Homers
The Homers, est. 1991, strives to be a pleasant, semi-serious team in
JPL's C League Softball.
Send email to
the regular Homers or
anyone affiliated with the team.
(writers: use the latter for Homers Reports)
If you want to get on or off the latter mailing list, click
here.
Schedule
All games start at 5:30.
| Date | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu |
|---|
| Apr 21 |
1. L.A. Radars 15, Homers 26 |
| Apr 28 |
2. Deep Space Cadets 28, Homers 29 |
| May 04 |
3. Homers 28, Eclectic Eccentrics 22 |
| May 10 |
4. Fringes 17, Homers 19 |
| May 17 |
5. Homers 17, Paper Tigers 12 |
| May 27 |
6. Homers 28, Cinco Equis 8 |
| Jun 02 |
7. Wild Turkeys 16, Homers 22 |
| Jun 10 |
8. Homers 20, K.I.D.S. 12 |
| Jun 15 |
9. Homers 21, Voodoo Toad Fury 31 |
| Jun 24 |
10. Running Dogs of NASA 15, Homers 18 |
| Jun 30 |
11. Crawdads 12, Homers 22 |
| Jul 08 |
12. Homers 19, Acquisition Allstars 17 |
| Jul 19 |
13. Homers 16, Goat Scouts 15 |
| Aug 05 |
14. Gravity Fielders 8, Homers 22 |
| Aug 09 |
15. Homers 18, Bruisers 9 |
| Aug 19 |
i. Homers @ LA Radars (ff) |
| Aug 26 |
16. Acquisition Allstars 19, Homers 13 |
| Sep 1 |
17. Voodoo Toad Fury 19, Homers 7 |
Here's a map to the Rose Bowl fields H9 and H7
(formerly named H2 and H3).
M. Homer (body)
# * 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 $ i
1 1 Jeff Osman 3 1 2 4 1 1 1 1 2 2 1 1 1 1 1 3 2 1 1
2 2 Ron Baalke 1 3 3 3 2 2 2 2 3 8 2 3 2 2 2 1 3 11 6
3 3 Richard Chen 4 5 5 1 4 3 5 3 5 3 5 7 6 5 4 4 5 1 2
4 4 Tony Ganino 4 9 9 10 7 10 11 5 12 6 6 12 9 8 10 8 6 11
5 5 Joe Jacob 7 10 6 9 5 5 10 12 6 11 9 10 9 8 5 9 1 3
6 6 Andres Castano 8 8 12 11 7 9 10 10 15 12 10 5 6 7 7 8 1 3
7 7 Becky Castano 11 12 11 12 7 7 10 10 13 8 10 14 10 11 13 10 1 6
8 8 Steve Broberg 10 11 13 13 11 12 12 13 13 16 13 14 16 13 13 16 11
9 9 Kim Steadman 6 2 1 2 6 4 8 7 4 6 8 7 5 10 12 11
10 10 Scott Steadman S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S
11 11 Rich Benesh 14 6 4 6 4 4 5 4 2 7 4 6 9 7 1 9
12 12 Sue Kientz 1 3 3 7 2 9 2 8 3 2 3 2 1 3 6
13 13 Sheila Ganino S S S 8 14 9 7 7 13 15 12 14 12 11
14 14 Haley Ganino S S S S S S S S S S S S S 3
15 14 Alyssa Ganino S S S S S S S S S S S S S S
16 16 Annette Nasif 9 7 8 8 6 8 12 10 9 12 9 6 11 1
17 17 Mary Wittman 12 15 8 11 15 16 17 14 15 14 16 14 17 1
18 18 Eric Limonadi S S S S S S S S S S S S S
19 19 Daniel Limonadi 6 10 5 9 14 14 11 8 11 12 10 14 1
20 20 Scott Morgan 9 13 7 1 1 3 5 4 15 S 1 1 5
21 21 Robb Warren 14 10 S 15 18 15 16 15 15 15 1
22 22 Mark Chatillon 13 7 6 15
23 23 Don Calkins S S
24 24 Adrian Downs 11
25 25 Holly Schmidt 12
26 26 Peggy Jennings S
26 26 Stan Anderson S
26 - Emily Broberg S
#==current ranking,
*==previous ranking,
Yes,
No,
Spectator,
Disabled/dead,
Late arrival,
Early exit
The algorithm to determine the winner:
number of regular season games attended
if tied, irregular season games attended
if tied, lowest sum of order of appearance at regular season games
if still tied, order of appearance at irregular games
Order of appearance also pretty much determines: 1) each game's batting order,
2) the order of sitting out defensively,
3) the worm award, and 4) who gets sent over to the other team if they don't
have enough. Note: the payment of team fees counts as an irregular game.
M. Homer (food)
# * 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 i 16 17
1 1 Jeff Osman + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
2 2 Joe Jacob + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
3 3 Ron Baalke + + + + + + + + + + - + + + + + + +
4 3 Richard Chen + + + + - + + + + + + + + + + + - +
5 5 Robb Warren + + + + + + + + + + + + +
6 6 Kim Steadman + + + + + + + + + + - - + + +
6 6 Sue Kientz + + + - + - + + + + + + + + +
6 6 Scott Steadman + + + + + + + + + + - - + + +
9 9 Andres Castano + - + + + + + - + - + + - + + + +
10 11 Becky Castano - - + + + + + - + - + + - + + + +
11 10 Scott Morgan + + + + + + + + + + +
12 12 Daniel Limonadi + + + - + + + + + + + +
13 13 Eric Limonadi - + + + - + + + + + + + +
14 14 Rich Benesh - - - + + + + + + + - + + + +
15 15 Annette Nasif - + + - - + + + + + - + +
16 16 Steve Broberg + + - - - + - + - + - + - + - +
17 18 Mary Wittman - + - - - - + - - + - - +
18 17 Mark Chatillon + + +
19 - Emily Broberg + +
20 19 Helen Chang +
20 - Stan Anderson +
22 20 Don Calkins - +
23 21 Haley Ganino - - - - - - + - - - - - - -
23 21 Alyssa Ganino - - - - - - + - - - - - - -
23 21 Sheila Ganino - - - - - - + - - - - - - -
26 24 Tony Ganino - - - - - - - - - + - - - - - - -
27 25 Peggy Jennings -
27 25 Holly Schmidt -
27 25 Adrian Downs -
# current ranking
* previous ranking
+ attended dinner
- skipped dinner
bbq only: Tanne/Frank/Madeline Picha, Laurie Tsao,
John Chang, Lanny and Yenny Goliman, Earl Higa
M. Homer (soul)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 sum
Ron Baalke 1 2 1 2 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 1 15
Tony Ganino 2 2 2 1 1 1 1 2 1 1 14
Richard Chen 2 3 1 1 2 1 1 1 12
Steve Broberg 2 2 2 1 1 1 1 1 11
Joe Jacob 2 1 1 1 1 1 7
Rich Benesh 1 1 1 1 1 5
Daniel Limonadi 1 1 1 3
Becky Castano 1 1 2
Robb Warren 1 1
Andres Castano 1 1
Scott Morgan 1 1
From: Ron Baalke <ron.baalke@jpl.nasa.gov>
Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 17:50:12 -0800 (PST)
In a way, the Toads winning the final game of 2004 is like the Genesis
landing. Both happened at nearly the same time, both seemed so AWFUL at the
time, *shocking*, and yet -- the HOMERS season was a stunning 15-3, so
really, who cares? Genesis got enough science back, even after barreling in
for a parachuteless landing. The HOMERS got enough wins to be able to
endure the Toads barreling in to steamroll them in the final game.
For the season, the Homers averaged over 20 runs per game again. The Homers
lived up to their namesake and hit 72 home runs -- the 3rd highest in team
history.
Box score
Toads 5 1 8 3 2 0 0 19
HOMERS 3 1 1 1 1 0 0 7
Defensive Line-up:
Scott c - - - - - -
Jeff of 1b - of c - of
Ron p of c - of of 3b
Annette of - 2b - of - of
Richard of - of of ss - of
Tony ss ss - ss p ss ss
Rich 3b - of 1b 1b - 1b
Kim 2b 2b - 2b 2b - 2b
Andres of - p of - of c
Joe - of of - of of -
Daniel - c - c - c -
Becky 1b - 3b 3b - 3b -
Robb - 3b 1b - 3b 1b -
Steve - p ss p - p p
Sheila - of - of - 2b -
Mary - of of - of of of
Sue <-----Field Manager------
Sue juggled the lineup and field positions. Sideline participants
included Scott Steadman, Emily Broberg, Alyssa Ganino and Eric Limonadi.
Offense: there weren't that many offensive highlights as the Homers scored a
season low 7 runs and hit no home runs. Tony, Rich and Steve hit triples.
Still, for the year, the Homers averaged over 4 home runs per game, with
four players hitting 10 or more home runs.
2004 Home Run Leaders:
Ron Baalke 15
Tony Ganino 14
Richard Chen 12
Steve Broberg 11
Joe Jacob 7*
Rich Benesh 5
Daniel Limonadi 3
Becky Castano 2*
Robb Warren 1
Andres Castano 1
Scott Morgan 1
Total 72
*Personal Best
Defense: quite frankly, I don't remember the details from the game, but these
were the defensive highlights that Sue scribbled on the game sheet:
3rd inning - 'great putout by Ron'
5th inning - 'Richard got great play for out 3'
7th inning - 'Steve ran out Charlie and got him at 1st'
After the game the HOMERS dinner at Roundtable Pizza was attended by Ron,
Sue, Joe, Jeff, Richard and _______ [your name here! if I missed you,
please tell Richard]
The next HOMERS game is in April versus a to-be-determined opponent.
If you want to play, pay your dues ($25) to Richard!
26 August 2004: Acquisition Allstars 19, Homers 13
From: Tony Ganino <stganino@verizon.net>
In an eventful game, the homers ...
wait...
what are the homers...
You mean I've been following the homers all season?
No way!
Oh well, I guess that's my last trip to Crown City for awhile.
Box score:
A.A.S. 4 0 6 8 1 - 19
Homers 5 0 3 2 3 - 13
Ron 1B P SS OF OF -
Jeff C OF OF OF C -
Joe OF OF OF OF OF -
Annette OF - OF - - -
Andres P OF C P P -
Tony SS SS P SS OF -
Rich - 1B 1B 1B 3B -
Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B - -
Daniel - C - C - -
Richard OF - - - - -
Sheila OF OF OF - 2B -
Robb - - - - SS -
Becky 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B -
Mary - - - OF OF -
Sue --field manager--
Coupled with the loss of their fearless leader, Sue that is, the homers fell
to A.A.S. 19-13. The game started well with homers by Ron and Tony (2R) in
the first, but quickly went south after Richard decided to challenge Mother
Earth to a head butting match. Needless to say, Mother Earth won, which
quickly prompted Sue to lodge a protest with Mother Earth. Sue accompanied
Richard to the hospital and in the process, received a healthy dose of
anecdotes (I mean, one anecdote - many times) and SpongeBob pornography.
After reviewing Richard's skull, the doctors at Kaiser were compelled to
submit a letter to Mother Earth stating that "FAIRPLAY: Mr. Chen is indeed
OK, and therefore, you should rescind your self-proclaimed victory, in the
spirit of fair play and all." God stepped in and refused to deliver the
letter to Mother Earth, saying instead that Mother Earth won on the playing
field and the doctors at Kaiser should shut their traps.
With the loss of Sue, the homers floundered trying to put the roster
together; fielding what seemed to be 14, 6, 12 players in each of the final
three innings. In the confusion that was the third inning, Tony, marvelling
at the roster he had put together, forgot that he had put himself at pitcher
and watched in awe as Rich fielded a ball at first and tossed it to no one
covering the bag. Offensively, Joe Jacob added one more home run. The game
was called after the 5th inning, but I don't know why.
Robb attempted to be a spectator by showing up in the 5th inning without his
knee brace but was quickly pressed into service by Jeff. Otherwise, we
welcomed Becky's dad to our sideline along with the usual list of
spectators, Scott S., Alyssa, Haley, and Eric.
All humor aside, Richard turned out to be OK with a mild concussion (and I
think he remembers the Olympics now) and many thanks go to Sue for
graciously helping him to the hospital.
The manager of the L.A. Radars called to cancel. They've only got 7,
of whom 1 must sit at all times to watch kids. We empathize.
We are still going to have a batting practice since I've got the sodas
in the car. 5:30. We do need the practice, so let's call this an
irregular game for the Homer rankings (that should get at least one
other person out there).
Richard
From: Robb Warren <warren@amgen.com>
>From Warren/Wittman Productions:
Eric Limonadi surveys the field as he settles into his sparkling new
stroller. Although he does not yet understand the game as it unfolds before
him, he feels the intensity exuded by his Dad's teammates. Intrigued, he
allows his young mind to wonder... what if I could play someday on this
team. What if I could be a part of a team as dominate as these Homers.
What if I could, dare I dream, even MANAGE a team such as this. As he
slowly drifts into dreamworld, he smiles the smile that only youthful
innocence can generate.
Flash forward... August 2029. Eric Limonadi surveys the field as he settles
into the now tattered Field Manager chair. Only 25 years ago, this belonged
to one of the legends of the original Homers. But alas, Jeff Osman has been
an integral part of the PGA Senior Tour for the last few years, taking his
cuts at objects other than softballs. He peers to his right to review the
lineup, but Sue has drifted into a senior moment in the middle of putting
together the 3rd inning defensive assignments. Eric contemplates the sorry
state of what has become the Homers, a team originally named for the
athletic prowess displayed on the field of play. Now the team name
represents the senior residence where most of the original Home(rs) now
reside. Eric is comforted in the fact that many of the those original
members have stayed to offer emotional support. However, the emotional
support rendered by these legendary athletes does not make up for the toll
that the advancing years had taken on this once mighty team. One small
consolation is the fact that Richard's throws were no longer sailing over
the first baseman's head. In fact, Richard's throws were no longer sailing
over much of anything. Fortunately for Eric he is able to field a
moderately competitive team utilizing the Ganino quadruplets (hard to
believe they're almost 20 years old now), as well as the two best women
softball players in the C League, Alyssa and Haley Ganino. "Those Ganino's
were pretty busy folks back in the early part of the century", he muses.
Too bad the years of rearing six kids had taken such a toll, and Tony and
Sheila are now confined to the Home watching reruns of 'Who Wants to be a
Billionaire". He looks toward the street in anticipation of the arrival of
Robb. A couple of decades ago Robb's tardiness was attributed to an
extensive commute from his place of employment. Now, Eric speculates, it's
due to the fact that he can't remember where the fields are. Well, Robb
should be pretty happy anyway, since he and Mary are about to celebrate
their second wedding anniversary. All in all, Eric surmises that life isn't
so bad as long as there is some degree of stability in your routine. And
that, he knows, comes from the knowledge that the Homers will convene after
the game to their usual post-game establishment, the Scott Morgan Wing of
Crown City Brewery (est. 2020).
Eric.... Careful what you wish for!
Had Eric stirred from his dreamlike trance, he would have witnessed the
current instantiation of the Homers beat a much improved Bruisers team 9-18.
Offensive highlights in the form of Home Runs were supplied by the still
powerful Ron (2), Richard, Rich, Joe, Eric's Dad Daniel, and a still
productive Tony. Defensive gems were claimed by virtually the entire
infield during a third inning rundown, a couple of nice catches by Joe in
the outfield, a Tony to Kim double play, an inning pretty well dominated by
Steve, and a Ron/Sheila combination to end the game. The salient details.
Jeff of 1b of 1b - of -
Ron c p 1b of - ss -
Richard of of ss - p of -
Kim 2b 2b - 2b 2b of -
Rich 1b 3b 3b - 3b 1b -
Andres p - p of c - -
Joe of of - of of - -
Annette of - of - of - -
Tony ss - of p ss - -
Becky 3b - of 3b - 3b -
Daniel - c - c - c -
Steve - ss c ss of - -
Shelia - of - of - 2b -
Robb - - - - 1b p -
Mary - of 2b - of of -
Sue ---- Field Manager ----
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Total
Homers 6 5 0 3 4 0 - 18
Bruisers 1 0 1 0 1 6 DNF 09
Spectator included Eric, Alyssa, Haley, and Scott S. Dinner Points at
SMWCCB were garnered by Andres, Becky, Joe, Jeff, Ron, Sue, Richard, an
observant and sometimes vocal Eric, Daniel, Kim, Scott S., Scott M., Robb,
and Rich. The next game leading to Eric's eventual succession is Thursday
08/19 against the LA Radars. The usual caveats apply.
05 August 2004: Gravity Fielders 8, Homers 22
From: Steve Broberg <steven.broberg@jpl.nasa.gov>
Homers in Turmoil as Trade Deadline Passes
M. Homer for HomersReport.com
On the eve of the trade deadline, the rumours abounded ... what
moves would General Manager Richard Chen make?
Last season's surprising mid-season acquisition of Scott Galloway
from the Toads keyed last season's 14-1 championship run. This
season, the Homers had leapt out to a 11-1 record and appeared to be
on their way to matching or exceeding their best start ever,
seemingly well-poised to make a run at back-to-back championship
seasons. On the surface, all seemed well. Then came the 7th inning
meltdown against the Goats. While the Homers avoided the loss in the
win column and improved to 12-1, the loss of composure on the field
made it clear that all was not well in Homerville.
In a post-game interview, when asked why he came out of the game in
the near-catastrophic final inning, erstwhile gold glove catcher
Andres Castano railed "I'm not an everyday catcher anymore! My body
can't take it - my arm is dead, it's clear to everyone except the
stinking Homer management! I want to finish my career with the
Homers, but I can't do it behind the plate. Make a place for me in
the field. The Angels accommodated Brian Downing, and moved him to
left field. I deserve the same treatment, dammit. If they won't,
trade me to someone who can use me. I've got a few good years left.
Maybe the Bruisers." Outfield coach Scott Morgan, on hearing about
Castano's demands, "What!?! We're in the middle of a pennant race!
If he thinks I'm going to experiment with moving him to the outfield
now, he's got another think coming. He should've spoken up in spring
training. If he wants to go to the Bruisers, I'm sure we can work
something out."
Second baseperson Kim Steadman, whose increase in production the last
couple of seasons has coincided with the Homers recent run of
success, when asked about the on-field fracas with player-manager
Jeff Osman: "Last year, everything came together and we had a good
run. But it has been written about before by you guys - we are
getting older, and frankly, if we are to have a chance to repeat, GM
Chen needs to go out and get some younger players. It's a long
season, and I can't carry this team by myself." Osman, in a
exclusive interview to HomersReport.com several days later, said "I
told Richard before the Goats game that this team is a ticking bomb.
Even if we don't get fair value in exchange, it'd be worth it to
move some of these players to clear the air in the clubhouse. Get me
a couple of team players for some of these prima donnas, and we'll go
back-to-back. I guarantee it."
Veteran first baseman and batting coach Rich Benesh, when asked about
the Homers turmoil and possible roster moves, just shook his head
and walked away, muttering "I don't need this. I've got my ring
..... Chen won't even spring for caffeine-free Diet Coke .... if it
will cost a penny, nothing will get done ..."
Power hitting utility man Steve Broberg, who has been consistently
missing practices and arriving late on game days, has been rumoured
to be power drinking and one of the Homers most likely to be moved.
His response to the rumours: "Who !@#! cares? Hey, maybe I'll go to
the Toads. I hear Harrington exercised his escape clause and went to
the Rockies. That Kaczinski, now he knows how to stock a clubhouse."
Faced with a team apparently on the verge of self-destruction, the
trade deadline came and went, and while Nomar was no more for the Red
Sox, and Lo Duca is a Marlin, the Homers made no moves. Outside of
Boston, Epstein has generally been applauded for getting a cancer out
of the clubhouse, and DePodesta has been castigated for dealing the
heart and soul from a first place team on a roll. Only time will
tell if Chen's no move was the right move. A potential barometer for
the remainder of the season, the Homers first game after the passing
of the trade deadline vs. the Gravity Fielders, didn't prove to be
much of a test as they faced a Gravity Fielders team that only
brought 7 players. While the Homers supplied a pitcher and catcher
each inning so that the GF'ers could field a team, the Homer batters,
treated to unusually meaty pitching and a thin outfield, belted 6
home runs and were never seriously challenged in a 22-8 victory.
Shortstop Tony Ganino hit two two-run dingers, and Baalke, Chen,
Broberg, and Joltin' Joe Jacob each hit one. The defensive
high(/low)light of the game: Ron Baalke, at short in the seventh,
backed up a ball that got past hard-charging Castano in LF, while
Broberg just stood there in LC. Baalke was also part of a nice 3-1
play from Benesh to Baalke covering at first in the 6th, and received
a throw at catcher from Chen in the OF to nail a runner at the plate.
Baalke himself was nearly nailed at the plate on his HR on a relay
from Broberg to Chen, who were serving as GF'ers pitcher and catcher.
Also of note: Castano played three innings in the outfield, and
cleanly made the play on his first chance.
The line:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
GF'ers 2 1 3 0 0 0 2 8
Homers 9 4 0 4 1 4 - 22
The defensive alignment:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
J.Osman of of of c c x c
R.Baalke c 3b c of x p ss
R.Benesh 1b 1b 1b 1b x 1b 1b
K.Steadman 2b 2b x 2b 2b 2b x
R.Chen of of ss x of of of
A.Castano p c p x of of of
T.Ganino ss ss x p ss ss p
B.Castano 3b x of of 3b 3b 3b
J.Jacob of x of of of of x
A.Downs of x 3b x -- -- --
S.Broberg x p of ss p x of
S.Ganino x of x of x x 2b
R.Warren - -- - 3b 1b c x
M.Wittman x of 2b x of of of
S.Kientz |-----Field Manager ------|
Spectators present included agent Scott Steadman, talent development
manager Gramma Jennings, and minor league prospects Alyssa and Haley
Ganino.
A post-game team meeting was held at Doņa Rosa's to discuss the
team's direction, and was attended by GM Chen, player-manager Osman,
field manager Sue Kientz, and players Baalke, Jacob, Broberg,
Wittman, and Warren. Conspicuously absent were player-coach Morgan,
Benesh, Steadman & Steadman, Castano & Castano, and Ganino and Ganino
and Ganino and Ganino (note: there was plenty of parking).
Chen, when cornered at the post-game meeting and asked why he chose
not to make any moves before the deadline with this powderkeg of a
team: "Trade deadline?! Crap. I've been working on a couple of
reality shows, and I lost track. Did you see me on The Casino?
Pretty cool, huh? And when I heard Cuban was working on a show
called The Benefactor, I started working on one of my own. I'm
calling it The Detractor. I help people get started in a business,
but the fine print on the contract assigns all assets to me, and all
liabilities to the business owner. It's a hoot when they realize
they've been taken and I get to laugh in their face. BWAHAHAHA!"
Although no trades were made, player-coach Scott Morgan, who did not
play last night and was placed on the IL for the remainder of the
season, confided in a phone interview later that evening: "It's
really not that bad. I could still play and coach. But GM Chen and
I have our differences. I'm not happy with the direction the club is
taking, and I could use a break. Who knows, maybe I'll be back next
season." The only other roster move made was the call-up of Adrian
Downs, who managed to inject a burst of energy into an otherwise
somber dugout.
After the post game meeting, Ron Baalke, one home run behind
player-GM Chen for the Homers all-time home run lead, offered another
perspective: "I don't know what all the commotion is about. It's
not about whether you win or lose, or how or where you play. It's
about how many homers you hit. And eating afterwards. Can't forget
about dinner."
For those Homers not be put on waivers in the meantime, the next game
is Monday, Aug. 9, vs. the surprising 8-6-1 Bruisers, who will be
looking to take advantage of the current Homer unrest to steal an
upset victory.
Copyright 2004, HomersReport.com. All Rights Reserved.
Reproduction of any part of this site without express permission is strictly
prohibited.
19 July 2004: Homers 16, Goat Scouts 15
From: Scott Morgan <scott.morgan@jpl.nasa.gov>
For the first 6 innings, the Homers were playing a new team to C league,
the "Girlie Goats". This team was at a decide disadvantage due to their
total lack of offense. The HOMERs put the Mercy rule on them from the 4th
inning on. But, like Spiderman, the "Girlie Goats" transformed into the
"Manly Goats" for the last inning, pounding out 13 runs to send a shaken
HOMERs team home with a 16-15 nail-biting win. The split box score:
1 2 3 4 5 6
HOMERS 2 2 4 4 0 3
Girlie Goats 0 2 0 0 0 0
7 Final
HOMERS 1 16
Manly Goats 13 15
Offensively, HRs were hit by Becky, Tony, and Joe. Richard was "0-fer", as
verbally noted by the Goats after his last at-bat. Jeff gets a sacrifice
for sending Annette home from third when the ball was already in the infield.
Defensively, Tony had a nice layout diving catch in the 5th. The last
inning was a disaster for the HOMERs, as the defense fell apart. The pain
was too much for Andres at catcher, who requested a replacement to finish
the inning. Annette added some sanity to the last inning by confidently
spearing a fly ball in left center.
After the game, one Goat pronounced, using his best Martha Stewart voice,
"We'll be back!" (or was that an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice?).
The defensive alignment:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Kim 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b x 2b
Jeff of c 1b x 1b c 1b
ScottM 1b 1b x 1b x 1b c
Ron p p of x p p p
Annette of x of of x of of
Andres c x c c of x c*
Richard of of x of of of of
Rich 3b x 3b 3b 3b 3b x
Becky of of of x of of of
Tony ss x p ss ss x 3b
Joe x of of of x of of
Daniel x 3b x x c x x
Sheila x of x of of 2b x
Steve x ss ss p x ss ss
Sue |-----Field Manager -----|
ScottS |-----Spectator----------|
Haley |-----Spectator----------|
Eric |-----Spectator----------|
Alyssa |-----Spectator----------|
* - replaced mid-inning due fatigue and disgust
Robb arrived at dinner to announce that he was also married to Britney
Spears, Jennifer Lopez, and Katherine Zeta-Jones-Douglas-Warren. Other
diners at CCB were: Daniel, Annette, Eric, Andres, Ron, Sue, Richard,
Becky, ScottM, Joe, Rich, Robb, Jeff.
Next game is Thursday, August 5, on H7 against the Gravity Fielders. Please
let Jeff or Richard know if you can't make it.
08 July 2004: Homers 19, Acquisition Allstars 17
From: Daniel Limonadi <daniel.limonadi@jpl.nasa.gov>
"Acquisition All-Stars, fast they are. And strong in the ways of the
C-League" said the short haired graying one.
"Yes master. Your perception is keen" said the not-so-young apprentice
"Their weakness you must find, or your demise they will be."
"Yes master."
later,
"Master, we beat them! Their defense is their weakness. We found
it and exploited it." said the not-so-young one.
"Well did your team hit, not-so-young one. But your defense, suck it
does (especially that limonadi guy). Their weakness is your
weakness. Become not cocky. Train you must if you want to be
strong in the ways of the C-League. Young is this team, kick your
butt in the future they will if they improve their defense." said the
short haired one, with a look of deep disapproval.
"We strive always to be pure, hoping to reach homer-hood as you
have, so that we can beat the Toads. We have much work to do."
Well then. That about sums it up.
Offensive honors for home-runs go to Ron (3 run), Richard (2 run),
Steve (2 run), and Daniel (1 run). Steve really belted his way into the
outfield, getting past the very deep players from the All-Stars.
Richard, Scott, and Daniel managed to get on base every at bat
(minor "I can't believe they dropped it" miracles of C-league defense
being partly responsible). Tony showed some metal clinching a triple
with a close slide in the 4th. Mary, Annette and Becky got 2 hits out
of 3 at bats. The husband and wife duo of Robb and Mary teamed up
to bring in the only run in the critical last inning were we needed to
score to get some breathing room for the defense.
Defensive honors in the game go to a nice 1st inning tag out at home
by a Scott (left)-Richard (SS)-Tony (C) combo, Rob making all
three outs at first in the 5 inning (and Steve and Rich for getting him
the ball!), and Annette made two good catches in the outfield (one in
the crucial 7th inning). Kim made a good stop and throw to Jeff at
first for the last out in the 3rd. Tony as pitcher and a play from Rich at
3rd to Rob at first kept the Acquisition All-Stars (AAS?) down to 2
runs in the 7th so that we could walk away with a victory.
The line score:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 F
HOMERS 6 2 4 2 1 3 1 19
Acq All-Stars 5 1 2 2 4 1 2 17
The players:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Jeff OF 1B 1B - OF C -
Scott OF C OF - C OF -
Ron P SS 3B P - 3B C
Annette OF - OF - OF - OF
Rich 1B 3B - 1B 3B - 3B
Richard SS OF OF - OF SS OF
Daniel - OF - C - OF -
Kim 2B 2B - 2B 2B - 2B
Andres OF - C OF - P OF
Tony C - P OF P - P
Steve - P SS SS SS - SS
Becky 3B - OF OF - OF -
Robb - - - 3B 1B 1B 1B
Sheila - OF - - OF 2B -
Mary - OF 2B OF - OF OF
Sue -- Field Manager ---
Spectators: Scott, Alisa (sp?), Eric, Haley, Cosita
The next game is Monday, Jul 19: H9 @ Goat Scouts. See you
then. Let Richard or Jeff know if you can't make it.
From: Sheila Ganino <stakganino@earthlink.net>
Richard: "The game is moving so slow, I'm going crazy!"
Funny kid in the hari krishna robe: "Do not think of it as the game moving
slowly but instead you moving so fast"
Richard: "Oh, then, in that case, I should be able to make it to 2nd..."
Recovering from some ill-advised baserunning early on, the Homers pulled off
another victory against the Crawdads, blowing open a close game with a huge
4th inning, scoring 9 runs to create a comfortable lead. During the
remainder of the game, all efforts to kill the opposing pitcher went
unrealized but surprisingly the homers played excellent defense, holding the
Crawdads to zero runs in the final three, to secure a 22 to 12 victory.
The game wasn't all easy going as tensions ran high in the early going,
supposedly due to the pace of the contest. However, order was restored when
a monster shot by Tony (yes, I did take over for Sheila on this report) in
the 4th sparked the furious 9-run rally. With happiness again present on
the sideline, it became obvious the true culprit of this Homer's earlier
dismay was simply the score differential.
Defensive honors in the game go to Ron and Rob who posted ERA's of 1.0 and
0.0 (per inning -- this is softball!) and Becky who nearly turned a double
play from 3rd. On the flip side, Steve posted a 63.0 ERA (for him, he gets
the baseball version) and Rich, who decided to catch Becky's double play
throw on his way to the pitcher's mound.
Offensively, it seemed like everyone was getting some good hits out there.
Home runs were hit by Scott (1 run), Ron (3 run), and Tony (2 run).
The line score:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 F
Crawdads 0 7 3 2 0 0 0 12
HOMERS 3 3 3 9 3 1 - 22
The players:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Jeff RC RC RC C - RC -
Ron P LF P - LF P -
Rich B. 1B 1B 1B - 1B 1B 1B
Sheila 2B 2B - RF 2B 2B 2B
Richard LC LC LC - LC SS -
Tony SS SS - P SS - SS
Joe LF - LF LF - LF LF
Becky 3B 3B 2B 3B - 3B 3B
Daniel - - - RC - - RF
Scott - C - 1B - LC -
Andres C - C 2B C - C
Annette RF RF RF - RF RF -
Steve - P SS SS 3B - LC
Robb - - - - P C P
Mary - - 3B LC RC - RC
Spectators: Eric, Haley, Alyssa, Cosita
The next game is against the Acquisition All-Stars on Thursday. See you then.
24 June 2004: Running Dogs of NASA 15, Homers 18
From: Andres Castano <andres.castano@jpl.nasa.gov>
This year the Runnings Dogs of NASA was the team lucky enough
to play the Homers on the day that the most anticipated event of
the season, the Homer's BBQ, took place. This settled the bets at
Vegas and caused mutinies in other various teams that claimed that
their captains should have done more to secure a game
against the Homers on this special day. Chicken, meat, salad and - yum -
cookies were the order of the day after a triumphant Homer team
retired from the field. With a score of 15-to-18 the Homers started
to lick their wounds after last week's humiliating defeat to the
overgrown tadpoles. The offensive play
of the day belongs to the homerun of Tony in the 1st pushing in
two additional runs. On the defense, it is time to point out the
consistency of Rich on 1st: 1 unassisted and 8 assisted outs plus 1 assistance,
and this includes the defensive play of the game, the Robb-Steve-Rich
double play in the 7th that closed the game.
Here are some pictures focusing on the early days of the next
generation of Homers, their moms and, of course, the BBQ.. thank you, guys!
Annette and Eric, who is most likely to be rookie of year, 2021.
| 
Sheila and Haley, probably a strong SS if she takes after dad.
| 
Alyssa (already a rookie of the year) and Eric
| 
Becky and Cosita, who looks after the safety of the team (whenever she
is awake)
|
Quatermaster Richard ready to enjoy the food
| 
Scott (and Jeff and Scott S.).. the food was great.. thanks for cooking.
| 
Alright.. food.. Sue, Mary, Ron, Joe and Sheila, first in line to enjoy
the goods.
| 
Andres after explaining to a dissapointed Cosita that BBQs are not for
pups.
|
Home runs were hit by Tony in the 1st and Daniel and Ron in the 3rd.
The line score:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Dogs 4 0 0 6 0 5 0 15
HOMERS 6 4 2 0 5 1 X 18
The players:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Sheila -- -- -- -- -- -- 2B
Jeff OF RF RF C -- -- --
Richard OF LC LC RC -- LC LC
Rich 1B 1B -- 1B 1B 1B 1B
Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B --
Daniel -- -- -- -- C -- --
Ron P LF P -- LC P LF
Tony SS SS -- P SS 3B --
Becky 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B -- 3B
Joe OF -- LF LF LF LF --
Annette OF RC RC RF -- RF RF
Scott M C -- 1B -- -- -- --
Andres -- C C LC RF -- C
Steve -- P SS SS -- SS SS
Mary -- -- -- -- RC RC RC
Robb -- -- -- -- P C P
Sue <-- Field Manager -->
Spectators: Scott S., Alyssa, Eric, Haley, Cosita
The players and spectators were joined at the BBQ by the Running Dogs of
NASA, Don Calkins, Tanne/Frank/Madeline Picha, Laurie Tsao, John Chang,
Lanny and Yenni Goliman, Earl Higa and Emily.
Quartermaster Richard says: thanks to everyone for coming, especially to the
contributors: Sheila (salad), Annette (macaroni salad), Kim (cookies),
Jeff (bbq & table & grunt work), Scott M (beer & grunt work), Scott S (grunt
work), and everyone else who offered or cleaned up or what not. We're like
a BBQ machine now, and it's simply a pleasure to be out there with everyone.
The next game is against the Crawdads on Wednesday. See you then.
15 June 2004: Homers 21, Voodoo Toad Fury 31
From: Rich Benesh <richard.benesh@jpl.nasa.gov>
"YOU HAVE FAILED!", bellowed M. Homer at the cowering Richard and Jeff.
"I provide you the best C-League softball team JPL can afford and you
LOST to the Toads???"
Richard: "How .... how did you know?"
M. Homer: "I can hear the croaking at CCB from here - it's horrible!
Tell me why you shouldn't join Phil Jackson on the BBQ spit? He only
lost the NBA title - you lost to the TOADS!!!!"
Thinking quickly, Jeff retorted: "Well, Richard didn't throw one ball
into the street the entire game!".
At this, M. Homer seemed to get confused, with Richard and Jeff quickly
making their escape, but not before Richard stopped for a souvenir.
All of this as a result of the Homers 31-21 loss to our arch-enemies,
the Toads.
The Homers actually led this game 13-7 after 3 1/2 innings, and turned
some early defensive gems, with Annette making a great catch in
rightfield to end the 1st inning, and Steve cutting off a throw from
Richard and firing a perfect strike to Rich at first to catch a
wandering Toad in the 2nd inning. Later, Richard threw out a Toad at
the plate, with Rob applying the tag after feverishly praying that Steve
wouldn't cut the
throw off (Steve couldn't -- as usual, the throw was too high!), Kim
made a nice stab of a hard grounder and threw to second base for the
force, and Tony turned a doubleplay on a grounder to shortstop.
There were also great bodily sacrifices made during this game by Robb
(diving in a failed attempt to catch a foul ball off first) and Daniel
(landing on his back while fielding a single, and managing to make a
good throw to 2nd base from flat on his back).
Offensively, Tony and Rich each hit 2-run homers, while Steve
contributed a solo shot. Joe and Andres went 3 for 3, while Mary and
Annette went 2 for 3.
However, the worm turned, and unfortunately, pretty much everyone on the
team contributed to the Homer defensive collapse during the 4th,5th, and
6th innings when the Toads scored 23 runs.
The gory details:
1 2 3 4 5 6
Jeff RC C RC RC -- RC
Ron P SS LF P -- P
Rich 1B 1B -- 1B 1B 1B
Kim 2B 2B 2B -- 2B 2B
Richard LC LC LC -- LC LC
Joe LF LF -- LF LF LF
Annette RF -- RF RF -- RF
Andres C -- C C -- C
Tony SS -- SS SS SS SS
Sheila -- RF -- -- RF --
Steve -- P P LC P --
Daniel -- LC -- -- LC --
Becky 3B 3B -- 2B 3B --
Robb -- -- 1B -- C --
Mary -- -- 3B 3B -- 3B
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
HOMERS 1 5 1 6 3 3 2 -- 21
Toads 1 6 1 7 6 10 x -- 31
Spectators: Scott S. and the children.
Acting field manager: Scott M.
Dinner at Round Table - Scott M. Scott S. Jeff, Ron, Rich,
Kim, Richard, Joe, Annette, Daniel, Robb
Reminder: Next week's game is Thursday, June 24th at H7 vs The
Running Dogs of NASA. It's also the annual Homers BBQ - let
Richard/Jeff know if you're coming.
(Is that REALLY carne asada on the Homers BBQ grill???)
From: Rebecca Castano <rebecca.castano@jpl.nasa.gov>
The Homers went conservative this week with one of their better defensive
games of the year against the KIDS. The game was marked by few errors by
the Homers. The KIDS were held scoreless in four innings and in offensive
check in all innings but the one pitched by Richard. Some of the
highlights (focusing on the positive) were a very nice catch by Tony behind
second when he raced to get under a pop up; several solid catches by
Annette in right field; Joe also was very solid in the outfield catching
fly balls both in right center and left field; and a very impressive
double play in which Rich caught a line drive and Steve made it over to
cover first to end the game. Although as a pitcher, Richard let the
scores come in, he was all over the infield backing up wherever it was
needed. In the last inning he did get excited and tried to hit a runner
from the outfield. Fortunately, he missed.
With Sue absent, Scott, with help from Ron and Scott M., had to perform
field manager duties. This went relatively smoothly, although confusion
with the juggling of mothers and their duties once or twice temporarily
resulted in two women and eight men on the field.
While the offense was not quite as strong as the Homers' defense, it was
solid and
adequate for the win. Home runs were belted by Richard (2 -one excellent
hit and one fortuitous bounce), Ron and Andres.
Line Score:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
HOMERS 2 2 5 3 4 4 0 20
KIDS 0 0 3 0 7 0 2 12
The players:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Jeff LF RC RC LC -- LC RC
Ron P LC SS -- LC -- LF
Richard LC SS LC -- P SS LC
Annette RF -- 2B -- RF -- 2B
Rich 1B 1B 1B -- 1B 1B 1B
Tony -- -- P SS SS P SS
Daniel -- LF -- RC -- RC --
Kim 2B 2B -- 2B 2B 2B --
Andres C -- C C C C --
Joe RC -- LF LF LF LF --
Steve SS P -- P RC -- P
Becky 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B
Scott -- C -- 1B -- -- C
Sheila xx RF -- -- -- -- --
Mary xx xx RF RF -- RF RF
Spectators included: Scott S., Eric, Alyssa, Haley, and Cosita
Celebrating the Homers victory at Round Table in spite of the poor Lakers
performance were
Kim, Scott, Steve, Ron, Joe, Richard, Scott M., Jeff, Andres, Becky and Rich.
**********
Richard announces that this year's Homer barbecue will be held after the
June 24 game against the Running Dogs of NASA. If you're getting this email
and you're not a regular, you're invited, but please let Richard know if
you'll be coming.
***********
The HOMERS next game is Tuesday, June 15 against the Toads. Please let
Richard or Jeff know if you will not be able to make the game.
02 June 2004: Wild Turkeys 16, Homers 22
From: Sue Kientz <sue.kienz@jpl.nasa.gov>
I'm sure you are waiting with bated breath wondering, will he do it? CAN he
do it? A triple crown, after all this time?? The betting is heating up in
Vegas, Atlantic City, Laughlin, Reno!
He's sleek, he's fast, but... wait... he has no confidence. Yes, folks, it
does not look good! Reports are that at a recent important trial he was
down, out, and even heard to complain, "I got nothin'! I got nothin'!!!"
Huh? Oh, no, I'm not talking about Smarty Jones! I'm talking about Smarty
Chen! Our own Richard, whose rallying cry at the last HOMER game was,
"Better than me!!"
Well, whatever works. Despite these wailings and gnashing of teeth, the
other HOMERS saw to it that Thanksgiving would come early this year, as
they gobbled the Wild Turkeys up with a final score of 22-16 on another
beautiful day in Paradise, er, Pasadena.
The HOMERS were pretty offensive (is this why we're so hated?) in the third
and fifth innings, scoring 9 and 5 runs respectively, in answer to 5-run
innings by the Turks. Homers were homered by Tony (a 3-run and 2-run), Ron
(2-run), and Steve (solo). By the fourth inning, the other team was
(literally) at our mercy (rule). Sheila is now back, too, and provided two
base hits that kept those 3rd and 5th innings going. Welcome back, Mommy!
Defensively, I would not be able to bear the bitching if I didn't mention
Ron's stellar three no-run innings in the 1st, 2nd, and 4th. Ron helped
himself by getting some of those outs. Steve and Rich combined for a double
play in the second. Kim put in a solid performance at 2B, getting the third
outs in the 3rd and 4th by throwing to first. Becky protected third well
and got a few key outs. Rich was a vacuum cleaner at first which also
helped everyone stop the runners before they even began. Andres provided
the game-ending out by catching a popup at the plate.
The line score:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Total
Turkeys 0 0 5 0 5 4 2 16
Homers 1 2 9 3 5 2 - 22
The Defense:
Jeff of of of of of of --
Ron p p of p of -- ss
Richard of of of of -- of of
Kim 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b
Rich 1b 1b 1b 1b -- 1b 1b
Andres c c c -- c c c
Joe of of -- of of of --
Becky 3b 3b 3b 3b 3b 3b 3b
Tony ss -- p ss ss ss ss
Steve -- ss ss -- p p of
Scott -- -- -- c 1b -- of
Sheila -- rv -- -- -- -- --
Sue ---- Field Manager -----
The DOH! Award this week (even considering Richard's verbal self flogging)
goes to Joe Jacob, nominated by Rich, who pointed out how he scored from
first on Joe's double in the 6th. DOH! (In Joe's defense, he went 4 for 4)
The postgame dinner was at Crown City and attended by Rich, Scott M, Robb,
Richard, Kim, Scott S, Sue, Ron, Joe, Jeff, Becky, and Andres, with a guest
appearance by Charlie K and his toadies.
The next Homers game is Tuesday, June 10, against the K.I.D.S. As usual,
please let Jeff or Richard know if you are unable to participate.
Sue Kientz
http://eis.jpl.nasa.gov/~skientz/
Home of Little Rock from Mars, the Adventures of
Spacecraft Galileo, and Spacecraft Cassini is Visiting Saturn!
27 May 2004: Homers 28, Cinco Equis 8
From: Kim Steadman <kimberly.b.steadman@jpl.nasa.gov>
At the end of the first inning, the Homers trailed the Cinco Equis
4-1. It looked like it would be a close game, then came the Homer hit
parade. Every Homer got at least two hits. Ron (2), Rich (1), Steve (1),
and Becky (1) provided the power by hitting home runs. After the dust had
settled, the Homers could celebrate their biggest win of the year with a
final score of 28-8.
On the defensive side, the Homers played pretty well. The 6th inning was
the "all-Richard inning". Backed up by Rich's superb play at first base,
Richard got all three runners out. Tony made a great tag on a runner at
home on a throw from Rich to finish off a double play in the 3rd
inning. The game finished with the Homers getting the first 3 Cinco
batters out in the bottom of the seventh inning.
Jeff OF OF OF OF OF OF X
Ron SS P P P OF X OF
Richard OF OF OF OF P SS SS
Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Rich 1B 1B 1B 1B X 1B 3B
Joe OF OF OF X OF OF OF
Andres C C X C C C C
Becky 3B 3B 3B OF 3B OF OF
Tony P X C 3B 1B 3B P
Steve X SS SS SS SS P 1B
Mary OF OF OF OF OF OF OF
Sue --------- field manager --------
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Homer 1 6 3 6 2 1 9 28
Cinco Equis 4 0 1 0 3 0 0 8
Spectators cheering the Homers to victory were Sheila, Alyssa, and Haley.
Dinner was at Georgees and was attended by Jeff, Scott S., Ron, Richard,
Joe, Kim, Andres, Becky, Steve, and Robb.
Next week's game is on Wednesday. Please let Richard or Jeff know if you
can't make it.
Jeff, Scott S., Ron, Richard, Rich, Joe, Kim, Sheila, Alyssa, Haley,
Andres, Becky, Sue, Tony, Mary, Steve
17 May 2004: Homers 17, Paper Tigers 12
From: Mary Wittman <mew@ipac.caltech.edu>
From Warren/Wittman Productions (and you thought they were just for
parties?).
Researchers have recently uncovered evidence that dates baseball to the late
18th century in Massachusetts, far earlier than previously thought. Being
an inquisitive sort, I thus began to wonder about the Homer's past, and
began combing historical writings and documents looking for previously
uncovered evidence of Homer exploits and adventures. Just when I was about
to turn this activity over to Homer Historian Ron, I uncovered a draft of a
speech that would eventually be re-written (I'm not completely sure why),
and would become almost as famous as the Homer's themselves. I have
included it here for your perusal. (Note: I have added a few parenthetical
comments to provide some historical clarity).
Circa: late 1863, a small softball field on the outskirts of Gettysburg, Pa.
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent
new babies, conceived in liberty (apparently a small town on the East
coast), and dedicated to the proposition that all men (note: I realize this
would be considered sexist by today's standards, but hey, this was the 19th
century) are created to become Homers. Now we are engaged in a great
softball season, testing whether that team or any team so conceived (that
would have been in Liberty) and so dedicated can long remain undefeated. We
are met on a great softball field of that season. We have come to dedicate a
portion of that softball field as a final resting-place for those who here
gave their lives that that team might live (our predecessors were obviously
far more serious than we are). It is altogether fitting and proper that we
should do this, and then go drink beer at Crown City. But in a larger sense,
we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground,
because it has been chewed up by swap meet parking. The brave men (yes, and
women), living and dead who struggled here have consecrated it far above our
mighty home run power. The world will little note nor long remember what we
say here (probably due to the Crown City comment above), but it can never
forget what they did here. It is for us the living rather to be dedicated
here to the unfinished games which they who played here have thus far so
nobly advanced (the runner). It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the
great task remaining before us-to forever beat the TOADS, and that from
these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they
gave the last full measure of devotion--that we here highly resolve that
these dead shall not have been thrown out in vain, that this team under
Richard and Jeff shall have a new birth of freedom, and that team of the
people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the C League.
Given the historical perspective in which they were placed, the current
instantiation of the Homers went on to defeat the Paper Tigers, 17-12.
Mighty homerun power was supplied as usual by the 3 R's, (Richard, Rich, and
Robb). Richard and Robb were also 4 for 4 at the plate.... Steve was not.
The Homer defense, although not spectacular, was relatively solid,
particularly in light of playing short handed. Tony anchored the infield at
short, but seemed unable to reach the street with his throws. Joe anchored
the outfield, albeit mostly from foul ground while chasing balls. The
Homers briefly even looked like a real softball team when Rich fielded the
ball behind first, and underhanded the ball to Steve covering at first. In
his first appearance of the season, Scott made a running, jumping catch in
center. Holly appeared in the nick of time to allow the Homers to field a
complete team, at least for the first five innings. Sue saved the day with
a couple of hits and 2 RBI's.
Ron of p of 3b p p p
Richard of of ss of - - -
Jeff c of c - c of of
Sue 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b c c
Rich 1b c 3b c - - -
Joe of of of of of of of
Tony ss ss - ss ss ss ss
Marv 3b of of of of 2b 2b
Steve p - p p - - -
Scott - - - - of of of
Robb - 3b of of 3b 3b 3b
Holly - 1b 1b 1b 1b 1b 1b
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Total
Homers 4 3 0 5 3 2 0 17
Paper Tigers 4 0 1 0 4 0 3 12
Post game festivities were conducted at Round Table. Full dinner points
were awarded to Scott, Ron, Sue, Jeff, Joe, and Robb. .001 points were
awarded to Richard, Steve, and Rich. Our next game is Thursday, 05/27. As
usual, let Reff or Jichard know if you are not available.
10 May 2004: Fringes 17, Homers 19
From the HOMERS Report special foreign correspondent (Mark Chatillon
<mchatillon@anbe.cdscc.nasa.gov>)
In cricket of a social kind, players spend longer sessions in the
field than at softball. Therefore they mark where they are fielding
on the oval with small piles of (generally empty) "tinnies". There
are two sets of tinnies for each fielder as they change location
every "over". Of course this is not the case for the "wicky" who is
the only one to wear gloves, so typically he/she is the only non
drinker on the team! If there are a significant number of "worm
burners" hit, often a pile of tinnies would get in the way sometimes
causing mayhem and of course devastation if a full one should go down!
Time prevents a full explanation of the intricacies of the game
however the batting side has 11 players who are in until 10 of them
are out! Then they swap roles. The game is played on an "oval" that
can actually be circular as well, and as there is no foul lines, the
whole field is in play. Two "weavers of the willow" bat at a time
and runs are scored by both batsmen reaching the opposite end of the
"pitch" safely (1 run); or by scoring a boundary 4 or 6. The batsmen
can be out by being bowled (sometimes known as the "death rattle" as
the "cherry" cannons into the "stumps"), caught, run out (either of
them but not both), stumped (caught out of the "crease" attempting to
hit the ball by the "wicky" who knocks the "stumps" over), hit wicket
(batsman hits his stumps in playing a shot), mankaded, (sprung by the
bowler for starting a run too early), or out for not reaching the
crease within 2 minutes, (not enforced if a "tinny" is partly
consumed).
The fielding side sets a field based on their bowlers skills and the
batsmen's skills with an attacking fast bowler usually demanding 3 or
4 "slippers" who fan out beside the "wicky", whilst a tweaker might
have just a slip or two and the rest spread out for a catch. The
"cherry" is bowled generally so it pitches or lands some 5 yards
short of the batsman for a fast bowler. This is known as a "good
length". Shorter pitched deliveries fly past the batsman at head
height known as a "bouncer". These are often "hooked" away for a 4
or 6 by the better batsmen. "Tweakers" tend to pitch the ball up a
bit more relying on "drift" and "turn" off the "wicket" to beat the
bat.
By now you might be "up the creek without the proverbial paddle in a
barbed wire canoe" so we will get on to the game report...
It wasn't quite a cricket match, but the HOMERS managed to keep their
winning streak alive:
Fringes 3 0 1 1 5 1 6 17
HOMERS 12 1 1 3 2 0 x 19
Richard OF OF OF OF xx OF MOn
Ron B MOn OF xx MOf B SL
Jeff MOf W MOf xx OF OF OF
Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B xx
Mark OF OF OF xx OF xx OF
Joe OF OF xx OF OF OF xx
Tony MOn xx B MOn B MOn xx
Annette OF OF OF xx OF xx OF
Andres W xx W W W xx W
Steve xx B MOn B MOn xx B
Robb -- MOf xx MOf xx MOf MOf
Becky SL SL SL SL xx SL OF
Daniel xx xx xx OF xx W xx
Mary -- -- -- OF SL OF 2B
Sue -------- Field Manager ---------
Spectators: Scott S., Eric, Sheila, Alyssa, Haley, Cosita, and Dante
The offensive highlights of the game had to include the first inning
where the first 15 HOMERS who game to the plate all got hits. In fact
the HOMERS were well into their second time through the batting order
before being caught in a triple play to end the inning. (Okay, so
maybe that isn't an offensive highlight.) The rest of the game the
HOMERS played well enough to flirt with the mercy rule. Home runs (I
mean boundaries) were hit by Richard (1), Ron (2) , and Steve (2,
including a grand slam in the 1st).
Defensively it was another generally strong outing by the HOMERS.
There were no truly memorable defensive highlights, but it should be
noted that Mark for the second time in his career took a glove out on
the field and "played like a sheila" with it!
Dinner at Crown City Brewery was attended by Richard, Kim, Scott S.,
Ron, Jeff, Daniel, Eric, Mark, Joe, Andres, Becky, Robb, and Mary.
The highlight(?) of dinner was the HOMERS getting the rest of the
customers and staff of CCB (including the Fringes, and a random TOAD
or two) to embarrass Jeff by singing Happy Birthday to him.
Next week's game is on Monday May 17, 2004 against the Paper Tigers
on field H9. We know we may be a little short handed so please make
sure you let Richard or Jeff know if you aren't going to make it.
Australian to American Translator:
4 good base hit
6 a homer
bowler (B) pitcher
bunny specialist bowler when batting, an easy out
cherry the ball
cover right field
deep mid off centre (or center) field
deep mid on left field
gloves catchers mitt
good nut a good ball or pitch
grab catch
mid off (MOf) 1st base approx
mid on (MOn) shortstop approx
no ball an unfair delivery
oval field
over set of 8 fair deliveries
pitch the wicket, rolled hard turf
sheilas females
slippers slips fieldsmen (catch snicks)
snick a ball that flys off the bat edge at a slight angle
square leg (SL) 3rd base approx
stands bleachers
strip wicket
stumped tagged at home
stumps set of wooden sticks that bowlers aim at
tinnies beer (duh!)
tweaker spin bowler
weaver of the willow specialist batsman
wicky (W) catcher
willow bat made of wood
worm burner a ground ball
4 May 2004: Homers 28, Eclectic Eccentrics 22
From: Richard Chen <richard.chen@jpl.nasa.gov>
When out of ideas, plagiarize. Let's play Fact or Fiction
The Homers are old and getting older: Fact.
Of the regulars on the team this year, the last to join is
Andres, who signed up back in 2001 (though this changes should Scott Galloway
make it back for a certain game this year on perhaps, oh, I don't know, maybe
June 15). Rich's return bumped up the average age of the starting lineup by
5 years, and we're still waiting to see Scott Morgan and Robb Warren.
The rest of the league is catching up: Fiction.
The Homers posted another score in the high 20s and may have gotten more
had the game gone all 7. Of course, one reason for the high scores is the
mediocre defense, which keeps teams close and the mercy rule off.
The Homers' advantage is just technological: Fiction.
True, Joe Jacob's bat is the talk of two teams, but some Homers on defense
are known to eschew any hand accoutrements, be they $50, $1200, or free.
The Homers seem to be pissing off God: Fact.
Whether it's for this blasphemy, or for stringing opponents along, or for
expecting to run the table this year, a plague of gnats (rating of 6
on the biblical scale of 1 to 10) descended on the
Homers on Tuesday and the Sharks the day before.
Homers 2 3 8 1 8 6 28
EclecticE 2 1 1 7 7 4 22
Ron P OF P OF 1B OF
Richard SS SS SS SS SS x
Jeff 1B C OF OF x OF
Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Joe OF OF OF x OF OF
Mark OF OF x OF OF x
Tony OF 1B x P OF P
Annette OF OF OF OF OF OF
Rich x x 1B x x 1B
Andres C x C C C C
Steve x P OF 1B P SS
Becky 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B
Sue --field manager--
Daniel came ready to play but couldn't break the tackle of 34-pound
future NFLer Eric. Scott Steadman also came out to enjoy the warm day.
Both did make the pleasant patio dinner at Dona Rosa's, which seriously
needs parking.
As for game highlights, the drive-for-show aspect of the Homer offense
came from 7 homers that drove in 18 runs.
Ron's 3-run home run in the second put the
Homers on top for good, while Steve's grand slam to left in the third
pushed the margin to a comfortable 9. After the Eccentrics closed
the gap to 14-11, Rich and Richard each hit three-run home runs to put
the mercy rule back on. Our opponents came back with another 7 to
close to 4, but Steve's 2-run shot well over the LCF's head highlighted
the final 6-run inning. Though Richard had two more home runs
(with 0 and 1 on, both
to right), the hardest hit of the day may have been Tony's single up the
middle that nearly decapitated pitcher Zach Isaacs. Putting for dough:
Jeff, Tony, and Andres all went 4 for 4. (soapbox on: not making outs is the
true key to scoring a lot of runs, but then this team's not called
the Singles, except at Scores)
Defensively, the biggest play of the day was a 4-6-3 double play with
two runners on and none out in the second on Melissa English's hard grounder
off Kim's shin. However, Kim stuck with it and threw to Richard covering 2B
for a force, then Richard gunned it head high to Tony. After that play,
the Eccentrics couldn't quite keep pace the rest of the game, though they
did keep battling back.
Joe also had a number of good catches in left off some strong hitters, the
best of which was an ankle-high catch of Cris Windoffer's liner in the fifth.
Next week's game is on Monday against the Fringes. For that game, home runs
shall be dubbed "Freedom Runs" in honor of the opposing manager's
nationality. Regulars, please let Jeff or Richard know if you won't be there.
28 April 2004: Deep Space Cadets 28, Homers 29
From: Joseph C Jacob <joseph.c.jacob@jpl.nasa.gov>
Despite recording 7 homeruns and leading by 12 after 4
innings, the Homers barely edged out the Deep Space Cadets by a score
of 29 to 28. Homeruns were hit by Richard(2), Tony(2), Steve(2), and
Joe(1). Richard's game ending shot deep down the left field line
would have been his third homerun in the game, but Homers judges ruled
it didn't count because officially the game ended when the first
runner on base (Ron [correction: Jeff]) crossed home plate to put the Homers
up by 1 in
the bottom of the last inning. Coincidentally, Joe hit another Homer,
but probably doesn't earn Homer points for it because unfortunately it
happened the Saturday after the game, was a "Homer" instead of a
"homer", and involved a golf ball colliding with Jeff's head
(miraculously he was relatively uninjured). The defensive highlight
of the game was an unassisted double play by Tony in the 3rd inning.
The Homers completely fell apart in the 5th inning, but that inning
started with brilliant defense by Kim, who knocked down a hard line
drive with her stomach and made the play at first, and by Jeff, who
made the second out and had a good opportunity to get the third out
early on. After that, the Homers allowed 10 runs to score before
Annette mercifully ended the inning by catching a towering fly ball in
left center.
Line Score:
Inning 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Cadets 2 3 3 5 10 5 X : 28
Homers 0 6 10 9 3 1 X : 29
Defensive Line-up:
Inning 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B X
Jeff 1B X 1B 1B 1B 1B X
Ron P 1B P P OF P X
Richard OF OF OF OF X OF X
Annette OF OF OF OF OF OF X
Mark X OF OF OF OF X X
Andres C C C X C C X
Tony SS P SS X P SS X
Becky OF OF 3B 3B 3B OF X
Joe OF X OF OF OF OF X
Steve 3B SS X SS SS 3B X
Daniel X 3B X C X X X
Sue <--- Field Mgr. --->
Spectators included Eric, [Sheila,] Alyssa, Haley, Scott S., and Cosita.
Dinner at
Round Table was enjoyed by Jeff, Kim, Sue, Ron, Richard, Daniel, Annette, Eric,
Andres [incorrect], Joe, Scott S., Steve, Mark, and Richard's friend, Helen.
The next Homers game is on Tuesday, May 4 against the Eclectic Eccentrics on
field H3. Let Jeff or Richard know if you can't make it.
21 April 2004: L.A. Radars 15, Homers 26
From: Jeffrey W Osman <jeffrey.w.osman@jpl.nasa.gov>
The sports world is a-buzz with the latest gossip and rumors.
No, we are not talking about David Beckham's alleged affairs. Forget
about A-Rod's slow start. Don't even think about what the Supreme
Court might say to Maurice Clarett and the NFL.
What the sports world is really wondering is are the HOMERS over the
hill? After all, they are getting up there in years. This season
marks the HOMERS 14th year in the JPL C-league. Everyone is
wondering: Can the HOMERS be as impressive as they were last season?
Based on first results the answer is YES! A somewhat short handed
HOMERS team was quite impressive in their season opener beating the
L.A. Radars 26-15.
1 2 3 4 5 6
L.A. Radars 1 1 0 4 8 1 15
HOMERS 0 10 3 3 10 x 26
The Radars called the game after 6 innings due to gathering darkness,
dropping temperatures, and a growing need for beer.
The HOMERS line-up:
Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Ron P 3B P SS P P
Jeff 1B 1B OF OF 1B 1B
Richard OF OF SS 1B OF OF
Sue/Becky OF OF 3B 3B OF OF
Tony SS P 1B P -- --
Joe OF OF OF OF OF OF
Andres C C C C C C
Annette/Mary OF OF OF OF 3B 3B
Steve 3B SS OF OF SS SS
Sue ---- Field Manager ---
Fans: Scott S., Eric, and Cosita
Special thanks go to Sue and Annette for playing the first defensive
inning, and to Scott S. for keeping Eric entertained while Annette
was playing.
Tony and Joe got the M. Homer competition off to a quick start by
both hitting 2 home runs. The league is already investigating if
Joe's new bat is legal. Everyone else got at least 1 hit and Ron was
an impressive 5 for 5.
The defense was tight all around, considering how well the Radars
hit. However, the defensive star of the game was Kim with her
impressive play at second base.
Partaking dinner at Round Table after the game were: Sue, Ron, Scott
S., Kim, Andres, Richard, Jeff, Joe, and Steve.
Next week's game is against the Deep Space Cadets on Wednesday, April
28th on field H2. Please let Richard or Jeff know if you aren't going
to make it.
 |
11 Apr 2004: Weighing in at 8 lbs, 6 oz and standing 21 1/2
inches tall, in the pink corner...Haley Elizabeth Ganino was born at
about 5pm on Sunday evening. |
| 30 Jan 2004: Homer Stardom |
 |
History
After each game, she or he who chooses the dinner location writes a
reasonably factual Homers Report:
2003 |
2002 | 2001 |
2000 | 1999 |
1998 | 1997 |
1996 | 1995 |
1994 | 1993 |
1992 | 1991
Ron Baalke provides the following info:
YEAR G* W-L** PCT HR GS R RA HR/G R/G RA/G Comments
1991 17 9-8 .529 32 1 208 221 1.88 12.2 13.0
1992 15 6-9 .400 31 2 188 220 2.07 12.5 14.7 Missing 2 Game Reports
1993 15 11-5-1 .676 30 2 192 165 2.00 12.8 11.0 2 Forfeit Wins
1994 17 12-5 .706 48 2 273 188 2.82 16.1 11.1 Missing 1 Game Report
1995 18 14-4 .778 63 1 303 173 3.50 16.8 9.6
1996 19 14-5 .737 52 3 304 187 2.74 16.0 9.8
1997 19 18-2 .900 68 3 361 203 3.58 19.0 10.7 1 Forfeit Win
1998 16 16-2 .889 81 3 363 189 5.06 22.7 11.8 2 Forfeit Wins
1999 15 12-4 .750 61 2 305 221 4.07 20.3 14.7 1 Forfeit Win
2000 18 15-3 .833 104 1 405 277 5.78 22.5 15.4
2001 17 11-7 .611 69 5 304 237 4.06 17.9 13.9 1 Forfeit Win
2002 15 13-3 .813 52 3 288 181 3.47 19.2 12.1 1 Forfeit Win
2003 14 14-1 .929 49 3 269 177 3.50 19.2 12.6 1 Forfeit Win
Total 215 165-58-1 .739 740 31 3763 2639 3.44 17.5 12.3 9 Forfeit Wins Total
* = Games actually played.
** = Won-loss record may include forfeit games. See comments column.
GS = Grand Slam Home Runs
RA = Opponent's Runs Allowed
Other Baalkeisms:
new records for 2003,
new records for 2002,
new records for 2001,
recap 2000,
new records for 2000,
all-time home run statistics,
all-time records.
Team Song
submitted by Linda Ikami
_------_
/ \ DO RE MI DRINK, by Homer J. Simpson.
| |
| | *ahem* La la la la.... *ahem* LAAAAAAA!!
| __ __)
| / \/ \ DO...... the stuff... that buys me beer
/\/\ (o )o ) RAY..... the guy that sells me beer...
/c \__/ --. ME...... the guy... who drinks the beer
( ) FAR..... a long way to get beer...
\_ _-------' SO...... I'll have another beer...
| / \ LA...... I'll have another beer...
| | '\_______) TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer...
| \_____) That will bring us back to...
|_____ | (Looks into an empty glass)
|_____/\/\
/ \ D'OH!
|
|
Comments? Complaints? Email sent to
richard.chen@jpl.nasa.gov
may get acted upon.
last update:
