott Morgan 1 1 2 2 1 3 1 S 1 1 3 1 1 1 8 8 Sue Kientz 4 4 4 5 5 6 3 3 5 7 6 3 4 9 9 Becky Castano 10 11 11 11 10 15 14 11 15 9 12 13 12 10 10 Robb Warren S 7 S S S 14 19 13 S 11 14 14 1 11 11 Scott Steadman 3 S S S S S S S S S S S 2 12 12 Rich Benesh 6 7 6 1 4 7 2 6 2 4 5 1 7 13 13 Steve Broberg 10 9 12 13 12 13 9 12 13 8 14 11 14 14 Annette Nasif 7 10 9 13 17 6 14 8 12 1 9 15 15 Daniel Limonadi 11 13 9 7 9 11 16 10 15 1 9 16 16 Eric Limonadi S S S S S S S S S S 17 17 Tony Ganino 9 12 12 11 8 8 7 10 18 18 Sheila Ganino 8 3 8 10 12 1 9 19 19 Mary Wittman 10 15 19 14 14 17 17 20 20 Alyssa Ganino S S S S S S S 21 21 Scott Galloway 11 9 12 10 13 6 22 22 Tanne Picha 18 10 15 11 16 23 23 Frank Picha 16 13 10 S S 24 24 Ken Lawrence 5 12 25 25 Mark Chatillon 8 26 26 Joshua Levesque S 26 26 Kiarra Levesque S 26 26 Kathy Ganino S 26 26 Peggy Jennings S
#==current ranking, *==previous ranking, Yes, No, Spectator, Disabled/dead, Late arrival, Early exit
The algorithm to determine the winner:
# * 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 1 2 Ron Baalke + + + + + + + + + + + + + 1 1 Jeff Osman + + + + + + + + + + + + + 3 3 Kim Steadman + + + + + + + + + + + + 3 3 Robb Warren + + + + + + + + + + + + 3 3 Scott Morgan + + + + + + + + + + + + 3 3 Scott Steadman + + + + + + + + + + + + 3 3 Joe Jacob + + + + + + + + + + + + 8 8 Richard Chen + + + + + + + + + + - + + 9 9 Rich Benesh + + + + + + + + + + + 10 10 Sue Kientz - + + + + + + + + + + + 11 11 Becky Castano + + - + + - + + + + + + 12 12 Andres Castano + + + - + + - + + + + - + 13 13 Daniel Limonadi - + + + + + - + + 13 13 Annette Nasif - + + + + + - + + 13 13 Eric Limonadi - + + + + + - + + 16 16 Scott Galloway + + + + - + 17 17 Steve Broberg - - - + - + - + + - 18 20 Mary Wittman - + - - - + 19 22 Tony Ganino + - - - - - - + 20 18 Mark Chatillon + 21 19 Frank Picha - + - - - 22 20 Tanne Picha - + - - - - 23 28 Sheila Ganino - - - - - - + 23 28 Alyssa Ganino - - - - - - + 25 23 Kathy Ganino - 25 23 Kiarra Levesque - 25 23 Peggy Jennings - 25 23 Ken Lawrence - 25 23 Joshua Levesque -# current ranking
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 sum
Steve 2 1 2 2 1 * 1 9+
Richard 1 1 1 1 1 2 1 1 9
Ron 2 2 1 1 1 7
Scott 1 1 1 2 1 6
Tony 1 2 1 1 5
Joe 1 1 1 1 4
ScottG 1 1 1 3
Rich 1 1 2
Becky 1 1
Jeff 1 1
Andres 1 1
Robb 1 1
* lost home run due to dubious interference claim
The reason that this HOMER game report is late, is a certain soon-to-be-former governor asked Ron is he could write this most important report.
MONTHS later, we decided to RECALL that report from the Governor, and we have a new writer subbing in for our own Mr. Baalke. I'm sure this person needs no introduction, and here's his report:
---------------------------------------------
Hello and welcome to the wonderful HOMAHS report! I am a very busy man, but I just wanted to describe to all of yous the incredible TERMINATION of the Voodoo Toad Fury girlie men just this last summah. They were completely trounced by the Pumped Up HOMAH men and women (ah de women) and gave these frogs that they call themselves, a reall froggin'. haha. I hear the score was HOMAHS 16, Voodoo Toad Fury 12. Let them think about that all the winter long, while I clean up the beautiful state of California.
I'm also told that with the victory and all these things, the HOMAHS clinched the mythical C-League Championship, and finish their season at 14-1. What an incredible record. I hope to have such a record -- or better -- when I clean house of all the problems in the state legislature in just a few weeks.
Toads 0 1 5 0 5 1 0 - 12
HOMAHS 3 2 9 0 2 0 x - 16
Attending the game were Kim, Richard, Ron, Sue, Rich, Sheila, Scott G.,
Andres, Tony, Annette, Joe, Becky, Robb, Daniel, Tanne and Mary. Ahh, Mary...
Here are the victorious HOMAHS and the positions that they played:
Kim 2b - 2b - 2b - 2b Richard of of of of - of of Ron p of of p of - p Rich 1b 3b - 1b 1b 1b 1b Sheila of 2b - 2b - 2b - Scott G. ss ss ss - ss ss ss Andres c - p c - c c Tony 3b p - ss p p of Annette of - of - of - of Joe of - of of of of - Becky - of 3b - of - of Robb - 1b 1b 3b 3b - 3b Daniel - c c - c 3b - Tanne - of - of - of - Mary - - - of - of - Sue <-----Field Manager------> (ahh, what a woman...)
Sideline participants also included Scott Morgan (injured, so not a girlie man for not playing), Scott Steadman, Alyssa Ganino, Eric Limonadi and Frank Picha.
Just to remind all of youse, this season the HOMAHS only played 14 games, having endured many bye-games, including not playing for 5 straight weeks in the middle of the season.
Offense: Both teams were very offensive. The HOMAHS were offensive in a good way, with a 2-run Home Run by Scott G (who also went 3-3, galling his former Toadies) and a smashing third inning, where nearly everyone got on base to score nine runs and give a tiny comfort zone to the lead. The Toads, yeah they were offensive, as usual.
Defense: Ah defense. I love the defense, the smashing of skulls... er, but in this game there was much defense (shuffling through old torm HOMER report)... lemme see... Joe caught de long ball a few times, one miraculous one in 6th... Scott G is mentioned many times, he threw many of these balls to first base, and they did not go over Robb or Rich's head. Robb he throw from 3rd and hit the first baseman (in the glove) to end the fifth. Sheila caught one to end the 6th. Ahh, Sheila, what a woman... and Kim she caught a force out from Scott G in 3rd and throw with her Mickey Mouse tattooed arm to Rich and get the second out in the 7th. What a woman, she pump me UP!.... Richard.. let me see.. he got some good outs... the notes say "He's good for something"...
Pitching: Pitching. Ah, I can see Ron pitched 3 shutout innings in the 1st, 4th, and 7th inning. Well, we gotta give the devil his due... Tony Guarino he also pitched good, one-run innings in 2nd and 6th.
The DOH! Player of the Week Award goes to "I had to let him go" Charlie, for allowing Scott G. to leave the Toads. Scott now plays for the HOMAHS and will continue to TERMINATE the Toads for many years to come.
And finally, I have heah email from some of the HOMAH people, who have been so aggravated that de HOMAH report is late. Ron could have asked The TERMINATOR to write this report months ago, when I was not very busy at all. So I the TERMINATOR, as my first official act as Governor, will declare Ron The PROCRASTINATOR.
HOMAHS after-game dinner was held at Crown City. Attendees include Ron & Sue, Kim & Scott, Robb & Mary, Scott M, Scott G., Joe Richard, Rich, Becky & Andres, Daniel & Annette & Eric, Tony & Sheila & Alyssa.
YOU'LL BE BACK for the next game is in April 2004. As usual, let Richard or Jeff know if you can't make the next game.
In short...
Our hitting sucked, our fielding sucked, I got hit in the knee with a softball, we lost 13-6, and to add insult to injury, I got trash-talked by my deputy section manager.
However the game did produce a few notables... Robb Warren wins the Ron Baalke award for stretching 2 1/2 bases into a HR and Joe Jacob wins the Lady Byng Trophy** with his late inning full body check of Tom Hoffman while running from 2nd to 3rd. On defense, Sheila turned in a solid outing at 3rd base but proved herself a true Homer with a sky shot to the bikers (I mean 1B).
I have no idea who ate because I couldn't bring myself to hang out with this sorry group of losers ;) (disclaimer: the views and opinions expressed herein in no way express the views of the author of this document)
See attaced photo for score sheet. There is no info on the next game, I suggest we all call Jeff incessantly until we find out.
** The Lady Byng Memorial Trophy is an annual award given to the player adjudged to have exhibited the best type of sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct combined with a high standard of playing ability. The winner is selected in a poll of the Professional Hockey Writers' Association at the end of the regular season.
Homers 0 1 0 1 1 3 0 6 Goat Scouts 2 0 7 1 0 3 x 13 Sheila 3B OF 3B x 3B 3B Jeff OF 1B 1B OF OF OF Andres P P P C C C Ken SS OF OF SS SS SS Annette 2B 2B x OF OF 2B Tony OF OF OF P 1B P Joe OF OF OF OF OF OF Daniel C C C OF OF OF Tanne OF x OF 2B 2B x Becky x 3B 2B 3B x OF ScottG x SS SS x x x Robb x x x 1B P 1B Scott 1B x x x x x
Apparently the fashion comments of last week made an impression. It would seem that many Homers were concerned that they could not get up to acceptable standards by this week and thus they did not want to appear on the playing field or maybe it was the heat that kept people away. The sparse Homers turnout required Sue to reluctantly take to the field and Scott Steadman to be called into action as Deputy Field Manager, leaving a sole Homers spectator - Cosita.
As is not unusual, the Homers started off slowly defensively. They then picked it up nearly shutting down the KIDS offense except for a loose sixth inning when the KIDS scored eight runs, nearly two-thirds of their total for the game. Steve had a Richardesque overthrow in the first inning, almost going into the KIDS spectators. Richard avoided such overthrows early on with two on target throws to Andres at catcher. Andres caught both of the throws and one day soon will make a tag-out at home. Richard waited for his trademark overthrow until Andres was pitching at which time he was able to get it past both Andres and the catcher (Jeff). Andres, the pitching menace, pitched four shutout innings. The Homers had several outstanding defensive plays, including a sliding catch by Richard that put Sue in perfect backup position and a double play when Richard snagged a fly ball and zinged it to Rich at first where the runner at taken an unwisely large lead and could not get back to the base. Steve also had a great catch in the last inning which took an all-out sprint to get under the ball. Joe demonstrated the other end of the spectrum when he calmly positioned himself for the catch, looking uncharacteristically smooth and in control, all the way until the ball dropped onto the ground. Offensively, Sue exhibited very intelligent base running when she slowed down as she was running from first to second to avoid getting tagged out and saved a double play. Andres, in contrast, so aggressively sprinted to third, that he overran the base and was tagged out. Several side-line coaches suggested that in the future if he was unable to stop, he should just head for home. Jeff showed how to do it in the last inning when he took out the catcher as the throw was coming in. In the end, the Homers prevailed, preserving their record for the season. Dinner was attended by Kim, Scott, Jeff, Ron, Sue, Richard, Becky, Andres, Rich, and Joe.
Homers 5 0 2 7 1 4 4 23 KIDS 4 0 0 1 0 8 0 13 Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B Jeff OF C C C C C C Ron P OF OF SS SS OF SS Richard SS SS SS OF OF SS OF Becky 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B Rich 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B Joe OF OF OF OF OF OF OF Steve OF OF OF OF OF OF OF Sue OF OF OF OF OF OF OF Andres C P P P P P P Scott S <------ DFM ------>
QUEER EYE FOR THE HOMERS
The "fab 5" took on their most ambitious makeover when they analyzed the HOMERs this week. All aspects of the HOMERs' persona were reviewed by the Queer Eye team. The results:
FOOD (Ted): "All these people eat are huge portions of steaming carne asada. It's beef, beef, beef. I would strongly recommend that the next barbecue include a foie gras mousse, a small green salad with a vinagrette dressing, and gently cooked salmon steaks. For dessert, a nice creme brulle with fresh raspberries."
GROOMING (Kyan): "They are a motley bunch - unkempt hair, unmoisturized skin. The dogs and babies look much better than the players. Send them all off the salon and don't forget the ear hair waxing."
FASHION (Carson): "The only semblance of fashion sense on this team are Jeff's sunglasses. Andre's Chinese letter shirt is a step in the right direction, but the rest of the team is wearing worn out T-shirts, old shorts, and sweatpants - basically a fashion disaster. I have designed a nice uniform using chartreuse that will look just faaaaaabulous."
CULTURE (Jai): "Hopeless. These people believe that the Simpsons are a good examples for culture and couth. Some of them even believe that they'll get dates by quoting lines from old episodes. I'd send them to the ballet, but not after seeing the comments about their clothes."
Not at all phased by the report form the "fab 5", the HOMERs continued in their manly, uncouth manner to beat the Gravity Fielders 22-10. The mercy rule was in effect from the 3rd inning on, with a double mercy taking effect in the 4th. Ron, Richard, Scott G., and Tony all got to receive the new, limp-wristed, queer eye "go" signal from the third base coach on their way to home runs. Defensively, Annette and Kim both made good catches. The extremely large Hoard of Homer (ref. Limonadi, July 14, 2003) consisted of:
Kim 2B 2B xx 2B xx 2B xx Rich 3B 1B xx 1B 3B xx 3B Jeff OF xx OF OF xx OF OF Richard OF OF xx SS OF xx 1B Sheila OF xx OF xx xx OF xx Ron P xx SS P xx P SS Tony SS OF xx 3B P xx P Andres C xx P xx C C xx Annette OF xx 2B xx 2B xx OF Scott G xx SS OF OF xx SS OF Robb xx P C xx SS 1B xx Scott M 1B xx 1B xx 1B xx C Becky xx 3B 3B xx OF xx OF Joe xx OF OF xx OF OF xx Tanne xx OF xx OF xx OF xx Daniel xx C xx C xx 3B xx Mary xx xx xx OF OF xx 2B Sue FM FM FM FM FM FM FM Grav Fielders 2 2 1 0 4 1 0 - 10 HOMERs 10 0 6 4 0 2 x - 22
Kudos to the Gravity Fielder who hit a very long Grand Slam in the 5th inning and the GF rover who caught or stopped every ball hit her way.
HOMER spectators were: Alyssa, Peggy, Eric, Frank, Scott S and Conta. Fortunately for all involved, the kittens from last week did not attend.
Dinner was at Crown City. Attending were: Robb, Scott G, Joe, Ron, Sue, Scott S, Kim, Andres, Becky, Jeff, Rich, Scott. Not completing the "Crown City 500" circling the parking lot was Richard who got his first DNF (Did Not Feast) of the season..
Next game is Monday, August 11 against the K.I.D.S on field H2. Let Jeff or Richard know if you cannot attend.
Please be sure NOT to patronize the poor, sappy business shown below that thinks inserting ads in HOMER reports will increase sales.
We are undefeated.. this is great!! (plus quite unexpected, I might add). The Homers have become a Jaggernaut that is consistently pulverizing the opponents using a mixture of misjudgements and luck. The game against the Running Dogs of NASA had some exciting plays and set some interesting precedents: Ron pitched 3 shutout innings, Scott G. had an "all-scott" defensive inning in the 7th, Richard, Tony, Scott M. (and if we are going to be formal, Steve) had home runs, Becky had a throw to Rich in 1st from 3rd for an out and Scott M. shone at 1st with 4 outs with passes from Tony, Ron, Kim and Scott G.
The outside-game event that drew attention this day was the arrival of two kittens that Sheila found. Albeit the following pictorial does not pertain to the game, it does reflect on the inner nature of many of their players, so I'll let it stand.
| Sheila brough some delightful kittens to the game.. we are hoping to find a good home for them. |
| Potential suitors flock to the kittens and start to position themselves for the bid. |
| The news about the kittens traveled fast and far.. |
|
| Many people have invested interest in these kittens. | 
| Some have legitimate reasons to abandon the bid. | 
|
| Mary moves way ahead in her dominance of the field. | 
| After the battle is over, there are still some aggresive attempts to claim the kittens by force. | 
|
Home runs were hit by Richard in the 2nd, Scott M. in the 5th and Tony in the 6th. A home run in the 6th by Steve was contested (and annuled) due to interference in the field (.. those running whining weasels).
The line score:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Dogs 0 2 4 0 3 0 0 9
HOMERS 0 4 0 0 6 7 X 17
The players:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B -- 2B 2B
Jeff OF OF C -- 1B C --
Ron P -- OF P OF SS P
Rich 3B 3B 1B 1B -- 1B 1B
Sheila OF OF OF -- 2B OF OF
Richard OF OF OF -- P OF OF
Andres C C -- C C -- C
Tony SS -- P 3B SS P SS
Becky OF OF -- OF 3B 3B --
Scott M 1B 1B -- OF OF OF --
Scott G -- SS SS SS OF -- OF
Steve -- P 3B OF -- OF 3B
Mary -- -- OF OF OF -- OF
Sue <-- Field Manager -->
Spectators: Scott S., Alyssa, Cosita and the kittens.
The celebration of the game took place at Crown City with the attendance of
Scott S., Kim, Richard, Scott G., Ron, Sue, Jeff, Scott M., Rich, Steve,
Robb, Becky and Andres.
The next game is against the Gravity Fielders on Wednesday. See you then.
Portending their fate, the TOADS arrived wearing black armbands. The Homers started slowly, down 9-1 after 2 innings. Then, we chipped away at the lead by playing solid defense and found ourselves down 5 after 5 innings. Then, the Homer bats awoke with 7 in the 6th and 3 in the top of the 7th to take a 2 run lead. Things were looking difficult with the Homers clinging to a 1 run lead and runners on 2nd and 3rd and 2 outs. However, a pop-up was induced to end the game and make the Homers deliriously happy (well, at least Richard was).
Notable hitting performances:
The following Homers showed up for the game: Kim, Jeff, Rich, Ron, Sheila, Richard, Joe Jacob, Scott G., Mary, Steve, Tony, Frank, Tanne, and Robb.
In the fine tradition of American parenting, this reporter has enlisted the television as a babysitter in order that this incredible piece of literature/journalism be written in a timely manner. Is the TV any better than the fine babysitting skills exhibited by many Homers over the past 3 years? Hmm, only time will tell which had a more dangerous effect on the well-being of my little one.......
Back to the game. Thursday night's exciting event was played at Eaton Blanche park against the Paper Tigers. At first it seemed that this venue may have confused some of the players, but the Homers eventually straggled in and had another strong showing, even with the absence of several regulars. The Homers hitting started off slow until Rich and Joe got things moving with a home run each. The only other home run of the game was hit by Steve. Solid hitting was also seen by Tony and Becky, each with triples, and Frank and Scott with doubles (Frank's hit may have been a triple or better if he didn't watch the ball?!). Andres made his pitching debut in the last inning, doing a spectacular job and holding the opponent to only one run. The Paper Tigers probably wouldn't have made that run if not for an overthrow to first while trying to get the runner out during his lead-off. Other defensive kudos go to all four women who made nice fielding plays during the game. Overall, the entire Homer team played well defensively, holding the Paper Tigers to no runs every inning except 2. Jeff and Richard did a nice job of managing the team in Sue's absence.
Due to the fact that this reporter also had the dual role of babysitting duties, I apologize if anything of importance or interest was left out, and for any errors! Spectators included Alyssa, Eric, and Cosita, and the late additions of Mom Ganino, grandson Joshua, and granddaughter Kiarra. Dinner was at Fuddruckers and did not include the Ganino clan.
Next week's game is Thursday against the Toads - back at the Rose Bowl. Please let Jeff or Richard know if you won't be there.
Homers 0 5 4 0 4 2 1 16
Paper Tigers 0 0 5 0 0 0 1 6
Sheila 3B OF -- 2B 3B -- 2B
Scott OF OF -- OF OF OF --
Richard SS OF OF -- SS -- OF
Ron OF P -- P OF -- SS
Annette OF -- OF 3B OF 3B OF
Jeff C -- -- OF 1B OF --
Rich 1B 1B -- 1B -- 1B 3B
Joe OF -- OF OF -- OF OF
Tanne 2B 2B 2B -- 2B 2B --
Steve P -- P SS -- P 1B
Tony -- SS SS -- P SS --
Daniel -- C OF -- -- C --
Becky -- 3B 3B OF -- OF OF
Frank -- OF 1B -- OF -- C
Andres -- -- C C C -- P
Gather round the fire and I'll tell you a tale of a mighty group of men, women, children, (and dogs, we can't forget the dogs!)...
this is the tail of Homers Hoard, sometimes better recognized as the Hoard of Homer. in certain circles they are known simply as The Homers.
It all began on July 8th 2003... well not really, it began long before that, but it got ridiculously, obscenely huge on July 8th, 2003...
Like a giant and fell swarm, the homers descended onto the H2 field ready to devour and destroy all in their path. Amazingly enough, in their path happened to be the "wild turkeys"... rather aptly named for this particular day. Richard "The Hun" led the charge with 3 of 3 successful at bats, 2 of which were homers. During the game Richard was quoted as saying he "didn't really recruit many people this year"... meanwhile there were 19 (nine-teen) members of The Hoard roaming the field, not including by standers and various small fury and skinned folk! Steve and Tony also each nabbed two home runs, and Ron nabbed one. Many of the runs were brought in during the 4th inning as revenge on the turkeys for their assault on Homer stallward Rob during the same inning. Rob was flipped on his butt by a run-away turkey while manning third and then hit in the knee after he retreated to the pitchers mound.
In other news the Homers Defense got 3 double plays, Scott G to Rich in the 2nd, Steve to Tony in the 6th, and Steve to Kim in the 7th to fend off a mighty charge put on by the Turkeys in the 7th. Sheila also made a great catch in the 5th.
Despite the successful day on the field many of the blood thirsty Hoard members complained of not enough turkeys to go around. Alas, their hunger would have to be satisfied another day, another place, waiting impatiently for the next victim. Most of all, the Hoard of Homer is licking its lips for their arch-rivals, the Toads, but that challenge is yet 2 weeks away.
Special mention goes to the almighty Homer leader, Sue, for keeping the Hoard in order and running like a well greased machine.
Following are the details of the Homers/Turkey's Game.
The line score:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Total
Wild Turkeys 2 1 1 3 2 2 6 17
Homers 5 4 1 7 3 2 - 22
The Hoard Defense:
Kim 2b -- 2b -- 2b -- 2b Jeff of of -- of -- c of Scott of of -- of of -- of Rich 1b 1b -- 1b -- -- -- Sheila of 3b -- of 3b of -- Richard ss -- of -- of of -- Ron p -- of -- p 3b 1b Daniel c -- c -- c -- c Becky 3b -- 3b -- wedding Joe of -- of -- of of -- Scot G -- ss ss -- ss ss ss Tony -- p -- 3b 1b 1b -- Tanne -- of -- of -- 2b of Steve -- of p ss -- p p Andres -- c -- c wedding Annette -- 2b -- 2b -- of -- Mary -- -- of -- of -- of Robb -- -- 1b p -- -- 3b Frank batting only Sue ---- Field Manager -----
The next Homers game is Thursday July 17th at the mysterious "EB" - hopefully Richard or Jeff will be kind enough to describe where it is before then (actually, I think there is a link at the Homers website, but I lost my link to the website :-(
As usual, please let Jeff or Richard know if you are unable to participate.
GASP!! I forgot to mention the beloved & ever supporting spectators - Scott S, Eric, Alissa (sp?), and a small very cute dog that I can't remember the name of (sorry Becky & Andres!!)
And, more importantly for potential Mr. Homers... dinner attendance at Round Table - Richard, Scott S, Kim, Jeff, Daniel, Annette, Eric, Rich, Scott G, Ron, Sue, Steve, Joe, Rob, Scott M.
Every year at the Homer barbecue, as the mounds of food are laid out on impeccably tasteful and sanitary dinnerware, some inspired soul asks, "How did you guys do that?" Well, instead of polite smiles and graceful nods, this year it's time to come clean. In June 1996, Homer management obtained a preliminary draft of "Martha Stewart's C League Barbecuing Handbook". Frankly, the directness of some of the writing was shocking, as the editors were only halfway through reviewing. Nevertheless, the information proved useful. The chapters:
I. Picking the Date: OK, we didn't give the customary one month's notice, as we couldn't set the date until the Thursday before. Still, this was the closest game to the summer solstice, and the only scheduled game in June was a drizzly forfeit.
II. Constructing the Guest List: "With an eye toward a convivial situation, invite polite, proper, polished guests." One plus of July 1 was the opponent. Fringes are known to be very pleasant people, especially pleasant in that they had a lifetime record of 0-4 against the Homers. Aussie Mark Chatillon from the DSN's Canberra complex guest starred for the Homers and fielded without a glove, and a few on-call Homer ringers (Greg and Nancy Carr, Tom and Katie McCarthy, Laverne and Steve Guzman) came for the barbecue.
III. Creating an Ambience: "One of the most important moments on which to expend extra effort is the beginning of the game, often an awkward time, when players feel tentative and insecure." Being the hosts that we are, the Homers made the Fringes feel welcome by giving up 7 runs in the first, then 4 in the second, before throwing five shutout innings. With the bases loaded and two outs in the third, Andres quelled the Fringes' last good scoring chance by pouncing on a swinging bunt, then stretching back to touch home before most people realized the ball was in play. Jeff in LF made the other outstanding defensive play, a catch while running back and to his left for the first out of the fourth. Steve and Ron also turned a line-drive double play in the fifth.
IV. Emily Post: Who Dat? (later renamed "Achieving Spontaneity"): After hanging close in the first off a ground-ball grand slam by Richard, the Homers' true nature came out by the second when they took the lead for good on Becky's double. Tony led off that inning with a solo shot, while Scott hit two later, a solo in the 6th and a 3-run job in the 4th to give the Homers some breathing room at 16-11. Tony (welcome back! where's Sheila?) also took out the Fringe 3B on a funky slide in which he claimed his sandals slipped on the top of the base.
V. Caterers: "For top-notch quality within a fixed budget, consider hiring cheaper labor, possibly third-world types. This may also reduce theft as many will not have developed a taste for foie gras or celeriac borscht." The Homers saved all labor costs by getting contributions from a ton of people, most notably Jeff and Richard, but also Scott S, Robb, Mary, Sue, Mark, others? Kim voluntarily supplemented Richard's burgers, hot links, and what not with cookies, while Scott brought some liquid best described for legal purposes as "Australian Water".
VI. Guest Contributions: "Beyond the gratification of a well conceived and executed C League barbecue, the host may receive unexpected benefits. I recall one evening when a guest, freely imbibing Chateau de Huguolin 1990, sadly bemoaned a pending government investigation into his Fortune 500 company. Let's just say that no one *sold* him out or cut him *short*." The Fringes contributed greatly to the pleasant atmosphere, waiting around in force for the food to cook, initiating interactions outside their own team, and improving the standard JPL ratio, which made everything worthwhile to Homer management.
VII. Finis: "Should your barbecue result in any unpleasant messes, a good host will find unobtrusive ways to cover them up." Unnecessary advice, as the Homers (and the Fringes) ended the night entirely pleasantly, looking forward to the next game on Tuesday, July 8. Please let Richard or Jeff know if you won't be there.
The dry stuff
Fringes 7 4 0 0 0 0 0 11 Homers 5 7 1 5 3 2 x 23 Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B Scott OF OF OF - OF OF OF Jeff 1B OF - OF OF OF - Richard OF SS OF - P OF - Becky 3B 3B 3B - 3B - - Ron P 1B - SS 1B SS P Daniel - C OF - C - 3B Mark OF OF - OF OF - OF Annette OF OF - OF - 3B OF Tony SS - P 1B - 1B SS Andres C - C C - C C Steve - P SS 3B SS - - Mary - - OF OF OF OF OF Robb - - 1B P - P 1B Sue --- Field Manager ---
With the temperature not breaking 62° all day, the Eclectic Eccentrics showed up with only 5 players while the Homers had a full team. Special thanks go to Ken Lawrence, who showed up around 6:00 to relieve Richard, Rich, and Steve, who had a 6:50 B League game.
OK, boys and girls. I hope you're well rested, because it's time for your Homer pop quiz! So, please put your books away, get your pencils ready, and...... RICHARD, I said put your books away... Thank you! You have 10 minutes to complete the quiz, please raise your hand when you're done, and you can then go out and play. Ready.... GO! (correct answers at end of report).
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The line score:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Total
Crawdads 4 0 0 0 1 5 4 14
Homers 2 0 7 4 0 3 - 16
The Defense:
Kim 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b Rich 1b 1b 1b 1b -- 1b 1b Scott of of of of -- of of Jeff of of -- of 1b of of Annette of of of of of of of Richard ss of p -- of ss of Ron p p -- ss ss p ss Joe of -- of of of of -- Becky 3b 3b 3b 3b 3b 3b 3b Daniel c -- c -- c c -- Andres -- c of c of -- c Steve -- ss ss p p -- p Sue ---- Field Manager -----The next Homers game is Tuesday, June 3. As usual, please let Jeff or Richard know if you are unable to participate.
Correct answers: 1:D,E. 2:A,a;B,b;C,f;D,c;E,d;F,e. 3:F. 4:F. 5:D. 6:L.
The Homers fought back from an early 15 to 7 deficit in the 3rd inning versus the Deep Space Cadets to tie it up in the 5th inning, and ultimately win comfortably 27 to 20. As 2 balls went down the sewer drain, so too did the hopes of the Cadets when the Homers poured on 12 runs in the sixth inning. That inning ended with a mercy rule out, but Scott kept running during the ensuing chaos to stretch what looked like a double with the ball at 3rd base into a 3 RBI homerun. Other offensive highlights included an astounding homer by Joe, which nearly caused Richard's head to explode, and yet another great performance by Kim who got on base all 5 times at bat. Steve also went a perfect 4 for 4 at bat. On defense, the Homers picked on former Homer all-star southpaw, Caulkins, all day with Scott making a nice catch to end the 2nd inning and strand Caulkins on base, Annette catching Caulins' towering deep fly ball to right field with serious hang time, and Richard, Rich, and Daniel combining to deny Caulkins a homerun in the last inning, leaving him stranded at 3rd base at the end of the game. There were unconfirmed reports that Annette was overheard taunting Caulkins by getting in his face, poking a finger at his chest, and saying "Bring it on, Caulkins! I could bust you up all night!" Other defensive highlights include a couple of nice catches by Andres behind the plate, Ron holding the Cadets to 5 runs pitching in the last 4 innings, and some great infield play in general by Becky, Richard, Rich, Ron, Steve, and Kim, who combined to produce most of the outs in this game.
Line Score:
Homers 4 0 2 2 6 12 0 : 27 Cadets 1 2 12 0 0 2 3 : 20Defensive Line-up:
Inning 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Jeff OF OF OF C X OF OF Scott OF OF OF X OF OF OF Richard SS SS SS OF X SS OF Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B Ron P 1B 1B P P P P Rich 1B 3B X 1B 1B 1B 1B Andres C X C OF OF C X Annette OF OF OF OF OF OF OF Joe OF X OF OF OF OF X Steve X P P SS SS X SS Daniel X C X X C X C Becky 3B OF 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B Sue <--- Field Mgr. --->
Spectators included Scott S., a late arriving Robb W., a wide-eyed Limonadi baby, and a very quiet Castano puppy. Dinner at Crown City was enjoyed by Jeff, Scott M., Richard, Kim, Scott S., Joe, Ron, Sue, Rich, Robb, Annette, Daniel, baby Eric
The next Homers game is on Thursday, May 22 against Crawdads on field H2. Let Jeff or Richard know if you can't make it.
Big hats and good horse racing.
With the Preakness right around the corner, the Homers tried to stay focused on the game instead of being distracted by the Santos controversy. With all the opportunities to score the Homers did their best to keep Fun-on-their-side, or is that be on the Funny Cide.
Scott, being familiar with Funny Cide, started off the inning with the right attitude. He started the game with his first at bat being a home run. Later in the same inning Rich continued to hedge his bet getting 2 rbi's. At the end of the first inning, Homers were leading the game 4 to 3.
In the second inning the Homers scored 2 runs and the Bruisers scored 3. At this point the game was tied 6 to 6. Thus bringing a loud cheer from the Bruiser bench, something about lets end the game and head to dinner.
In the third inning it was questioned as to whether Ron had been talking to Santos. Ron was able to stretch a possible out into a home run. After reaching home the umpires reviewed the play to see if an electronic device was used to keep him running like an Indian Express until reaching home. In addition to Ron's home run, Richard hit a 2 run homer. Steve, rising to the occasion, followed with a 3 run homer to the cheers of Atswhatimtalknbout. By the end of the inning the Homers were up 21 to 8. We went from being tied to double mercy. Defensively in the inning, Richard makes a great catch including using a touch of grace as he fell but held onto the ball. Homer Homers for the game totaled Scott (1), Ron (1?2?), Richard (1), and Steve (1).
The game continued on into the last few innings with the Homers hanging tight. However, the crowd let out a low sound of discontent when Richard caught the kids fly ball. Hey Richard, even the old Maulers wouldn't have done that to a kid. :-) But on a high note Andres made a couple of great catches behind the plate. Way to be on the ball Andres.
The Homers ended the game winning 24 to 11, continuing their dominance over the Bruisers like an Empire Maker.
Homers 4 2 15 0 2 1 0 total 24 Bruisers 3 3 2 0 0 1 2 total 11 Scott of of of of of of of Jeff c 1b of of of 1b - Richard ss p ss ss ss - p Kim 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b Ron 2b ss 2b 1b - ss 3b Rich 1b 3b 1b - 1b 3b 1b Joe of of - of of of of Mary of of of 3b 3b of of Steve p - p p p p ss Andres - c c c c c c Sue Thanks 2 the Field Manager
Dinner points were awarded at CCB to Scott M, Robb, Jeff, Joe, Andres, Rich, Richard, Ron, Sue, Kim, and Scott S.
The game next week is.. was on Wednesday (05/14). Please let Richard or Jeff know if you weren't there!
After a 3 week disappearance, the former Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammad Said Sahhaf, resurfaced yesterday as the spokesman for the Encumber This softball team. Showing that his 3 week layoff had not dulled his grasp of current events, he made the following pronouncements:
"The HOMERS could never beat Encumber This because they all hit like girls."
"The HOMERS throwing arms are so weak that even if they could field a ball they could never make the play at first."
"We will show the HOMERS no mercy!"
An amazing thing then happened, in a way, each of his pronouncements was shown to be true.
1 2 3 4 5 6 Total
HOMERS 5 10 3 4 0 1 22
Encumber This 2 1 6 1 2 5 16
The line-up:
Jeff OF OF -- OF C 3B Richard OF OF OF OF OF SS Ron P OF SS 1B P P Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B Rich 1B SS 1B C 1B 1B Robb SS 1B 3B P -- OF Andres C C C -- OF C Sue OF OF -- -- -- -- Joe OF -- OF OF OF OF Steve -- P P SS SS -- Becky 3B 3B OF 3B 3B OFThe only HOMERS spectator was Scott S.
Offensive highlights included Kim going 4 for 4, Sue going 2 for 2 (thanks for filling in Sue), and Becky going 3 for 3. Steve lead the homer parade in his season debut by hitting 2 in one inning. Other homers were hit by Richard, Rich, and Joe.
Defensively the highlight of the game belong to Kim who in the third inning showed some amazing new range in moving wide to her left to stop a grounder hit between 2nd and 1st and making the throw in time to get the batter.
The after game food celebration took place at Round Table with Jeff, Kim, Scott S., Richard, Ron, Rich, Robb, Andres, Joe, and Becky participating.
Next week's game is on Thursday May 8 against the Bruisers on H3. As usual, please let Richard or Jeff know if you can't make it.
A small but fired up group of Homers showed up for the first game of the season to take on the Radars. The Radars had a strong and plentiful lineup but it turned out that on this particular night they were no match for the Homers. The Homers claimed their first victory of the year with a 17 - 8 win over the Radars.
The Homers hit 7 home runs in only 5 innings. The first long ball of the season was hit by Becky in the second inning. I think one of the Radars is still chasing that ball. Jeff hit the second HR later in the same inning. The red hot bats of the Homers could not be cooled off by a brisk evening wind. HR hitters: Scott, Jeff, Ron (2), Richard, Andres, Becky.
On the defensive side, it was a very unhomerlike evening. Not one single ball was thrown into the street. This has to be a record or maybe just a miracle. Ron did an amazing job pitching almost the entire game. He got a lot of defensive work as it seemed the Radars were trying to hit to him most of the game. The amazing thing is that when the ball was hit right back to Ron he ignored the call of the double play and threw to first for the sure out! The lone double play of the game was a gem by Richard in the last inning. He caught a line drive and threw out the runner that was on first. The outfield also got some work as Joe and Scott made several nice catches.
A special thanks to Scott Steadman who stepped in for Daniel as the call of the baby was heard. Scott gets the award for best dressed homer and most likely to fall if he had to actually run the bases in his dress shoes.
Dinner was at CROWN CITY and was attended by: Scott M, Scott S, Kim, Richard, Robb, Ron, Andres, Becky, Jeff, and Joe.
The line:
L.A. Radars 1 1 0 3 2 1 8 Homers 3 3 8 0 3 x 17Lineup:
Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B Scott M OF OF OF OF OF OF Jeff 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B Ron P P P P P P Annette 3B 3B OF OF OF OF Richard SS SS SS SS SS SS Andres OF OF OF OF OF OF Joe OF OF OF OF OF OF Becky OF OF 3B 3B 3B 3B Daniel C C x x x x Scott S C C C CSpectators: Eric and Robb.
Order of appearance: Scott M, Kim, Scott S, Jeff, Ron, Richard, Annette, Eric, Joe, Becky, Daniel, Robb.
Next week's game is on Tuesday against Encumber This. Please let Richard or Jeff know if you can't make it.
Ron Baalke provides the following info:
YEAR G* W-L** PCT HR GS R RA HR/G R/G RA/G Comments 1991 17 9-8 .529 32 1 208 221 1.88 12.2 13.0 1992 15 6-9 .400 31 2 188 220 2.07 12.5 14.7 Missing 2 Game Reports 1993 15 11-5-1 .676 30 2 192 165 2.00 12.8 11.0 2 Forfeit Wins 1994 17 12-5 .706 48 2 273 188 2.82 16.1 11.1 Missing 1 Game Report 1995 18 14-4 .778 63 1 303 173 3.50 16.8 9.6 1996 19 14-5 .737 52 3 304 187 2.74 16.0 9.8 1997 19 18-2 .900 68 3 361 203 3.58 19.0 10.7 1 Forfeit Win 1998 16 16-2 .889 81 3 363 189 5.06 22.7 11.8 2 Forfeit Wins 1999 15 12-4 .750 61 2 305 221 4.07 20.3 14.7 1 Forfeit Win 2000 18 15-3 .833 104 1 405 277 5.78 22.5 15.4 2001 17 11-7 .611 69 5 304 237 4.06 17.9 13.9 1 Forfeit Win 2002 15 13-3 .813 52 3 288 181 3.47 19.2 12.1 1 Forfeit Win 2003 14 14-1 .929 49 3 269 177 3.50 19.2 12.6 1 Forfeit Win Total 215 165-58-1 .739 740 31 3763 2639 3.44 17.5 12.3 9 Forfeit Wins Total * = Games actually played. ** = Won-loss record may include forfeit games. See comments column. GS = Grand Slam Home Runs RA = Opponent's Runs Allowed
Other Baalkeisms: new records for 2003, new records for 2002, new records for 2001, recap 2000, new records for 2000, all-time home run statistics, all-time records.
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/ \ DO RE MI DRINK, by Homer J. Simpson.
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| | *ahem* La la la la.... *ahem* LAAAAAAA!!
| __ __)
| / \/ \ DO...... the stuff... that buys me beer
/\/\ (o )o ) RAY..... the guy that sells me beer...
/c \__/ --. ME...... the guy... who drinks the beer
( ) FAR..... a long way to get beer...
\_ _-------' SO...... I'll have another beer...
| / \ LA...... I'll have another beer...
| | '\_______) TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer...
| \_____) That will bring us back to...
|_____ | (Looks into an empty glass)
|_____/\/\
/ \ D'OH!
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