Send email to the regular Homers or anyone affiliated with the team. (writers: use the latter for Homers Reports) If you want to get on or off the latter mailing list, click here.
| 1. Apr 20 | Bruisers 5, Homers 19 |
| 2. Apr 26 | Titans 16, Homers 22 |
| 3. May 02 | LA Equis 8, Homers 15 |
| 4. May 19 | Homers 26, Crawdads 15 |
| 5. May 24 | Homers 21, Goat Scouts 30 |
| 6. Jun 08 | Turkeys 10, Homers 16 |
| 7. Jun 15 | Homers 29, Voodoo TOAD Fury 27 |
| 8. Jun 21 | Homers 26, Eclectic Eccentrics 18 |
| 9. Jun 29 | Homers 24, Acquisition Allstars 9 |
| 10. Jul 05 | Homers 26, L.A. Radars 22 |
| 11. Jul 14 | Gravity Fielders 17, Homers 23 |
| 12. Jul 20 | Fringes 9, Homers 10 |
| 13. Jul 26 | Dawgs 22, Homers 15 |
| 14. Aug 04 | Homers 22, Paper Tigers 13 |
| 15. Aug 08 | LA Radars 18, Homers 18 |
| 16. Aug 18 | Goat Scouts 18, Homers 27 |
| 17. Aug 23 | Homers 26, Acquisition Allstars 15 |
| 18. Sep 01 | Voodoo TOAD Fury 21, Homers 15 |
Here's a map to the Rose Bowl fields H9 and H7.
# * 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 $ 1 1 Ron Baalke 3 1 1 2 2 6 2 1 4 1 2 5 1 3 5 3 3 3 1 2 2 Joe Jacob 8 6 8 10 7 6 7 11 5 10 10 10 10 10 8 7 8 1 3 3 Richard Chen 7 5 2 6 5 7 7 3 5 9 4 2 8 5 7 4 1 4 4 Don Calkins 5 3 2 1 4 6 6 2 3 4 5 4 3 1 2 1 5 5 Kim Steadman 2 5 10 1 3 4 4 3 2 7 5 9 6 5 7 11 6 6 Sheila Ganino 13 4 6 6 5 10 8 7 12 12 6 13 12 6 12 14 7 7 Tony Ganino 9 12 8 5 12 9 4 13 11 13 9 1 10 11 6 14 8 9 Steve Broberg 14 13 12 12 12 11 14 13 12 14 13 14 13 14 13 12 9 10 Jeff Osman 4 3 1 1 3 1 2 1 S 6 1 2 2 2 1 1 10 11 Rich Benesh 6 9 7 5 2 S S 12 7 6 3 8 4 S 11 13 11 12 Sue Kientz 3 1 9 2 10 2 1 4 5 1 7 5 3 3 9 12 13 Scott Steadman S S S S S S S S S S S S S s S 13 14 Annette Nasif 7 8 11 9 8 9 8 13 6 9 11 9 9 10 1 14 8 Andres Castano 10 14 7 9 5 15 11 10 8 11 11 11 15 10 16 15 15 Robb Warren S 16 S S 12 13 S 11 S 16 14 15 14 15 16 16 Haley Ganino S S S S S S S S S S S S S S 16 16 Alyssa Ganino S S S S S S S S S S S S S S 16 16 Eric Limonadi S S S S S S S S S S S S S S 19 20 Mary Wittman 15 14 13 13 14 14 13 14 15 S 13 13 14 1 20 21 Scott Morgan 1 6 11 4 4 1 3 8 7 7 1 5 1 21 19 Becky Castano 11 10 10 11 10 8 15 6 12 9 11 11 16 22 22 Daniel Limonadi 12 11 13 9 10 8 S 9 11 12 1 23 23 Mark Chatillon 9 1 24 24 Eric Gama 3 25 25 Tanne Picha 7 26 26 Frank Picha 8 27 27 Charlie Kaczinski 11 28 28 Madeline Picha S 28 28 Barbara Hartley S 28 28 David Munoz S 28 28 Chris Chatillon S 28 28 Emily Broberg S 28 28 Amy Walsh S 28 28 Booth Hartley S 28 - Bob Jennings S 28 28 Jake Wittman S 28 28 Adrian Wittman S
#==current ranking, *==previous ranking, Yes, No, Spectator, Disabled/dead, Late arrival, Early exit
The algorithm to determine the winner:
# * 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 1 1 Ron Baalke + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 2 2 Joe Jacob + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 3 3 Jeff Osman + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 3 3 Sue Kientz + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 5 5 Richard Chen + + + + + - + + + + + + + + + + 6 6 Rich Benesh + + + + - + + + + + + + + + + 7 7 Robb Warren + + + + + + + + + - + + + + 8 8 Scott Steadman + + + + + + + + + - - + + + + 8 8 Kim Steadman + + + + + + + + + - - + + + + 10 10 Scott Morgan + + + + + + + + + + + + 11 11 Becky Castano + + + + + + + - + - + + 12 13 Eric Limonadi + + + - - - + - - + + + + + 12 13 Annette Nasif + + + - - - + - - + + + + + 14 12 Daniel Limonadi + + + + - - + + + + 15 15 Andres Castano + + - - - + - - + - + + + + 16 16 Sheila Ganino - - - - - - + - - + + - - - + 16 16 Tony Ganino - - - - - - + - - + + - - - + 16 16 Steve Broberg - - - - - - - + - - - - + + + 19 19 Haley Ganino - - - - - - + - - + - - - + 19 19 Alyssa Ganino - - - - - - + - - + - - - + 21 21 Don Calkins - - - - - - + - + - - - - - + 22 22 Emily Broberg + + 23 27 Mary Wittman - - - - - - - - + - - + 24 22 Charlie Kaczinski + 24 - Bob Jennings + 24 22 Mark Chatillon + 24 22 David Munoz + 24 22 Chris Chatillon + 29 28 Booth Hartley - 29 28 Amy Walsh - 29 28 Adrian Wittman - 29 28 Eric Gama - 29 28 Barbara Hartley - 29 28 Tanne Picha - 29 28 Jake Wittman - 29 28 Madeline Picha - 29 28 Frank Picha -# current ranking
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 sum
Tony Ganino 1 1 3 2 1 2 1 3 1 1 16
Don Calkins 3 1 2 3 2 1 1 2 15
Richard Chen 3 1 2 1 1 1 2 1 1 1 14
Ron Baalke 1 1 2 1 1 1 1 2 3 13
Joe Jacob 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 7
Steve Broberg 1 2 2 5
Rich Benesh 1 1 2 1 5
Becky Castano 1 1 1 1 4
Daniel Limonadi 1 1 1 3
Frank Picha 1 1
It's been said that a "person's right to express their self ends at the tip of someone else's nose". Well, unfortunately the Toads are not familiar with that phrase and pummeled the Homer's collective schnozz in a sound thrashing and end a good season on a downward note. Nonetheless, as long as no one gets hurt, even a bad game of softball is better than no game of softball. So, even though we played bad and lost, it was a good game nonetheless. It was a game with both memorable and regrettable moments. As we all know, the best defense is having the best offense so I'll start there. Sadly, this is a short list: First, an honorable mention goes to Steve, who clobbered the ball, sending it sailing into deep left field. Unfortunately, the Toad catcher didn't let anyone else know he thought the ball was fair for a few (quite a few) seconds. By the time the ball was officially called fair, the Toad left fielder had run down the ball and threw it in; leaving Steve with a single on what could easily have been a home run. And then there was Tony, the only player worthy of the team name that night, crushed a ball to right field over Charlie's large head for a home run. The guts play of the day, however, belonged to Richard. It started with a weak single to center field that somehow managed to squirt under the center fielder's glove. And Richard, a tough competitor that he is but showing the effects of a brutal softball career, gutted it out and dragged his battered body around the bases fast enough to earn himself a home run.
For the defensive highlights, there were two (all I can remember now) that deserve mention. First, to the untrained eye, Joe Jacob appeared to be daydreaming in left field when a ball was hit over the third baseman's head. We all just stood there and watched for what seemed a reasonable amount of time for Joe to make his move. But there wasn't a twitch out of Joe. The ball got closer and closer and not a move. Then right before the ball hit the ground, Joe went from a complete standstill to full speed in about three feet and snagged the ball before it hit the ground. But by far, the most memorable play of the game was by Mary in right field. No one at first and the Toad batter hit a solid hit to right center. Mary ran to the ball, knocked it down (with the back of her glove) and then picked it up and threw a perfect strike to Richard who was covering second base. The Toad runner made an attempt for second but Richard caught the ball, head down and then waved his glove back and forth and waited to contact a lower appendage of the Toadette coming from first. The Toadette, seeing the waving glove in front of here and with nowhere to go, just slowed down and kind of gave up without actually reaching second base.
Well that's all for the good news but there was one odd play that deserves mention. It started with a Toad batter at the plate. The pitch was launched, the batter swung and the bat grazed the ball which then dribbled forward about a foot or two and stopped. The batter, catcher and pitcher all stood where they were, staring down at the ball that was lying motionless in the grass, as if further travel of the ball was expected. But that was it. The ball had gone as far as it was going to go and the Toad batter, the first to this realization, started running. The catcher, following the lead, pounced on the ball and gave it a mighty heave in the general direction of first base. The ball was still climbing when it skipped off the first basemen's glove with the end result being a Toad double. And this was for a ball who for a ball whose entire flight path was less than two feet in length.
We tried but came up short. It was a good season and thanks to the hospitality of Ron and Sue, we ended with a party and food and entertainment thanks to Tony. Thanks for letting me play.
Line Score:
Inning 1 2 3 4 5 6 Total Toads 1 6 9 1 3 1 21 Homers 2 6 3 0 2 2 15Defensive Line-up:
Inning 1 2 3 4 5 6 Jeff C C x 1B 1B X Don Of Of OF x OF OF Ron P OF OF X OF P Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B x 2B Richard 3B x SS SS X SS Tony SS SS x OF P x Joe OF x OF OF x OF Annette OF OF x OF OF OF Scott OF x x C x x Rich x 3B 3B x 3B 3B Steve X P P P x OF Sheila 1B 1B 1B x 2B 2B Rob x x C 3B C x Mary x x OF OF OF xField Manager: Sue
They were young, they were thin, hungry, studly looking in a baseball kind of way... but looks aren't everything. I mean, look at Richard. No, I don't mean that. Our fearless leader came in LIMPING, scraped, injured... he looked like he'd been run over by a tractor a few times. He hurled pointed, embarrasing invectives at our young and eager adversaries before the game ("You may be YOUNG!! But we're gonna KICK YOUR ASSES!!") -- and yet this man, this shadow of his usual robust self, went four for four and combined with the rest of our HOMER heroes in defeating the young but unlucky Acquisition Allstars, 26-15.
It wasn't an easy win. No, our plucky team had to battle not only an 0-8 deficit right in the first, but extreme and crippling negativity from even the usual supportive spectating husbands. (No names will be mentioned.) After that scoreless first, the HOMERS answered with 13 in the second, and then never looked back.
Offensively, Tony kept us true to our name in the 5th by hitting a 3-run homer which mercied the A-Allstars and ended that inning (and pretty much sewed up the game). That was the second time we mercied them, having done it also in the fourth. Perfect at the plate along with Richard were Jeff (what a year!), Scott M., Annette, Tony, and Mary.
Defensively, Joe, Scott, Annette, and Mary caught some great outfield drives. Richard snagged a hot one at 3rd in the 4th. Sheila was magnificent at 1st, earning praise from the spectating usual first baseman Rich. She even got the out on the A-Allstars secret weapon, an incredibly fast little guy who surprised us in the first inning, getting to third before anyone could blink (if he had Ron Baalke's will, he could have made it to home, easy. Maybe even twice around.. But Tony throwing to Sheila finally cut him down in the fourth.
Other memorable moments (though perhaps only for the spectators) were watching Joe pass Kim at second base (there were claims that her blue shirt looked too much like an Acquisition Allstar jersey), effectively putting him out, and Richard's courageous attempt to stop a towering overthrow to the plate in the first, by throwing his glove straight up in the air. He actually hit and *stopped* the ball, though it was ineffective in getting anyone out.
Sheila 1b 1b - 1b 2b - -
Jeff of of 1b of c - -
Ron 3b 3b p of 3b - -
Richard c - 3b 3b 1b - -
Kim 2b 2b 2b 2b - - -
Joe of of of of of - -
Andres p p c p p - -
Scott of of of - of - -
Annette of - of - of - -
Tony ss ss ss ss ss - -
Daniel - c - c - - -
Mary - of of of of - -
Sue ---- Field Manager ----
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Total
Homers 0 13 1 7 5 - - 26
Acquisition Allstars 8 2 1 4 0 - - 15
Spectators included Eric, Alyssa, Haley, Scott S., and Rich. Dinner Points at Crown City Brewery were garnered by Andres, Joe, Jeff, Ron, Sue, Richard, Eric, Daniel, Annette, Kim, Scott S., Scott M., and a handful of A-Allstars who joined us. The next game is of national importance, against the VOODOO TOAD FURY on Thursday, Sept 1. Let Richard or Jeff know if you can't make it.
The TOADS game is also the last game of the season. Dinner afterwards will be at Ron and Sue's house; hamburgers and hot dogs provided. Questions about dinner, e-mail suekientz@earthlink.net.
you are tuning in to ESPN-54, the "my god man, don't you have better things to do with your life" channel ...
"And now we go to our sports reporter What-Happened-To-All-My-Free-Time for the latest on the Homers vs. Goat Scouts game. So, What-Happened, how are things going out there?"
"Hi Old-Guy-w.-Too-Much-Make-Up-On. Well, I'm here at the much vaunted re-match of the Homers and Goat Scouts... but, I'm a little out of breath... you won't believe this but there are TWO baby T-Rex dinosaurs chasing me around and trying to make me their dinner... so this report will have... whoa, that was a close one... to be a short one. Whew. Oh, and tell the boss I need hazard pay for this kind of stuff!!"
"Ok WH, just the highlights then"
"Ahhhh... sorry, another close one. Here goes - The Homers took the lead in the 1st and never looked back. Ron was on fire and hit 3 homers and a double. Don hit 2, and Daniel and Richard also ate their wheaties and got a homer each. Richard was on fire for the defense and made a few great catches in the 5th inning (and one almost great catch). On the miracle front, we had 2 - Jeff hit to right field. That is correct - RIGHT FIELD... boy I tell ya, anything can happen these days. The next one is a little sketchy 'cause I've been running for dear life almost the entire game so I'm not 100% sure, but, hold on to your handlebars, I don't think Richard threw a single ball into the street the entire game, despite being SS for 5 innings. amazing. brings tears to my eyes. However, Ron apparently took on the Richard persona and threw at least one ball into the street. Shiela did great on first with a bunch of good catches/stops, The Kim & Richard combo got two good outs at 2nd in the 1st... and bless their hearts, Ron and Mary made it to the game and helped out as well with... oh NO! sorry, gotta run, I'll try to get right back to you OG..."
... zoom out to lots of footage of small T-Rex's chasing our poor reporter in the background... after a few minutes, zoom back in.
"Ok, Oh, and - back, BACK!! I'll read a book just DONT EAT ME!!! - sorry. Like I was saying, the goats where a little short handed, apparently many of their good players saw the T-Rex's and thought better of coming to the game... WH signing off."
...
"OG here, poor WH. We wish him the best. Anyway, the stats for the game are below"
The Scoring Inning
1 2 3 4 5 6 Total
Goat Scouts 0 7 5 1 1 4 18
Homers 8 6 3 6 4 skip 27
The Line-Up
Don OF OF OF OF -- OF
Jeff OF OF 1B -- OF OF
Ron 3B 3B P -- OF 3B
Kim 2B 2B 2B -- 2B 2B
Richard SS SS SS -- SS SS
Joe OF OF -- OF OF --
Tony P P -- SS 3B --
Sheila 1B 1B -- 1B 1B 1B
Daniel -- C -- C C C
Andres -- -- C P P --
Scott C -- OF OF -- OF
Annette OF -- OF OF OF --
Robb -- -- 3B 3B -- P
Mary -- OF OF 2B -- OF
Field Manager: Sue
Dinner took place at Round Table. Present where Kim and Scott S, Jeff, Scott M, Rich, Joe, Daniel, Annette, Eric, Rob, Andres, Ron, and Sue.
The next game is Tuesday (TODAY) on some field in the Rose Bowl. Please let Jeff or Richard now if you can't make it.
As the day draws to a close and the opulent full moon shines brightly in the eastern sky, I figured it was time to sit down and write up the Homers eport. The Homers played the Radars last week on August 8th, 2005.
But first... Since current headlines are rampant with stories regarding steroids and the necessity of drug testing, it seems appropriate that the same standards be applied to the Homers. It is apparent by looking at the physiques of current Homer members that steroids are not an issue, however testing still seems in order. Therefore, in lieu of steroid testing, a brief memory test follows:
Which of the attached pictures is reminiscent of a historical Homer medical emergency? (answer at end of report).
|
|
|
|
And now... back to the report. The Radars jumped to a quick start in the top of the first to score 5 runs. However, the Homers accepted the challenge and garnered 8 of their own. The Radars effectively sat out the next inning, while the Homers picked up another 5 runs to lead 13 to 5 by the end of the second inning. The Radars picked up 1 run in the 4th and 4 more in the 5th inning. The Homers not wanting to be out done picked up 3 in the 3rd, and 1 more in the 5th bringing the score to Radars 10, Homers 17. But as the small children ran around the team benches cheering and playing unaware of the score, the Radars donned their rally hats. They came back in the 6th inning with 8 runs to go ahead 18 to 17. It was at this time the Homers reached deep within themselves to dig up one more run to tie the score at 18. This was done thanks to Joe's double and Scott coming up with a very clutch single bringing Joe home. Due to the amount of small children wanting to go home on the Radars, the game ended after 6 innings in a tie. Shelia, I'm sure the little ones liked the fact that you protected them from a foul tip ball that was heading towards the tea party on the sideline.
Homers hitting HR's were Don with 1, Ron with 2, Joe with 1, and my personal favorite... Becky with 1 HR. Way to make us women look good. Oh wait, maybe that's just you lookin' good.
Radars 5 0 0 1 4 8 - 18 Homers 8 5 3 0 1 1 - 18 Tony SS SS SS -- SS -- -- Jeff OF C -- OF OF -- -- Don OF OF -- OF OF -- -- Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B -- Rich 3B 3B -- 3B -- 3B -- Ron P -- 3B SS -- SS -- Richard OF -- OF P -- OF -- Becky OF OF OF OF OF OF -- Joe -- OF OF OF -- OF -- Andres -- P P -- P P -- Scott C -- C -- C -- -- Sheila 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B -- Steve -- OF OF -- OF OF -- Robb -- -- -- C 3B C -- Sue -- Field Manager --
Game spectators were: Haley, Alyssa, Mary , Scott S and Cosita.
Dinner Attendees at Crown City were: Sue, Ron, Becky, Andres, Robb, Scott, Jeff, Kim, Scott S., Steve, Rich, Richard, Joe and Mary.
Correct Answer: Image 1 (Sponge Bob Square Pants) Sponge Bob is forever etched in the minds of Homer faithful who were unfortunate enough to have access to a digitized view of a certain Homer member's wardrobe. The other two pictures are actually roosters in costumes
If you're not going to make the game tonight please let Richard or Jeff know.
Okay, the little one is trying to climb over a chair to get to me, so this is going to be quick. If I don't move fast, she is going to crash into a glass table and then this report will never get done because I'll be in the emergency room. I've just picked her up and moved her for the tenth time..ah, life with a toddler!
When the game began, it looked like the Homers once again were going to be weak at the plate. The hitting quickly turned around, and everyone seemed to do well (from what I remember.it has been four days!). The only highlight I really remember was Tony hitting three home runs. Ron also hit a home run. The other big excitement from the game was when Joe tried out his new technique for picking up girls by hitting them with a softball. When nothing transpired after hitting the Paper Tigers' rover in the hip, Joe decided to quickly change his method. I can't wait to see what today's game brings!
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Total
Homers 1 1 8 2 2 5 3 22
Paper Tigers 4 1 0 0 4 0 4 13
Sheila 1B OF 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B
Jeff OF OF -- C OF C --
Richard OF OF OF -- OF OF OF
Ron P 1B SS -- P -- SS
Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Don OF OF -- OF OF OF --
Tony SS SS -- SS SS -- SS
Joe OF -- OF OF -- OF OF
Becky 3B 3B OF OF OF 3B OF
Andres -- C P P -- P P
Steve -- P OF OF -- OF OF
Robb -- -- 3B 3B 3B -- 3B
Scott C -- C -- C -- C
Field Manager: Sue
Spectators: Alyssa, Haley, Scott, and Cosita (I hope I didn't leave anyone out.)
Dinner took place at Clearman's Red Boat, my second choice, after it was discovered that Fuddruckers in Pasadena had closed. Those in attendance included Richard, Jeff, Joe, Robb, Andres, Becky, Steve, Sue, Ron, Scott, Tony, Sheila, Alyssa, and Haley.
Hopefully you've already contacted Jeff or Richard if you won't be there today.
Yes, it's true that an ancient document was found that supposedly was covered up due to the difficult topic (i.e. a 22-15 loss to the Dawgs) that it described. However, a closer look at this document tells a different story...
Inning 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 F
Dawgs 4 6 1 0 0 9 2 22
Homers 1 0 0 6 3 4 1 15
Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Ron P 3B OF C OF
Richard SS OF SS OF OF
Jeff OF OF OF OF
Becky 1B OF 1B OF OF
Don OF OF OF OF OF
Rich 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B
Joe OF OF OF OF
Sheila OF 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B
Andres C P P C
Tony SS SS P OF P
Mary OF OF 2B OF
Steve P OF SS SS SS
Robb C 3B P
Scott C C OF C
According to the recently unearthed Gospel of Jeff (or in other words, last
season's homer report), the date was July 26 in the year of our lord -- or
at least the year of our fearless leader, Richard -- 2005. The ancient
document told of the earliest beginnings of the Homeric religion and further
detailed the role that the sacred feminine truly played in the development
and success of the Holy Homer Empire. This document told of numerous
important events revolving around the actions of female members of the team.
Decoding the ancient text, it seemed that there were numerous defensive
plays logged by the feminine triumvirate, Kim, Sheila, and Becky, and on the
offensive side, Becky is believed to have contributed a 2B and a 2R HR.
Even though the other male members of the team are written to have provided their own feats -- 2R HR's by Richard and Don, and a solo HR by Joe -- the male dominated leadership still expressed trepidation over how future Homers may view those truly responsible for the success of the team. Threatened by the possible loss of power, the male dominated leadership decided to cover up all information related to the feminine success, most notably by hiding and destroying all evidence of the team member and now believed to be the true force behind the Homers, Mary, the secret companion of Homer Robb. And thus was ushered in a long, dark period in the history of the Homers (or in other words, the off season).
Relying on information learned from the scrolls, it was found that the Mary's final hiding place would be located at the center of the diamond on the field of the Rose (for as we know, the rose is a primary symbol of the Priory of Scion). On this field can be found a perfect cross that is made by lines drawn from first to third base and home plate to second base, which we know is an important symbol of the Ancient Templar's' secret codes. Further at the intersection of this cross lies what is commonly believed to be the "pitcher mound". However, separating the words according to the original text, it is more aptly named the "Pit of Chermond" or the place where the evil Homer patriarchs secretly buried Mary, and thus covering up the true origins of the Homers.
These recent discoveries have happily led to the return of Mary to her proper place in the annals of Homer lore and have brought to light the most important and disturbing coverup in Homer history.
P.S. Something written in backwards flowing text on the ancient parchment described the prophecy of the delivery of a homers report on this date that shall be later than any other in the history of the team.
In the spirit of true journalistic reporting, this accounting is:
Written by someone who did not observe the event.
As told by individuals with a vested interest in the content of the report.
Intended for individuals searching for sensationalism in journalistic reporting.
Please note that sources will NOT be revealed, in spite of existing legislation attempting to force the contrary. With this said, well informed sources reported that the following events definitely occurred during the Homer's 10-9 victory over the Fringes.
Steve made two brilliant (perhaps even diving) catches in left field.
Mary made a brilliant (probably not diving) catch in center field.
Ron's hang time at shortstop reminded many of Michael Jordan (or not).
Sheila found a new home with stellar play at first.
Mary snagged a sharp grounder at third and fed Kim for a force at second (actually saw this one).
Frank's focus on offensive specialization was apparently a model we should
all take note of, being the only Homer to Homer during the game.
Richard deposited at least one ball into the street (OK, so no one
reported this, but it seems a pretty good guess).
And, as an added bonus at no extra charge, here is an excerpt from a report by one of the Homer roving reporters!!!
The Sports List's Top Non-fatal Crash and Burns
1970: Vinko Bogataj, the agony of defeat
1988: Greg Louganis, half-gainer, no-brainer
1992: Gail Devers, first to fifth over the last hurdle.
...and the newest member
2005: Amy Tumminello, belly flop (minus the pool) to first base.
The following sources are definitely not responsible for some of the material detailed above (Steve, Mary, Ron, Sue, Sheila, Richard, Jeff, Rich, Scott).
And now, for what we believe to be a relatively factual depiction of the Homers/Fringes game.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Total
Fringes 0 6 1 0 1 1 0 9
Homers 1 4 2 1 2 0 - 10
Kim 2b 2b 2b -- 2b 2b 2b
Rich 3B 1B 3B 3B 3B 1B 3B
Don OF OF OF OF OF OF OF
Ron P C SS SS -- SS SS
Tanne OF OF -- OF OF OF --
Richard OF OF OF OF OF -- OF
Joe OF OF OF -- OF OF OF
Tony SS P -- P -- -- --
Sheila 1B -- 1B 1B 1B -- 1B
Steve -- SS P OF P P P
Frank -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Scott C -- C C C C C
Marv -- 3B OF 2B -- 3B OF
Sue -- Field Manager --
Spectators consisted Scott S, as well as the two ends of the Homer age spectrum, Alyssa, Haley, and Robb. Dinner points at Crown City Brewery were awarded to Scott M., Scott S, Scott y (in spirit), Sue, Ron, Kim, Jeff, Robb, and Rich. Joe and Richard were awarded points as well, not because they arrived at dinner on time, but just because. Discussion revolved around Joe's suggestion that ALL Homers run a lap in the event of a future Homer loss…. Please direct comments to joseph.jacob@jpl.nasa.gov!!! (Hey, I just report this stuff).
Our next game is Tuesday July 26 vs. the Dawgs... You know the routine.
A 14 run second inning helped to propel the Homers to a 23 to 17 win over the Gravity Fielders, who fielded a small team of 6 men, 1 woman, and 1 speedy 8 (?) year old ringer at 2nd base to keep the aging Homers on their toes.
Offensive highlights included homeruns by Ron, Don(2), Richard(2), and Tony. Ron nearly homered a second time, but was ruled out at home after much debate. On defense, crafty Homers first baseman, Rich, called upon Oscar-quality acting skills to get the out called on a quick toss from Richard on a ball that he just might not have had under complete control. Later, Sheila made a nice toss to Rich to secure a more certain out, and also made a nice play to catch a popup at 2nd base. In the outfield, Joe was was successful on 1 out of 2 shoe string catch opportunities and -- well -- let's just say less successful on the other one. He also caught a hard hit line drive in left field. Daniel made a waist high "football style" catch in right field.
Line Score:
Inning 1 2 3 4 5 6 Gravity Fielders 4 5 6 0 2 0 17 Homers 1 14 3 4 1 X 23Defensive Line-up:
Inning 1 2 3 4 5 6 Sheila 2B 2B 2B RC 2B 2B Jeff C C LC X C RF Ron P 1B X SS RF P Don LC LC X LC LC X Annette RC RC RC 2B RC RC Richard SS RF X P LF X Rich 1B X 1B 1B 1B X Andres LF X C P X C Becky 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B Daniel RF X RF RF X LC Joe X LF LF LF X LF Tony X P P X P X Steve X SS SS X SS 1B Scott Field ManagerEric, Alyssa, and Haley: Spectators
After the game, dinner at Round Table was enjoyed by Jeff, Ron, Don, Annette, Daniel, Eric, Richard, Rich, Andres, Becky, Joe, and Scott (who was disappointed at first that it wasn't at Crown City, but was appeased when he heard that Round Table sells beer too).
The next Homers game is on Wednesday, July 20 against the Fringes on field H7. Let Richard or Jeff know if you can't make it.
Prior to the start of the softball game between the HOMERS and the LA Radars, U2 front man Bono, Bob Geldof, Paul McCartney, and Elton John tried to organize a grand world wide concert event to be known as Live 1. The purpose of Live 1 was to draw world wide attention to the dominance of a single team, the HOMERS, over the rest of the JPL softball C-league. Joined by such celebrities as Brad Pitt, Bill Gates, and Nelson Mandela, the who's who of the rock music world demanded that the HOMERS have mercy on the rest of the league. However, once HOMERS management pointed out that the HOMERS had in fact already lost a game this year Sir Bob Geldof simply replied "Oh. Well then, never mind." and the game went on.
The HOMERS then resumed their dominant ways and beat the LA Radars.
1 2 3 4 5 6 HOMERS 4 10 2 0 6 4 26 LA Radars 4 3 2 0 6 7 22 Annette OF OF OF -- OF 2B Ron P SS 1B -- OF C Jeff OF C -- OF -- -- Richard OF OF OF -- OF SS Becky 3B 3B -- 3B 3B 3B Tony SS P SS OF P OF Andres C OF -- P C P Joe OF -- OF OF OF OF Sheila 2B -- 2B 2B 2B 2B Rich 1B -- 3B C 1B 1B Robb -- 1B C 1B SS -- Steve -- OF P SS -- OF Mary -- 2B OF OF -- OF
Spectators: Alyssa, Haley, Eric, and super-dad Daniel
Offensive highlights included HOMERS by Richard (1), Becky (1), Tony (2), Joe (1), and Rich (1). Jeff was just a home run short of hitting for the cycle. Everyone had a base hit and each of the women in the line-up had at least 2 base hits.
Defensive highlights are harder to remember. Without Sue annotating the score sheet we need to rely on this reporter's less then perfect memory. I remember we got a double play in one inning when someone playing short stop nabbed a line drive and threw to someone else playing first to get the runner who broke for second. The there was that good catch in the outfield by someone. Then, of course, there was that inning when someone playing short stop made 3 overthrows to first base. Wait a minute... I remember now... that was Richard... and that probably wasn't a defensive highlight. Oh. Well then, never mind.
Dinner was held at Round Table and attended by Ron, Jeff, Richard, Tony, Joe, Alyssa, Rich, Sheila, Haley, Daniel, Annette, Eric, and Robb.
Next week's game is on Thursday July 14 against the Gravity Fielders on H9. As usual let Richard or Jeff know if you aren't going to make it.
In an attempt to create interest in a game report for a game that has long passed and wasn't that interesting to begin with, this report will be a combination of past Homer Report writers' styles, with the "authors" of each paragraph being identified at the end of the report.
Inning
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Total
Homers 7 0 3 1 5 4 4 24
Acquisition Allstars 2 2 2 1 1 0 1 9
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Kim 2B 2B -- 2B 2B -- 2B
Jeff OF OF OF -- OF OF C
Don OF OF OF -- OF OF OF
Ron P 3B P OF OF -- P
Annette OF -- OF -- OF -- OF
Richard OF OF OF OF -- OF OF
Tony SS SS -- SS 3B SS 3B
Daniel -- C -- C -- C --
Sheila 3B -- 2B OF -- 2B --
Andres C -- C P P P --
Rich 1B -- 3B 1B C -- 1B
Steve -- P SS 3B SS 3B SS
Mary -- OF -- OF -- OF OF
Becky -- 1B 1B -- 1B 1B --
Field Manager: Sue
Spectators: Eric, Alyssa, Haley, Emily, Scott, Robb and a cameo appearance by Amy Walsh, who sure seemed to be glad she wasn't a Homer anymore.
Dinner, after a long, long wait, was at that Mexican place with the really expensive margaritas. Mijares. Attended by Kim, Scott, Jeff, Ron, Sue, Richard, Rich, Becky, Robb, and Steve & Emily. Author styles:
With the absence of the traditional Homers BBQ - the most sought-after event in the JPL softball C-league - the Homers faced the EE in a high-scoring but mostly uneventful game. The EE distinguished themselves by a highturnover of players even during the game and the almost total absence of the female touch. On the Homers side, the play of the game goes to the Steve-Becky double play. The return of Don to the Homers has increased the number of heavy hitters one more notch which compensates for the lately-often-commented lack of young blood. I dissent, of course, as we have a number of up-and-coming new players: Alyssa, Eric and Hayley. They can bring down the average age in a rush. There are also rumors that Dan could rejoin the Homers when Eric grows up and Cosita's training as backup catcher is progressing satisfactorily (Cosita is only 3.. that should help). BTW, is there a minimum-age or player-species rule for C-league softball?
Here are some pictures focusing on the new generation of homers
 The game from the point of view of the field manager. |  The kids enjoying the "Hoyle's guide to better Softball". |  Tony explaining the mechanics of throwing to Hayley |  Dan has always believed that pull-ups are the best way to develop upper body strength, needed to tackle oppenents effectively |
Home runs were hit by Don in the 1st and 4th, Richard in the 1st, Ron in the 2nd, Steve in the 4th and 6th, and - oh surprise - Becky in the 5th.
The line score:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
HOMERS 4 7 2 4 3 6 X 26
Ecclectic Ecc. 1 4 5 3 2 2 X 18
The players:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Kim 2B 2B 2B -- 2B 2B --
Jeff C OF C -- C C --
Ron P P OF -- 3B 3B --
Don OF OF -- OF OF OF --
Sheila OF -- OF OF OF -- --
Richard SS OF -- P SS OF --
Mark OF -- OF OF OF OF --
Daniel 3B -- -- -- -- -- --
Becky 1B 1B -- 1B 1B 1B --
Joe OF -- OF OF OF -- --
Tony -- SS 1B 3B P SS --
Annette -- OF 3B 2B -- OF --
Steve -- 3B SS SS -- -- --
Andres -- C P C -- P --
Sue <-- Field Manager -->
Spectators: Scott S., Rich, Chris, Alyssa, Eric, Hayley, Cosita
The celebration of the victory at Crown City took place in the presence of Joe, Ron, Sue, Scott S., Kim, Don, Jeff, Rich, Mark and Chris, Becky and Andres.
The next game is against the Acquisition Allstars on Wednesday. See you then.
"Man's highest joy is in victory: to conquer one's enemies, to pursue them, to deprive them of their possessions, to make their beloved weep, to ride on their horses, and to embrace their daughters and wives" - Genghis Khan
"Toads suck" - Homer Beavis
In a fun, fun, back-and-forth game, the Homers held on for a 29-27 win over the Toads, the Toads' first loss since 2003. Both sides hit great, as evidenced by the football score. But, as this is the Homers' Report, you'll have to read the Toads' Report for that side's highlights.
The play of the day was the two-run homer, as Richard and Ron hit two, while Don and Joe hit one each. Ron's first opened the scoring, while Richard's first ended the first inning by mercy rule. Don's homer came with two out in the 5th, and Joe's, in the 7th, provided the final margin of victory. Daniel also added a solo homer in the first that went deep to left.
Besides the home runs, other offensive highlights included:
Defensively, the Homers made enough plays to squelch Toad rallies.
With this win, the Homers improve their all-time record against their archrivals to 8 wins, 14 losses. The teams have played almost evenly since 1997.
Homers 11 1 1 5 4 5 2 29 Toads 2 6 3 6 0 3 7 27 Jeff RF RF RF RF C C C Ron 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B Richard SS SS SS SS SS SS SS Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B Daniel C C C C RF RF RF Don LC LC LC LC LC LC LC Joe LF LF LF LF LF LF LF Annette RC RC RC RC RC RC RC Steve P P P P P P P Becky 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B Sue --- fieldManager ---Spectators: Scott S, Eric, Rich. Poor Charlie wishes he had a field manager with 15 players showing up for his team. Everyone except Pilates Don and basketball Steve went to dinner at Round Table.
Next week's game is Tuesday, June 21, against the Eclectic Eccentrics. Please let Jeff or Richard know if you can't make it. Let's try to avoid a comedown.
Homers defeat Wild Turkeys
The Homers held on to a lead generated in the first inning with a strong offensive and defensive start to the game to vanquish the Wild Turkeys. In the first inning the Homers batted around. Although the team as a whole showed little offense for the remainder of the game, Rich and Don were offensive juggernauts. Rich had two three-run homers in the first inning and a triple on his only other at-bat. Don had a home run on all three of his at-bats. Rich had the RBI edge, mainly because he batted just before Don and kept clearing the bases. Don's two run homer came after Rich's triple.
Defensively, the Homers held strong for most of the game, showing a little softness towards the end. It took three innings until the Turkeys could get a runner to second base. It was not an especially busy day in the outfield (next week will be another story), although Don and Joe took care of business when balls came their way. Thankfully, Robb was playing first when Richard was at short stop. This combination led to two outs in the third inning. At pitcher in the sixth inning, Andres enhanced spectator value by catching a fly while appearing to be falling backwards. Finally, given a second chance in the seventh, Kim closed out the game, securely catching a pop-up.
Dinner at Georgee's was attended by Ron, Richard, Jeff, Joe, Becky, Sue, Scott S., Kim, and Robb.
The Homer's next game is Wednesday, June 15 against the Toads. You should already have let Jeff or Richard know if you cannot attend. If you haven't, please let them know as soon as possible.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 F
Turkeys 0 0 0 2 1 3 4 10
Homers 12 1 0 0 0 3 X 16
Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Jeff C C OF C - C OF
Rich 3B 3B 3B 1B - 3B -
Don OF OF OF - OF OF OF
Annette OF OF OF OF OF - C
Richard OF OF SS - P OF -
Ron SS SS - SS SS SS P
Becky 1B 1B OF OF OF 1B 1B
Andres P - C P C P -
Steve - P P OF 1B - SS
Robb - - 1B 3B 3B - 3B
Mary - - - - - OF OF
Sue -------- FM --------
Spectators: Scott, Eric
Dang Goats! (quote from TOAD Charlie at Crown City).
In a week filled with the following strange events:
The Goat Scouts, in their rust and gold uniforms, kicked a bit of HOMER butt this week. The short-handed HOMERS struggled to get 10 players at the beginning of the game, ending with a total of 12 fieldable HOMERS. The Goats hit well, scoring a total of 30 runs against the HOMERS. The right side of the Goat infield snagged a number of hard hit line-drives, discouraging the HOMER hitters early in the game.
Many thanks to Bruiser Eric G and TOAD Charlie for helping us out while we were short-handed - and Joe for bringing the cooler in Richard's absence.
Also a thanks to Karen for slipping me an official Bruiser scoresheet on my way to field, minutes after I learned that Jeff wasn't coming to the game.
Score:
Homers 3 0 2 3 8 3 2 - 21
Goats 0 5 4 6 7 8 X - 30
Defense:
1 2 3 4 5 6
Don RCF RCF RCF RCF RCF RCF
Ron 3B P SS LF SS P
Eric G SS 3B 3B SS 3B X
Sheila RF RF 2B X RF 2B
Tony P SS P 3B X SS
Joe LF LF LF X LF LF
Andres C C X C C C
Annette LCF X RF RF LCF RF
Charlie 1B X 1B 1B 1B 1B
Robb X 1B C P P 3B
Becky 2B 2B X 2B 2B X
Mary X LCF LCF LCF X LCf
Homers were whacked by Tony (2), Joe, and Ron.
Andres gets a defensive highlight for forcing a runner at third from catcher on a mighty full-swing bunt by a Goat hitter.
Spectators: Alyssa, Haley, Eric, Booth and Barbara Hartley, Scott M
Diners at Crown City: Robb, Becky, Ron, Joe, Charlie, Scott M
Next game is Wednesday, June 8, against the Wild Turkeys on field H9 (near the water fountain). The Turkeys reportedly have done some excellent recruiting between seasons. Contact Jeff or Richard if you cannot make it.
With the warm weather returning to lift our spirits, the Homers dominated Tuesday's game, sauteing the Crawdads in a 26 to 15 win. The Homers seized control at the very beginning and just kept widening the margin until the end. In the third inning the mercy rule was invoked and by the fourth inning we went to double mercy.
Box score:
HOMERS 3 10 3 5 2 x 3 26 CRAWDADS 1 3 1 7 1 2 x 15Defensive Line-up:
Sheila 1b of - 2b 1b of of Richard of of of c of c 3b Rich 3b 3b 3b 1b 3b 3b c Kim 2b 2b 2b - 2b 2b 2b Andres c c c p p p p Tony ss p p of ss of of Joe of of of of of of of Annette of - of of - of - Scott - - - - - - - Steve of ss ss ss os ss ss Mary - of of of of - of Sue ---Field Manager---
Many thanks to Sue for being a great field manager and juggling the lineup and field positions. And many personal thanks to Scott M for doing a great job entertaining the kids while us parents got to play. The HOMERS cheering squad consisted of Robb, Scott S, Alyssa, Haley, and Eric.
Offense: Since I was busy entertaining kids at the water fountain whenever I was not batting, I will have to rely on Sue's notes to highlight our great offense. I apologize in advance if I omit any memorable moments. Ron kicked things off in the first inning with a homer. Tony had a great game, with one home run and two 3-run homers. Steve also pulled his weight with two 2-run homers. Rich got a powerful hit that led to a 3-run homer. Even though he did not get a homer this game, Richard had a great game by getting multiple bases at each of his four at-bats.
Defense: Several people made good catches this game, including Steve, Tony, and Jeff. Joe redeemed himself by making a good catch in the 7th inning. Kim did a great job covering 2nd base, catching throws by Rich in the 5th inning and Steve in the 6th inning for the outs.
Dinner was, as usual, at Crown City and was attended by Scott S, Kim, Joe, Ron, Rich, Sue, Robb, Scott M, and Richard.
The next HOMERS game is on Tuesday, May 24th versus the Goat Scouts on field H7 (the corner field). Richard mentioned that some of the b-league players would have to miss this game, so attendance may be limited. Please try to show up! We need you!
Some more of the schedule was recently released so mark your calendars as follows:
Tue, May 31, H9 @ Crawdads Wed, Jun 8, H9 v Wild Turkeys Wed, Jun 15, H9 @ Voodoo Toad Fury Tue, Jun 21, H7 @ Eclectic Eccentrics Wed, Jun 29, H9 @ Acquisition Allstars Tue, Jul 5, H7 @ LA Radars
In a unsually low-scoring game, the Homers beat the LA Equis 15-8. The Homers flirted with disaster by allowing Richard to pitch the final inning with only a 8-run lead, but we managed to hold on. Homers improve to 3-0 for the season.
Box score
LA Equis 1 0 0 6 0 0 1 8 HOMERS 1 3 4 2 5 0 x 15Defensive Line-up:
Ron p p p p 1b 1b 1b Don of of of of of of of Jeff 3b 3b c c c - of Sheila of of 3b 1b of of of Richard ss ss of ss ss ss p Rich 1b 1b 1b 3b 3b 3b 3b Joe of of of of of of - Kim 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b Steve - - ss of p p ss Daniel - - - - - c c Scott M. c c - - - - - Annette of of of of of - - Mary - - - - - of of Sue <-----Field Manager------>Sue juggled the lineup and field positions. Sideline participants included Scott Steadman, Rob Warren, Alyssa & Haley Ganino and Eric Limonadi.
Offense: Richard hit a solo home run in the second inning, and Rich hit a 2-run dinger in the 3rd inning. Triples were hit by Don (3), Richard and Joe. Rich and Joe both went 3 for 3. Kim and Annette knocked in 2 runs apiece.
Home run leaders after 3 games
Richard Chen 4
Joe Jacob 2
Tony Ganino 2
Daniel Limonadi 1
Steve Broberg 1
Rich Benesh 1
Total 11
Defense: Homers played very good defense overall. There was a near-double play by Richard in the 4th inning. Rich made a nice diving catch in the 5th inning.
After the game the HOMERS dinner at Crown City was attended by Ron, Sue, Scott S., Kim, Rob, Jeff, Daniel, Annette, Eric, Scott M., Richard, Rich, and Joe.
The next HOMERS game is on Thursday, May 19th versus the Crawdads on field H9 (the center field).
The Titans were ready for their first C-league game. They had a large group of players already warming up as the Homers arrived just in time to start the game. Their was much rejoicing by the Homers as the familiar red cooler with yummy drinks made it's first appearance of the year.
The Titans started the game with 5 runs in the top of the first inning. They had a little help from the Homers as Richard made sure the streak of "no balls in the street" stopped at one game. The Homers answered the Titans fast start by putting up 11 runs in the bottom of the first. Joe "I'll never forget the cooler again" Jacob provided the biggest hit of the inning with a grand slam.
After a slow start the Homers defense kicked it into gear and made some nice plays. Sue had a spark of pure genius and put Becky at first base. Becky didn't miss a single ball thrown to her (we don't count the ones that endangered passing vehicles). Tony showed his range at SS in the 3rd by running a mile before snagging a pop fly. Daniel and Don both made nice catches on booming hits in the outfield.
The Homers really lived up to their name in this one by hitting 7 home runs. Richard hit 3 home runs proving that jet lag is indeed a good thing. Joe had a Grand Slam (insert much cheering), Tony and Daniel each had a 3 run homer, and Steve hit a home run in his only at bat.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Total
Titans 5 0 0 1 5 5 0 16
Homers 11 0 4 2 5 0 - 22
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Ron P C P 3B OF -- P
Don OF OF OF OF -- OF OF
Jeff C OF C -- -- OF --
Kim 2B 2B -- OF 2B 2B 2B
Joe OF -- OF OF OF OF --
Richard SS -- OF SS SS P OF
Rich 1B 3B 3B -- 1B 3B 3B
Becky 3B 1B 1B 1B -- 1B 1B
Daniel -- OF -- OF -- -- OF
Tony OF P SS P 3B SS SS
Steve -- SS -- -- -- -- --
Annette OF -- OF -- OF OF --
Andres -- -- -- C P C --
Mary -- OF 2B 2B OF -- OF
Robb -- -- -- -- C -- C
Sue ---Field Manager ---
Spectators: Eric, David from Madrid
After the second victory of the year, dinner was held at Crown City Brewery, and attended by: Kim, Scott S, Ron, Sue, Andres, David from Madrid, Becky, Jeff, Robb, Daniel, Eric, Annette, Richard, Rich, and Joe.
"Where the %&(*!^*()!$^!*^(!# is the cooler?!!", bellowed the large, irate first baseman. Although acting Manager Scott M. had already heard about the cooler a couple of times, he silently cursed Jeff and Richard for failing to point out that cooler arrangements needed to be made in addition to handling the "simple" task of running the Homers. Thinking quickly, Scott replied "Ask Joe - he lives with Richard!". Fortunately, Joe was way out in right field at the time, so the discussion ended there.
The Homers 2005 season got underway, as Scott took on the task of running the team because the management couldn't figure out a way to remotely control the action from Australia and China. Ever hear of technology, guys???
The game itself was a typical Homers-Bruisers affair - the Homers allowed the Bruisers the illusion of being able to win for an inning or so, before putting the pedal to the medal and blowing the game open:
1 2 3 4 5 6 Total
Bruisers 1 2 0 0 1 1 -- 5
Homers 3 5 8 2 1 x -- 19
Kim 2B 2B 2B -- 2B 2B
Ron P SS 3B P 3B P
Don OF OF OF OF OF OF
Rich 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B 3B
Annette -- OF OF OF -- OF
Joe OF OF OF OF OF OF
Tony SS -- P SS -- --
Andres C C -- C P OF
Becky 3B 3B -- 3B OF 1B
Daniel OF OF -- -- C --
Sheila OF -- OF 2B OF --
Steve -- P SS OF SS SS
Scott M -- -- C -- -- C
Sue --Field Manager--
2-Legged Spectators: Scott S., Robb, Eric, Alyssa, and Haley
4-legged Spectators: Cosita
Becky caught a looping line drive at third base to start the game, and Ron fed Kim at second to get an out in the 2nd inning. In the third inning, Joe and Tony hit back to back homers, and while we all could tell that Tony was in his homerun trot, Joe did a good imitation of a trot, but maintained he was running all out. It's heck getting older, isn't it Joe? The 3rd was the inning in which the Homers ended the Bruisers delusions, and at the end, Rich refused to bat for a couple of minutes, thinking the mercy rule had been reached. Both team's accountants got together and assured Rich that the Homers were only ahead by 9, and that Don Caulkins (making his return to the Homers) out at second base was the 10th run. This led to the obligatory Rich clutch hit, and the near annihilation of the Bruisers manager when Karen inadvertently strayed into Rich's path on his way to second. All of which turned out to be unnecessary, as post-game it was revealed that the Homers were up by 12 before Rich ever got up - all the accountants must have been suffering from post-April 15th exhaustion!
The remainder of the game was relatively anti-climatic, with the Homers shutting the Bruisers down as Tony fed Sheila for a force out in the 4th, and the Homers ended the Bruisers 5th by turning a time-delayed double play that took about 5 minutes to complete. In the 6th inning, Rich and Becky switched bags, and sure enough, the batter hit a line drive that Becky snagged at first and almost turned into a double play. After another Bruiser got on, there was a hit to center field, and Don threw a perfect strike to the plate. Scott M (who thought it was safe to play one inning at catcher) tagged Karen out and the Homers would have had a 8-2-5 double play had Scott thrown the ball to third immediately, but Scott was busy looking over his shoulder, presumably worried about possible domestic violence! (other reports have it that Scott was actually looking to see if he was about to be run over by a marauding deer piloted by Pat Day, but this couldn't be confirmed).
After all this fun, dinner was held at Crown City Brewery, and attended by: Kim, Scott (M & S), Ron, Sue, Robb, Annette, Daniel, Eric, Joe, Andres, Becky, and Rich.
Eric showed that he has taken his Homer legacy seriously, as he stayed to close Crown City when the remaining Homers called it an evening. We've got a superstar in the making here!
To those who have forgotten, the next game is Tuesday, April 26th at the Rose Bowl. Let Jeff know if you can't make it.
After each game, she or he who chooses the dinner location writes a
reasonably factual Homers Report:
2004 | 2003 |
2002 | 2001 |
2000 | 1999 |
1998 | 1997 |
1996 | 1995 |
1994 | 1993 |
1992 | 1991
Ron Baalke provides the following info:
YEAR G* W-L** PCT HR GS R RA HR/G R/G RA/G Comments 1991 17 9-8 .529 32 1 208 221 1.88 12.2 13.0 1992 15 6-9 .400 31 2 188 220 2.07 12.5 14.7 Missing 2 Game Reports 1993 15 11-5-1 .676 30 2 192 165 2.00 12.8 11.0 2 Forfeit Wins 1994 17 12-5 .706 48 2 273 188 2.82 16.1 11.1 Missing 1 Game Report 1995 18 14-4 .778 63 1 303 173 3.50 16.8 9.6 1996 19 14-5 .737 52 3 304 187 2.74 16.0 9.8 1997 19 18-2 .900 68 3 361 203 3.58 19.0 10.7 1 Forfeit Win 1998 16 16-2 .889 81 3 363 189 5.06 22.7 11.8 2 Forfeit Wins 1999 15 12-4 .750 61 2 305 221 4.07 20.3 14.7 1 Forfeit Win 2000 18 15-3 .833 104 1 405 277 5.78 22.5 15.4 2001 17 11-7 .611 69 5 304 237 4.06 17.9 13.9 1 Forfeit Win 2002 15 13-3 .813 52 3 288 181 3.47 19.2 12.1 1 Forfeit Win 2003 14 14-1 .929 49 3 269 177 3.50 19.2 12.6 1 Forfeit Win 2004 17 15-3 .833 72 2 344 275 4.24 20.2 16.2 1 Forfeit Win Total 232 180-61-1 .746 812 33 4107 2914 3.50 17.7 12.6 10 Forfeit Wins Total* = Games actually played.
Other Baalkeisms: all-time home run statistics, all-time records, new records for 2004, new records for 2003, new records for 2002, new records for 2001, recap 2000, new records for 2000.
A Chenism: games played
submitted by Linda Ikami
_------_
/ \ DO RE MI DRINK, by Homer J. Simpson.
| |
| | *ahem* La la la la.... *ahem* LAAAAAAA!!
| __ __)
| / \/ \ DO...... the stuff... that buys me beer
/\/\ (o )o ) RAY..... the guy that sells me beer...
/c \__/ --. ME...... the guy... who drinks the beer
( ) FAR..... a long way to get beer...
\_ _-------' SO...... I'll have another beer...
| / \ LA...... I'll have another beer...
| | '\_______) TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer...
| \_____) That will bring us back to...
|_____ | (Looks into an empty glass)
|_____/\/\
/ \ D'OH!
|
|
last update: