June 12, 1997: (clockwise) Tony Ganino, Jeff Osman,
Sue Kientz, Ron Baalke, Richard Chen, Scott Morgan, Tim Ohm,
Annette Nasif, Robb Warren, Rich Benesh, Sheila Ganino.
June 12, 1997: (clockwise) Tony Ganino, Jeff Osman,
Sue Kientz, Ron Baalke, Richard Chen, Scott Morgan, Tim Ohm,
Annette Nasif, Robb Warren, Rich Benesh, Sheila Ganino.
August 6, 1997: (sitting) Sue Kientz, Jeff Osman,
Sheila Ganino, Sara, Mickey, (kneeling or short) Tony
Ganino, Kona, Ron Baalke, Annette Nasif, Aaron Lim, Brian Lim,
Amy Walsh, Lance Walsh, (standing) Tim Ohm, Robb Warren,
Rich Benesh, Barbara Lam, David Lim, Scott Morgan.
August 14, 1997: (front) Tony Ganino, Jeff Osman,
Richard Chen, Sheila Ganino, Mr. Jennings, (standing)
Karen Chan, Scott Morgan, Tim Ohm, Robb Warren, Rich Benesh,
David Lim, Annette Nasif, Linda Ikami.
cub and bear
Apr 24: HOMERS 23 Bruisers 2 May 01: Cyclones 16 HOMERS 23 May 05: Cassini Grounders 15 (ff) HOMERS 13 May 15: Radars 8 HOMERS 11 May 21: VOODOO TOAD FURY 15 Homers 14 (ff) May 28: HOMERS 22 Crawdads 17 Jun 02: Homers 17 PLANET X 20 Jun 12: Cyclones 7 HOMERS 23 Jun 17: IR Sox 18 HOMERS 20 Jun 26: HOMERS 18 Voodoo Toad Fury 4 Jul 08: HOMERS SEUers (ff) Jul 14: HOMERS 21 Deep Space Cadets 10 Jul 22: Goat Scouts 10 HOMERS 18 Jul 28: Wild Turkeys 3 HOMERS 22 Aug 06: HOMERS 17 Gravity Fielders 16 Aug-13: HOMERS 29 LA Radars 9 Aug-14: Deep Space Cadets 8 HOMERS 17 Aug-18: HOMERS 13 Cassini Grounders 9 (ff) Aug-19: Planet X 7 HOMERS 28 Aug-28: HOMERS 12 Voodoo Toad Fury 9 (ff)Schedule
Date Field Sat Sep-06 Montana Walsh May-23 Santa Barbara Nasif
Girls and boys, it's time to let those bated breaths out. Here are your Homer heroes for 1997.
M. HOMER (body): Rookie-boy Tony Ganino caps an outstanding debut season with this, the most prestigious of the Homer awards. No rookie since Ron Baalke in 1993 attended every game in a seaon, and no rookie has ever won this award. From day one Tony displayed exemplary Homer character not merely by slugging home runs but by paying wife Sheila's team fees after paying his own in order to gain tiebreaker points for this competition.
M. HOMER (soul): Richard finally wins this, the award he most coveted, by edging out Ron and Tony by a single home run. Richard came up big in the second Voodic war with 3 dingers, the only three home run game by a Homer this season. The team as a whole, according to Ron, hit more home runs than ever, thanks to significant contributions from the three above as well as Tim, Rich, and Scott.
M. HOMER (food): Sue Kientz was the only M. Homer of any sort to defend her/his title as she shared this award with beau Ron Baalke. Don't ask why their appetites are so large. This was also a big year for Sue as she left UCLA and began working at JPL in the ESI group. No wait, that's the EIS group, though Extremely Self-Important is a bit more apt for half her group. Sue thinks she may have found her niche as field manager for the Homers.
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: As much as husband Tony meant to the Homers, rookie-girl Sheila Ganino takes this award since 1 good woman is worth 2 good men according to Homer management. Sheila also picked the right time for her game to go into the tank; after a season of solid batting, Sheila hit about as well as a male JPL engineer at Club Med, fouling out twice to the catcher in the last game.
MOST IMPROVED PLAYER: Annette Nasif rose from a mediocre 23rd in the 1996 M. Homer competition to a respectable 12th this year, clearly becoming one of the core players on the team. Talent-wise, her glove, her arm, and her stick all improved, not to mention her people skills, as she has invited team Homer to her wedding next May.
THE CAL RIPKEN AWARD: Question: what Homer has played in 2300+ consecutive games, turned prematurely gray with no thought of coloring his/her hair, or earned deep respect throughout the C league softball world? Answer: no one. However, Jeff Osman wins this award because he reluctantly began playing third base this year. Despite his terminal initial reluctance, Jeff quickly learned the Homer attitude for infielders: forget about all missed grounders and overthrows and bask in the glory of any outstanding plays, such as throwing out a fast, annoying Chinese guy. From another team.
THE EDDIE HART/REY ROBINSON AWARD: On the fateful day of May 21, 1997, Scott Morgan's run as M. Homer effectively ended as he, Jeff Osman, and Richard Chen arrived early to the first Vudic war and determined that the game would be cancelled due to an unexpected L.A. Galaxy exhibition game. Tragically, the would-be-Magi left while the rest of the team arrived later and played. Not only did Scott miss out on an unprecedented 2nd M. Homer crown and his first M. Homer food crown, he also ended a consecutive game streak that dated back to 1995, and the Homers forfeited their first game ever.
NHL '97-'98: No, not the video game. Robb Warren, probably the team's most solid defender, concluded another excellent year with the Homers. However, since no one remembers Mark Belanger, Robb gets noted for once again having to miss two weeks of the season for the Race Across America. This interruption probably cost Robb the title of M. Homer food since he went to dinner after every game he played, but he was certainly pleased that his CCB factionmates won.
SEVEN: Besides being the Homer statistician and the only Homer with an asteroid named after him, Ron Baalke earns recognition for his exceptional patience at the plate, clearly a virtue from the Homer perspective. Ron's determination to swing only at good pitches to drive to right field led to 13 homers in the first 11 games, though he seemed to focus on M. Homer food after that.
THE CAMELIA KING: Talk about late bloomers - after years of quietly hanging around (before 1997, zero home runs and five games attended since 1993), Rich Benesh finally broke out and started rocking the Homer world. Rich missed only three games all year, hit eight legitimate (by necessity) home runs, and became the favorite playmate of mascot Kona.
PRIME TIME: Besides patrolling the outfield for the Homers, Amy Walsh also excelled as a point guard, a 5k runner, and a sprinter. To find enough time for these and other incomprehensible activities, Amy further emulated her role model not only by running around the Rose Bowl immediately after Homer games but also by skipping out before the ends of games. It is not known whether Neon Deion managed to avoid all off-field dinners as well in 1997.
THE WILL ROBINSON AWARD: Although David Lim ended the season clearly among the Homer core, his six missed games doubled the total number of games he had missed in his entire 2-year Homer career. He also failed to show up to any Homer dinners, though he had the misfortune of missing the game nearest the summer solstice. With sons soon to hit the age for Little League/soccer/etc., David's face may soon appear on Homer milk cartons.
THE MONTGOMERY BURNS AWARD: Tim Ohm made himself the {talk | idol | villain} of the C League world on July 28 vs. the Wild Turkeys when he threw out a batter at first base from left field while protecting a lead of 15-or-so runs. Tim once again played outstanding defense throughout the year, though this play in particular inspired some C league whining about other teams' never wanting to play the Homers again or the Homers' being forced into another league. [ed.: I'd have done it in a heartbeat or killed a bicyclist trying, then felt guily about it later]
THE FLANDERS AWARD: Holly and Kevin Schmidt out hi-diddely-dodellied all other Homers by neither belching nor swearing all season and even showing dismay at such behavior. Such a reaction would explain why Holly dropped from 4th in the M. Homer rankings to 20th.
THE SIDESHOW BOB AWARD: Despite managing his own successful softball team, Earl Higa found time to play enough games with the Homers to get into the year-end report and hit his first Homer dinger. Then there's the funky hair, the big feet, and the stentorian voice.
THE SCOTT MORGAN MEMORIAL: Does Lord Stanley win the Stanley Cup? Karen Chan, who chose to be a Homer substitute rather than a regular in deference to her own team, still outwormed the other eligible Homers by arriving first to half the games where beau Scott was not. Had she not won this award, she would have won one for being the only Homer woman willing to pitch.
THE CLARK/RUNKLE/KIEDROWSKI MEMORIAL: Following the diversion of the Clarks, the defection of the Runkles, and the departure of the Kiedrowskis, the Lam/Lims provided the only (literally) juvenile spectators. Though much quieter than their peers, Brian and Aaron did not:
RUST NEVER SLEEPS: Martha Berg and Cheryl Kiedrowski both started the Homer season reasonably well, attending three of the first six games, but both dropped off the face of the Homer earth and never appeared again after May. Both did come up with reasonable excuses: Cheryl moved to Arizona, and Martha began working for some slave driver.
PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR:
# 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 $ i 1 Tony Ganino 7 10 10 11 4 12 11 9 7 8 8 5 8 5 5 6 7 9 10 6 4 2 Scott Morgan 4 1 1 3 1 1 3 6 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 1 1 1 8 1 3 Sheila Ganino 15 6 8 14 6 8 11 12 10 7 2 7 10 4 9 9 2 11 12 5 4 Ron Baalke 2 4 3 6 2 4 6 5 4 2 4 4 2 2 6 3 9 5 Sue Kientz 3 2 3 2 1 5 6 1 5 3 4 6 3 4 10 4 9 6 Tim Ohm 5 9 9 6 9 9 7 8 9 9 8 11 7 8 10 8 3 7 Rich Benesh 11 11 15 8 5 8 13 11 7 5 11 6 5 5 8 6 8 Jeff Osman 1 5 4 3 3 2 2 3 6 3 2 4 3 3 2 1 2 9 Richard Chen 10 3 2 5 2 4 4 3 4 2 3 3 6 12 5 1 3 10 Robb Warren 5 13 3 7 10 10 9 5 6 9 7 7 11 4 7 5 6 11 Annette Nasif 6 7 8 5 6 10 7 10 8 10 10 8 13 9 4 12 David Lim 14 9 12 12 11 12 11 9 13 9 12 4 5 7 7 13 Amy Walsh 11 8 7 10 12 11 9 10 12 10 12 15 14 Karen Chan S 6 1 1 3 4 1 2 15 Earl Higa 14 15 S S 14 10 16 Lam/Lims S S S S S 17 Martha Berg 12 7 10 11 18 Cheryl Kdrwski 9 13 11 13 19 Evora Simien 8 6 S 14 20 Holly Schmidt 12 13 11 20 Kevin Schmidt 12 13 11 22 Sammie/Belle S S S 22 Lance Walsh S S S 22 Mary Wittman S S S 25 Linda Ikami 8 7 26 Ingrid Allwelt 6 11 27 Bob Jennings S S 28 Ellen Runkle 2 29 Dave Scaff 12 29 Beth Verish 12 31 Bruce McLemore 15 32 Taylor x S 32 other Runkles S 32 Ma Warren S 32 Ma Ganino S 32 Alex Pescaru S
# == current ranking
The algorithm to determine the winner:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 sum
Richard Chen 1 1 1 2 1 3 2 2 1 14
Ron Baalke 1 2 1 1 2 1 2 1 2 13
Tony Ganino 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 1 1 1 2 13
Tim Ohm 1 2 2 2 1 8
Rich Benesh 1 1 1 2 1 1 1 8
Scott Morgan 1 1 1 1 1 1 6
Linda Ikami 2 1 3
David Lim 1 1 2
Earl Higa 1 1
Total: 68
This one goes strictly by the number of home runs.
# attended/skipped 1 Ron Baalke 16/0 1 Sue Kientz 16/0 3 Scott Morgan 16/2 4 Robb Warren 15/0 4 Jeff Osman 15/0 6 Richard Chen 13/2 7 Annette Nasif 10/4 8 Tim Ohm 9/7 9 Sheila Ganino 8/10 10 Tony Ganino 8/11 11 Karen Chan 6/2 12 Rich Benesh 6/9 13 Cheryl Kiedrowski 2/1 13 Samantha/Isabelle 2/1 13 Mary Wittman 2/1 16 Earl Higa 2/4 17 Bruce McLemore 1/0 17 Taylor x 1/0 19 Alex Pescaru 1/1 20 Amy Walsh 1/10 21 Beth Verish 0/1 21 Ellen Runkle 0/1 21 Dave Scaff 0/1 24 Ingrid Allwelt 0/2 24 Linda Ikami 0/2 26 Evora Simien 0/3 26 Holly Schmidt 0/3 26 Kevin Schmidt 0/3 26 Martha Berg 0/3 30 David Lim 0/13
The Homers had their best year ever in 1997. The Homers finished with an outstanding 18-2 record, including winning their last 13 games of the year (a new Homer record). In fact, the 1997 team shattered just about every team record on offense. This includes most home runs (68), most runs scored (361), and tied the team record of 3 grand slams. In 1997, the Homers AVERAGED 19.0 runs per game, breaking the previous record of 16.8 runs per game from 1995. The Homers had nine games of 20+ runs, and scored no fewer than 11 runs in any of the games this year.
last update: 12 April 2001