Homers
The Homers, est. 1991, strives to be a pleasant, semi-serious team in
JPL's C League Softball.
Send email to
the
regular Homers or
anyone
affiliated with the team.
(writers: use the latter for Homers Reports)
If you want to get on or off the latter mailing list, click
here.
Schedule
| Apr 17 |
1. Homers 15, L.A. Radars 18 (ff) |
| Apr 30 |
2. Bruisers 8, Homers 28 |
| May 09 |
3. Homers 13, Wild Turkeys 15 |
| May 15 |
4. Homers 21, Crawdads 7 |
| May 23 |
5. Paper Tigers 25, Homers 18 |
| May 30 |
6. Titans 13, Homers 14 |
| Jun 05 |
7. Goat Scouts 23, Homers 16 |
| Jun 13 |
8. Voodoo TOAD Fury 14, Homers 10 |
| Jun 20 |
9. Double Mercy!! 8, Homers 17 |
| Jun 25 |
10. Homers 15, Titans 17 |
| Jul 10 |
11. Homers 19, Eclectic Eccentrics 20 |
| Jul 17 |
12. L.A. Radars 23, Homers 10 |
| Jul 23 |
13. Paper Tigers 17, Homers 13 |
| Aug 07 |
14. Homers 19, Eclectic Eccentrics 14 |
| Aug 21 |
15. Homers 16, Goat Scouts 4 (ff) |
| Aug 29 |
16. Homers 6, Voodoo TOAD Fury 14 |
|
Aug 21, 2012
@ Caltech Athenaeum. From L to R: Don, Jeff, Richard, Clement, Scott S,
Scott M, Kim S, Jessica, Matt, Sue, Ron
|
All games will be played at
Hahamonga Park.
The softball fields are on the lower level of the park. Field HN has
the backstop and the dirt infield. HS is diagonally across from HN.
M. Homer (body)
# * 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 $
1 1 Ron Baalke 4 3 2 2 2 1 4 2 3 4 4 3 3 2 2 5 1
2 2 Richard Chen 5 6 8 10 7 7 12 4 10 7 8 10 5 10 7 1
3 3 Sue Kientz S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S
4 4 Scott Morgan 2 2 1 1 2 2 3 2 13 1 1 2 7 1 1
5 5 Annette Nasif 8 8 5 6 6 5 5 8 7 7 5 4 11 6 10
6 6 Joe Jacob 10 6 9 5 6 7 9 8 9 8 9 6 9 9 1
7 7 Jeff Osman 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 2 1 1 1 2 1
8 9 Becky Castano 13 11 9 13 10 9 9 11 12 12 12 11 10 1
9 10 Renee Limonadi S S S S S S S S S S S S S
9 10 Clement Chen S S S S S S S S S S S S S
11 8 Tony Ganino 6 7 3 7 9 6 11 8 10 4 7 12 16
12 12 Jessica Hausman 12 12 10 10 7 9 6 10 6 10 8 11 1
13 13 Eric Limonadi S S S S S S S S S S S S
14 14 Don Calkins 3 5 5 3 4 3 3 4 3 5 3 1
15 15 Mary Wittman 11 10 11 8 8 8 10 11 11 11 12 10
16 18 Kim Steadman 9 4 7 3 4 2 6 5 4 4 10
17 17 Andy Kubasak 3 4 6 5 5 5 5 7 3 8 15
18 19 Daniel Limonadi 14 12 10 12 S 11 S 13 S 13 10
19 20 Daniel Castano S S S S S S S S S S
19 16 Sofi Castano S S S S S S S S S S
21 21 Scott Steadman S S S S S S S S S
22 22 Slim Mrozinski 7 4 6 9 7 9 9 10
23 24 Robb Warren 15 11 11 13 13 S
24 25 Gabrielle Castano S S S S S S
25 23 Tony Greicius 9 4 8 12 6
26 26 Rich Benesh 3 10 6
27 27 Liz Beck S S 11
28 28 Kelly Oliver S 8
29 29 Andres Castano S 1
30 30 Michelle Tanner 8
31 31 Stephanie Su S
31 31 Alyssa Ganino S
31 31 Mavis Su S
31 31 Maya Walsh S
31 31 Amy Walsh S
31 31 Bob Jennings S
31 31 Sheila Ganino S
31 31 Haley Ganino S
#==current ranking,
*==previous ranking,
Out,
Spectator,
Late arrival,
Early exit,
Male player, confirmed
Female player, confirmed
male player, presumed
female player, presumed
The algorithm to determine the winner:
number of regular season games attended
if tied, irregular season games attended
if tied, lowest sum of order of appearance at regular season
games
if still tied, order of appearance at irregular games
Order of appearance also pretty much determines: 1) each game's batting
order,
2) the order of sitting out defensively,
and 3) who gets sent over to the other team if they don't
have enough. Note: the payment of team fees counts as an irregular
game.
M. Homer (food)
# * 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
1 1 Jeff Osman + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
2 2 Scott Morgan + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
3 3 Richard Chen + - + + + + + + + + + + + + +
4 4 Ron Baalke + + + + + + + + + + + - - + + +
5 5 Clement Chen + + + + + + + + + + + + +
6 6 Sue Kientz + + + + + + + + + + - - - + + +
7 7 Jessica Hausman + + + + + + + + + + + +
8 8 Eric Limonadi + + + + + + + - + + + + +
8 8 Becky Castano + + + + + + + - + + + + +
10 11 Annette Nasif + + + + + + + - + + + + - +
10 11 Renee Limonadi + + + + + + + - + + + + - +
12 13 Daniel Castano + + + + + + + + + + +
13 8 Sofi Castano + + + + + + + - + + + +
14 14 Daniel Limonadi + + + + + + + - + + + - +
15 15 Gabrielle Castano + + + + + + + + + +
16 16 Kim Steadman + + + + + - + + + +
17 18 Scott Steadman + + + + - + + + +
18 17 Andres Castano + + + + + + +
19 19 Robb Warren + + + + + +
20 19 Rich Benesh + + + + +
21 22 Andy Kubasak - + + - + - + - - +
22 21 Matthew Hanna + + + +
23 23 Tony Ganino - - - - - + + - + - - - -
24 24 Slim Mrozinski + + - - - - -
25 32 Mary Wittman - - - - - + - - - - +
26 25 Stephanie Su +
26 25 Alyssa Ganino +
26 25 Mavis Su +
26 25 Bob Jennings +
26 25 Sheila Ganino +
26 25 Haley Ganino +
32 31 Liz Beck + - -
33 33 Don Calkins - - - - - - - - - - + -
34 34 Maya Walsh -
34 34 Amy Walsh -
34 34 Michelle Tanner -
37 37 Kelly Oliver - -
38 38 Tony Greicius - - - - -
39 39 Joe Jacob - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
# current ranking
* previous ranking
+ attended dinner
- skipped dinner
M. Homer (soul)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 sum
Ron Baalke 2 1 1 1 1 1 7
Slim Mrozinski 2 1 1 1 5
Tony Greicius 2 2 4
Richard Chen 1 1 1 3
Tony Ganino 1 1 1 3
Andy Kubasak 1 1 2
Don Calkins 1 1
Joe Jacob 1 1
Daniel Limonadi 1 1
From: Richard Chen
Eh, we lost to a better team, plus their uniform for the day was
mohawk-with-stars wigs in honor of Bobak. My god, someone bought and
took the time
to alter ~15 of them? That used to be us, both the élan and the winning.
As the Mongolians on the Simpsons said after failing to leap
the Great Wall on pogo sticks, that's enough for this season - everyone
meet back here next year with some more ideas (ah, I can't do next year -
my kid has a thing).
Homers 0 2 0 0 1 0 3 6
Toads 5 0 3 0 6 0 x 14
Jeff OF OF OF OF C -
Andy OF OF OF OF OF OF
Ron P P P P P P
Kim 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Scott 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B
Richard SS SS SS SS SS SS
Annette OF OF OF OF OF OF
Joe OF OF OF OF OF OF
Daniel - - - - OF OF
Becky 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B
Jessica C C C C - C
Mary - field manager -
Spectators: Scott S, Sue, Eric, Renee, Clement, Danny, Bella
Don's arm swelled after batting practice, so he sat. Mary showed up
late, had a nice hard hit in the 3rd inning, then hurt herself, possibly
her achilles tendon, running the bases and took over the scorebook.
Daniel went 2-for-2 with a homer, and Joe and Richard each had a
single and a double in 3 at bats, and no one else had 2 hits,
hence 6 runs. No spectacular defensive plays, though Jessica at C nearly
caught a twisting foul pop-up, Joe had a solid game in LF, Richard got
one 6-3 double play but couldn't reach two
others, Scott at 1B came off the bag nicely to catch a wild throw and tag
the batter out, and Becky at 3B and Kim at 2B each had a nice assist. Toads
hit well: nothing crushed, just solid liners.
Dinner at Round Table: of the 21 Homers at the game, all but Joe
and Don went, which is pretty awesome. Eh, nerts
to what I said before. We're still awesome in our Homeric way, with each of
us deserving a
Homerism (non-HJS quotes noted):
- Clement
- Jebediah
Springfield: "A noble spirit
embiggens
the smallest man." In his first full season, Clement spectated much better
than his daddy expected. His bravura performance came at the end of the
last dinner, when (at age 3.57) he said individual goodbyes to Aunt Mary
and Uncles Robb, Scott, Jeff, and Andy, addressing each by name. Future
president or Cal athletics' fundraiser.
- Jeff
- Edna Krabapple:
"Embiggens? I never heard that word before I moved to Springfield."
Ms Hoover: "I don't know why. It's a
perfectly cromulent
word." Weighing together his playing and his managing, in which we had 11+
players at every game, Jeff had a perfectly cromulent season.
- Ron
- "Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything,
Kent. Forfty percent
of all people know that." The email with Homer records awaits.
- Sue
- Consultant: "You
haven't set aside anything for the future."
Chief Wiggum: "Ah, you know how it
is with cops. I'll get shot three days before retirement. In the business we
call it retirony."
I don't know about her finances or her work status, but I do know that the
most literate Homer will get this.
- Scott M
- Bart:
"K-W-Y-J-I-B-O. 22 points, plus triple-word-score, plus 50 points for
using all my letters. Game over. I'm outta here."
Homer: "Wait a minute, you little
cheater! You're not going anywhere until you tell me what a
kwyjibo is."
Bart: Kwyjibo. Uh... a big, dumb, balding North American ape. With no
chin." Marge: "And a short temper."
Homer: "I'll show you a big, dumb,
balding ape!" Bart: "Uh oh.
Kwyjibo on the loose!" I don't think the Homers ever had a player with a
short fuse, but Scott set off some other teams by calling out their illegal
bats, particularly the Paper Kwyjibos.
- Annette
- Prof. Frink:
"My goodness, I've
redorkulated!"
One of these years, Annette will be back among us work-wise as well as
Homers-wise.
- Joe
- Dr. Nick: "Sir,
calm down, you're going to give yourself skin failure. The symptoms you
describe lead me to believe that you are suffering from
bonus eruptus,
a rare disorder in which the skeleton tries to jump out of the skin.
The only way to stop it is through transdental electromicide. I'll need
a golf cart motor and a thousand volt capacimator, stat." This refers
either to Bonnie's broken foot, which none of us have seen, or Joe's
hypochondria.
- Becky
- Frink, at chalkboard:
"Here is an ordinary square." Wiggum:
"Whoa, whoa, slow down, egghead."
Frink: "But suppose we extend the
square beyond the two dimensions of our universe, along the hypothetical
Z-axis there. [Marge, Lisa, Bart, Ned, Lovejoy, Wiggums, Hibbert, Patty,
and Selma gasp as Frink draws a cube] This forms a three-dimensional
object known as a cube or a
Frinkahedron, in
honor of its discoverer." I believe Becky has seen plenty of presentations
like this in pulling down or helping pull down research grants
- Renee
- Faux-Adolf Hitler,
just missing a phone call: "Ach! Das Beinfon ist ein...
Nuisancefon!"
Forget teaching your kids German, Daniel. Stick to mock German
- Tony Ga
- "Florida?! But that's
America's wang!"
Psychiatrist: "They prefer 'The
Sunshine State'". Welcome back after missing all of last season, Tony.
- Jessica
- "I'm no missionary, I don't even believe in
Jebus!"
I know nothing about Jessica's religious beliefs, but presumably
it's something nontraditional.
- Eric
- Kearney:
"Furthermore to this beer, I would also like three of your finest,
cheapest cigars. Here's my ID which confirms my
adultivity."
Soon Eric's maturity alone will convince peole he's an adult. Plus
his height.
- Don
- Dr. Hibbert:
"Mr. Burns is suffering from what we medical men call
hypohemia,"
i.e. giving blood on the day of the biggest game of the season, then
landing on the DL because of it.
- Mary
- Chief Wiggum:
"This D.U.I. is a
She.U.I.!"
The rooster story never gets old.
- Kim
- Bart: "Hey, some
people in this family are doers, and some [he looks at Lisa] are
don'ters."
Kimbo, more positivity!
- Andy
- "Apu's getting all this stuff with those octuplets and
I'm here with these lousy
onetuplets."
Does Andy have a twin? I don't think so, but maybe his sister Karen, who
played with us last year, does? Or maybe she herself had twotuplets?
- Daniel L
- Lisa:
"The Chinese have the same word for 'crisis' and 'opportunity'."
Homer:
"Crisitunity,"
which, with the two MERs in mind, was the backup name for MSL, for
which Daniel missed 6 straight games from June 20 to Aug 7.
- Daniel C
- Kent:
"Tonight, on 'Eye on Springfield': just miles from your doorstep,
hundreds of men are given weapons and trained to kill. The government
calls it the 'army', but a more alarmist name would be... 'The
Killbot
Factory.'" If I had to bet on the most rambunctious next generation
Homer, it'd be Danny.
- Sofi
- Flanders:
"Uh, Homer? I don't mean to be a nervous pervis, but if he falls,
couldn't that make your son a
paraplegiarino?"
Mark these words for the next Super Bowl party.
- Scott S
- Brockman:
"One Springfield man is treating his wife to an extra special
Valentine's Day this year, and
introubulating
the rest of us." I have no specific knowledge, but Scott seems like
the guy who'd do nice things for Kim.
- Slim
- Burns, driving a car for the
first time: "I'm sure the manual will indicate which lever is the
velocitator."
Slim, or perhaps Andy, is the fastest Homer now, and this team needs speed
and quickness. We have many candidates for "deceleratrix".
- Robb
- Moe: "Get in here,
Boozy. You're late for your
drunkening". Ah,
only Robb and a few other old-timers remember the C League days where
teams might get nicely toasted even before the game.
- Gabrielle
- Historian:
"Looks like you've come down with a serious case of
Jebeditis."
Lisa: "Just as I was getting over
my Chester A. Arthritis." Historian:
"Heh heh... you had arthritis?" For which the cure is Bella-donna.
- Tony Gr
- Frink: "It worked!
The Debigulator
worked!" Only five games from one of the best players at JPL?
- Richard
- Mayor Quimby:
"We must face up to the
unfaceuptoable!"
Homer off-season moves await. Or not.
From: Ron Baalke
It was one small step for a Homer, and one giant
leap for Homerkind.
The Goat Scouts showed up with only 7 men and no
woman, so forfeited. The game was played anyway, and
we provided catcher until another Goat showed up, and
Tony Ganino went over and played for the Goats. By
game's end, the Goats were fielding 9 men (no women).
The Goats took an out for every 4th person in their lineup.
Box score
HOMERS 0 7 2 1 3 2 1 - 16
Goat Scouts 3 0 0 0 1 0 0 - 4
After falling behind early on by 3-0, the Homers
scored 7 runs in the 2nd inning and never looked back
Tony Greicius hit two home runs, the 2nd one
being thrown out at the plate. But still being
given credit for the home run when it was
discovered Tony Ganino held the other Tony when
he was rounding 3rd. Ron also hit a home run as
he hit for the cycle (single, double, triple, HR).
Don went 4 for 4 and Richard 3 for 3. Scott and
Tony also went 3 for 4 each.
Defense: The HOMERS played decent defense for a change.
Richard had a double play in the early innings, and Tony
Greicius made several catches in the outfield.
Defensive Line-up:
Jeff c - c - c - -
Ron p p p p p p p
Andy of 1b of c 1b 1b 1b
Kim 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b
Don of of of of of of of
Tony Gre. of of ss of of of ss
Scott 1b c 1b - - c c
Jessica of of of of of of of
Joe - of of of of of of
Richard ss ss - ss ss ss of
Annette 3b 3b 3b 3b 3b 3b 3b
Tony Ganino <played for Goat Scouts>
A note about last week's game: Richard's home run
was his 200th for the HOMERS.
Sideline participants: Sue, Scott S., Clemens, Daniel
Dinner was at the Athenaeum and attended by Sue, Ron,
Scott M., Don, Jeff, Richard, Clemens, Scott S., Kim,
Jessica and Matt.
The next HOMERS game is on WEDNESDAY, August 29, versus the
Voodoo Toad Fury on field HS (grass field). As usual,
let Richard or Jeff know if you can't make the game.
From: Richard and Clement Chen
Uncle Jeff brilliantly brought a 10-year-old camera to the field to
entertain Clement, who then faithfully captured every team member and even
one Eccentric during the course of the game.
Let us now praise famous Homers
However, during dinner at Round Table, Clement couldn't focus on his
food, which his parents swear never happens, so someone asked what
bothered him.
It was as if you and your children and your husband and those
others were stood there naked in front of the cold absorption of the camera
in all your shame and pitiableness to be pried into and laughed at; and your
eyes were wild with fury and shame and fear, and the tendons of your little
neck were tight, the whole time, and one hand continually twitched and tore
in the rotted folds of your skirt like the hand of a little girl who must
recite before adults, and there was not a thing you could do, nothing,
not a word or remonstrance you could make.
Thus, his artistic/lucky photos:
Homers 0 2 7 6 1 3 19
EE 4 0 1 2 4 3 14
Jeff C
Ron P
Don CF
Annette 2B
Slim SS
Joe RF
Andy 3B
Kelly 1B
Richard LF
Jessica R
Spectator: Sue. Photographer: Clement. Base coach: Liz. Dinnerites-only:
Daniel, Eric, Renee
With much coaxing, Kelly came off the bench despite a bum shoulder when
only 4 regulars had arrived
by 5:30, only 8 by 5:40. She ended up with a big hit in the 6-run 4th to
drive in Andy and score ahead of Richard's homer, and she got the final putout
of the game off a good assist from Andy. Jessica arrived around 6:10 and drove
in the final run of the 7-run 3rd. Liz came too late to play but did coach
the last inning or so when the team had lost a little focus.
Don, Slim, and Andy were money on offense, a combined 10-for-10 including
a homer and a triple from Andy. Richard and his gross pinky demand credit
for swapping batting spots with Slim, creating a little middle-of-the-order
engine that scored 7 out of 9 possible times. On defense, the key play was
probably Andy's spearing, on the glove side, a hooking line drive to end the
5th.
Hmmm, I should probably write something about the spectacular,
player-depleting MSL, or mohawks, or even the Olympics, but this is my
world, and Clem dominates all. Welcome.
From: Don Calkins
Finally I'm getting around to doing this. It was an interesting game -
it started off even (0 to 0) and ended in the victory being given to the
team with the most points. That team that was not the Homers....
The Homers started well - leading 9 to 1 at the beginning of the 4th
when the Paper Tigers piled up 11 runs. In the 5th inning, the Homers
pulled within 1 but never caught. In the 6th, the Paper Tigers added
3 more and the Homers came up empty. It was a good game but there was
one injury - to a spectator. Homer Hall of Famer, Amy was in attendance
with her daughter, Mia (?). She was hit in the head, close to her eye,
by an errant Frisbee while watching the game and it looked like it left
a mark. It's likely we may never see her as a spectator again. Sorry Amy.
Dinner was somewhere and probably attended by the usual suspects.
Here's what little I remember of the game: Mary had a great catch in
the outfield on a tough fly ball Jeff was hitting the ball solidly but
generally right at a member of the opposing team. Slim hit a monster hr
but what I noticed most was the sound it made. It was a "tink" and the
ball took off. I think that is the sound of the sweet spot of the bat
hitting the sweet spot of the ball. A sound I don't think I've ever
made... :-) Michele made her Homer debut and she did great at third base.
It takes a game or two to get used to hitting a high, slow, grapefruit
but she was zeroing in on the ball with each at bat. We are grateful
for her participation and hope she makes more games. There were a couple
of "interesting" situations at 3rd base that led to outs at home plate.
1 2 3 4 5 6
Jeff c c c c of
Scott of of of 1b of of
Kim 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b
Ron p p p p p p
Don of of of of of of
Tony Ga. 1b 1b 1b 1b
Jessica of 2b of c
Slim ss ss ss ss
Richard ss of of of ss
Michele 3b 3b 3b 3b 3b
Tony Gr. of c of
Mary of of 3b of of
Box Score
Paper Tigers 1 0 0 11 2 3 17
Homers 1 5 3 1 3 0 13
From: Jessica Hausman
As I have just realized that I haven't written the report yet and the next
game is in a couple of hours this will be short, not necessarily sweet though.
We played against the LA Radars and we may have had some better games than
this one.
I have some recollection of Tony yelling that Jeff gave up, and found out
that Jeff barely made a trot to 1st base.
There was a very nice play by Andy to Becky that resulted in an out at 3rd.
Score
LA Radars 3 3 4 3 2 2 6 23
Homers 1 2 0 5 0 2 0 10
Lineup
Jeff x x C C C C C
Scott C C x 1B OF OF OF
Kim OF OF OF OF 2B 2B 2B
Ron P P P x P P P
Tony 1B 1B 1B P 1B 1B 1B
Andy 3B OF OF OF OF OF OF
Jessica 2B 2B 2B 2B OF OF OF
Slim SS SS SS SS -- -- --
Richard OF OF OF OF SS SS SS
Joe OF OF OF OF OF OF OF
Becky -- 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B
Spectators were Sue, Scott, Sofi, Danny, Bella, and Clement. Dinner was
at Round Table and attended by Jeff, Scott, Kim, Scott, Andy, Jessica,
Richard, Clement, Becky, Sofi, Bella, and Danny.
Our next game is today against the Paper Tigers.
From: Ron Baalke
Ok, last week's game there were 3 home runs. The ones I remember for sure were
mine and Andy's. Jessica can you check the scoresheet for the 3rd one?
From: Jessica Hausman
Last week's game against the Radars there were 3 HR, Slim in the 2nd inning,
Ron in 4th and Andy in 6th.
From: Richard Chen
Hmm, I thought it'd been a decade since we lost to the Eccentrics,
but in fact it was 5 years ago. Eh, ok, this was not another indicator
that we're all getting a little long in the tooth. They, however, got
significantly younger and more fun to play against.
Homers 11 0 7 1 0 19
EE 6 7 3 3 1 20
Richard RF SS LF SS LC
Jeff - C C - -
Don LC LC LC LC -
Annette 3B OF 2B - RC
Ron P P - P P
Joe LF LF - LF LF
Slim SS RF SS - SS
Jessica 2B 2B - 2B 2B
Tony 1B 1B P 1B 1B
Scott C - RF RF RF
Mary RC 3B RC RC -
Robb - - 1B C C
Becky - - 3B 3B 3B
The game started off well enough, with Richard's 3-run homer ending the
top of the first via mercy rule, but the second was as bad (3 up, 3 down)
as the first was good. Ron led off the third with a solid liner to RC,
but successfully arguing for a homer (instead of a double based on where
the automatic double area was) cost us a run in the bottom half of the
inning, when the Eccentrics with two outs hit a ball to the same place,
followed by an out to end the inning. We then scored only 1 more run
the rest of the game and didn't manage to hold them scoreless in any.
Richard, Slim, Scott, and Mary all went 3-for-3 on the day. Defensively,
I can't remember any outstanding plays. Richard on a relay assisted to
Jeff at C for a tag to end the inning but misfired on three other similar
throws. Robb at 1B smartly caught Tony's one-hop throw from P by stepping
away from the ball to catch a big bounce rather than lunge for it.
Scott nearly kept the game tied in the last inning by firing a
strike to Robb at C that beat Cris Windoffer to the plate, but Windoffer's
slide and their collision (completely clean) jarred the ball loose. Well,
had that play been made, we still would have needed some luck to stay
tied.
Spectators: Eric, Renee, Clement, Richard's sister-in-law Mavis,
Sue, Sofi, Danny, and Bella. Dinner was intended for Round Table, but its
crowdedness sent most of us (Richard, Clement, Mavis, Jeff, Ron, Jessica,
Scott, Robb, Becky, Castano kids) to Georgee's, though the Nasif/Limonadis
honored their phone-in order at Round Table instead.
We have no schedule yet for the rest of the season, including next week.
From: Sheila Ganino
On a beautiful summer evening in which old friends returned to the fold
and fights were averted, the Homers didn't quite live up to their name.
The Titans ended up on top, winning 17-15. While the Homers battled back
valiantly during their last ups, they were unable to convert bases loaded
into any more runs. However, the highlight of the game had nothing to do
with softball. At one point a local Frisbee golfer ran over to Richard
and "loudly" shared his opinion that Richard was going to "kill the tree"
while bouncing Clement on a branch. To his credit, Richard remained calm
the entire time. In a rare showing of C league unity, several Homers and
Titans backed up Richard as the golfer confronted him. Luckily no fighting
ensued! Another interesting tidbit was the unhappiness exhibited several
times by the Titans first basewoman at some of the calls at first. She was
overheard at one point telling the Homers' base coach that perhaps he
needed a better angle to make the call!
Let's see, Joe made some nice catches... homeruns by Tony and Slim... Due
to the amount of caching up that occurred during the game, not much else
is remembered. Please see the attached report for more details. Dinner
was at Roundtable, attended by the Ganinos and Grandpa Bob, The Limonadis,
Richard and Clement, Scott, Ron, Jeff, and Becky and two of her kiddos.
Please let Jeff or Richard know if you were left off this list. The next
game is July 10. You know the drill. Unfortunately , due to the youngest
Ganino girl's practice schedule, the Ganino girls may not make many more games.
[the Ganino score sheet]
From: Tony Ganino
On the longest day of the year, the Homers made short work of Double
Mercy. While they didn't exactly make them true to their namesake, the
Homers were able to put up a bunch of runs early and actually play something
that resembled defense to single mercy the bad guys by the 4th inning.
From there, they never looked back, maintaining their singly merciful ways,
as the Homers cruised to a 17-8 victory.
Offensive highlights included a HR by Ron in the first inning, a bunch of
doubles, and a few nice shots by the better half of the lineup, particularly
Annette, who hit a nice hard single to get the 3rd inning going.
Defensively, there were no notes on the score sheet, so we obviously did
nothing worry of praise, in the eyes of our scorekeepers.
Dinner was held at Round Table and was attended by a bunch of really nice
people and their children, the author of this report not being one of them.
The next game is against the Titans on Monday, June 25 on HN. As usual,
please let Jeff know if you won't be able to make it.
As a final note, while the author has historically been shameless in the
dereliction of his Homer's report duties, please notice with the
attached score summary how the bar has been
raised with regards to the expected quality and completeness of future
Homer reports. [TIC]
Tony
From: Scott Morgan
The approach of Summer Solstice signaled the renewal of one of the
oldest rivalries in JPL Softball - the TOADS vs. the HOMERS.
Bad omens for the HOMERs were everywhere:
The field had apparently been seeded with toads (amphibious variety)
in preparation for the game.
The Kings had just won Lord Stanley's Cup - a feat that the likes for
Wayne Gretzky, Marty McSorley, Kelly Hrudey, and Rogie Vachon could not
achieve in 45 years.
The Stanley Cup victory was NOT followed by hours of rioting.
The TOADS were still licking their wounded egos from a loss the prior
week to the Bruisers.
An illegal TOAD bat was removed from the TOAD arsenal, fueling their anger.
The HOMERS braved all of these negative signs - relying on a rare visit
by HOMER good luck charm Rich to counteract all of the negativity. Alas,
the HOMERS could not overcome the TOADS, losing in a close battle 14-10.
Defensive highlights included an unassisted double play by Tony in the
first inning, Annette making a great catch of flyball in the sun in right
field in the 3rd, Jessica assisting on a putout at second base in the 4th,
and Don making a running catch of a flyball in the 7th.
The primary offensive highlight was a solo Home Run by Tony in the
second inning.
Defense and batting order:
Jeff C C C x C C x
Ron P P P P x P P
Don OF OF OF OF OF x OF
Annette OF OF OF OF OF OF OF
Andy OF OF OF SS x OF OF
Tony Ga SS 1B SS x P SS SS
Rich 1B x 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B
Jessica 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Joe OF OF x OF OF OF C
Richard x SS OF OF SS x OF
Daniel x x x C OF OF x
Becky 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B
Scoring:
TOADS 3 2 6 0 0 3 0 - 14
HOMERS 1 2 4 0 2 1 0 - 10
Dinner at The Slaw Dogs was attended by Richard, Clement, Jessica,
Matt, Jeff, Tony, Sue, Ron, Rich, and Scott.
TOAD Humor:
A frog went to visit a fortune teller. "What do you see in my
future?" asked the frog. "Very soon," replied the fortune teller, "you will
meet a pretty young girl who will want to know everything about you." "That's
great!" said Charlie, hopping up and down excitedly. "But when will I meet
her?" "Next week in science class," said the fortune teller.
The next game is Wednesday against Double Mercy on HN (the dirt field).
As always, if you are not going to make the game, are waffling, or are
thinking about waffling, please let Jeff and Richard know.
From: Jeff Osman
"There's a little black spot on the sun today..."
For some reason those words from a song by The Police kept running
through my head as the HOMERS took on the Goats Scouts this week. I was
of course inspired by the last transit of venus until the year 2117 that
was occurring throughout the game. When I realized that the title of that
song is "King of Pain" the whole game started to make more sense to me.
I was in pain from my own lack of skill resulting in me taking a ball to
the face off of a bad bounce during batting practice. Both team managers
were in pain when each team only had 6 players present at the nominal
5:30 start time for the game. The pain continued when we started the game
around 5:45 with both teams fielding only 8 players. While enough players
eventually showed up, the pain continued, at least for the HOMERS, as the
Goat scouts went on to victory.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Goat Scouts 0 3 1 4 11 2 2 23
Homers 1 3 1 0 3 5 3 16
Jeff OF OF C C - C -
Scott 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B OF OF
Don OF OF OF OF OF OF OF
Annette 2B 2B OF OF OF - 2B
Ron P P P P P P P
Andy SS SS SS SS SS SS SS
Joe OF OF OF OF OF OF OF
Mary 3B OF 3B - 2B OF OF
Becky - 3B - 3B 3B 3B 3B
Robb - - OF OF OF 1B 1B
Jessica - C 2B 2B C 2B C
Spectators included: Eric, Rene, Danny, Bella, Sue, and Daniel (actually
he was willing to play but arrived a bit too late to do so).
The HOMERS just seemed to be slightly out of sync all game, both
offensively and defensively.As Scott put it "we were just a half a step
off." There were no HOMERS home runs, so I am not sure there were any
offensive highlights to be recalled. Everyone did get at least one hit.
Defensively we were okay, with the exception of the HOMERS tradition of
giving up one big inning. The Goat Scouts pulled off that inning with
almost entirely ground balls. Again, these grounders just seemed to be
a half step out of our reach.
Dinner was held at Round Table with Jeff, Scott, Ron, Sue, Annette,
Daniel, Eric, Rene, Andy, Mary, Robb, Jessica, Becky, Andres, Danny,
Bella, Sofi, and Rich in attendance. (Although in keeping with full
disclosure, Rich was only there because his B-league team just happened
to be having their post-game dinner there at the same time.)
Next week's game is on Wednesday, June 13 against the Voodoo Toad Fury
on field HS. Do try and show up on time! Let Richard or me know if you
won't be there. Scott has already alerted me that the post game dinner
will NOT be at Round Table next week, so those of you who only show up
for dinner be aware!
From: Andy Kubasak
One batter, one run. That was how the Homers offensive attack began.
A homerun off Ron's bat (the only one of the game for the Homers) sparked
a 5 run first inning to jumpstart our team. Five of the first six batters
scored. The Homers had a second five run inning in the 6th. With two out
and nobody on, Rich began a streak of five consecutive Homers to reach base
and score. And that was enough to hold off the Titans.
The defense for the Homers was anchored by the outfield which accounted
for at least half of the outs in the game. Andy caught four fly balls to
record the first four outs of the game and Joe caught the third out in at
least two or three innings, including a dramatic catch with the tying runs
on in the top of the ninth to clinch the game for the Homers. Richard
would like to forget the fact that he got distracted in the infield,
but he did turn a double play in the middle of the game.
Final Score:
Titans 3 1 2 2 1 1 3 = 13
Homers 5 0 2 0 2 5 - = 14
The score for the Titans is left at 13 for dramatic effect, since I don't
remember how many runs were actually scored in the top of the ninth.
But I do remember we got enough outs to beat them without having to bat
but did give up several runs in the inning.
Ron p p p - p p p
Rich 1b 1b 1b 1b 1b - 1b
Andy of of of of of of of
Annette 3b 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b
Scott c c of of c 1b of
Joe of of of of of of of
Richard ss ss ss ss ss ss ss
Mary of 3b 3b 3b 3b 3b 3b
Becky - of of of of of of
Daniel - - - of of of of
Jessica - - c c - c -
Spectators were Sue, Rene, Eric, Sofi, Danny, Bella... any others I missed?
Dinner at Round Table attended by Scott, Daniel, Annette, Rene, Eric,
Richard, Clement, Jessica, Becky, Sofi, Danny, Bella, (Andres may have
been spotted), Ron & Sue and Andy and Rich (I think).
The next game is tonight Tues June 5 v Goat Scouts on HN
From: Robb Warren
It was a week in which sports fans were reminded of days gone by as the
Los Angeles Kings advanced to the Staley Cup Finals for the first time since
1993. It was also a week in which Homer fans were reminded of days gone by
as the Homers appeared rejuvenated and played like days of yore. Home runs
abounded, the defense was smothering, and the opposing team cowered at the
prowess of the mighty Homers. Mercy rule, then double mercy rule, then
triple mercy, the barrage continued until the game drew to its inevitable
conclusion, a rousing victory and a celebratory trip to Crown City Brewery.
And then I awoke...
As is often the case, reality tells a far different tale than the story
our mind weaves during blissful sleep. The Homers game was no different,
as the non dreamlike Homers fell to the Paper Tigers 25-18. No, homers
did not abound with the only dinger being dinged by Tony (who also had
2 triples). Joe went 4 for 4, but the offense failed to muster the
onslaught of previous years. The defense also fell a bit short of
"smothering", with Richard's play at short being one of the bright spots.
But the Kings are still going to the finals, right?
Paper Tigers 8 1 1 3 9 3 25
Homers 2 5 2 4 5 0 18
Ron P OF OF C P
Andy OF OF OF OF OF
Joe OF OF OF OF OF
Kim C C 2B - 2B
Scott 1B 1B - 1B C
Richard SS SS SS OF SS
Tony 2B 2B P SS OF
Mary OF OF - OF OF
Robb - P 1B P 1B
Annette 3B 3B OF - 3B
Becky - - 3B 3B -
Jessica - - C 2B -
Real life spectators included Andres, Scott S., Sue, Daniel, Eric, Rene,
Danny, Bella, and Clement. Had this game been held during the last time
the Kings went to the Stanley Cup Finals, spectators may have included
Martha Berg, Dwayne Chong, Monica Clark, Raul, Don Jacob, Jesus, Tim Ohm,
Mark Parisi, Beth Varish, and Amy Walsh. Dinner at Round Table (obviously
a poor CCB substitute) was attended by Ron, Sue, Kim, Scott S., Scott M.,
Richard, Robb, Becky, Andres, Bella, Danny, Jessica, Matt, Daniel, Annette,
Eric, and Rene. Jeff was a late attendee after selecting a different sport
for the afternoon. It will be up to Homer management on whether or not he
receives dinner points (wait, he IS Homers management).
The next game is Wednesday against the Titans. Please let Richard or
Jeff (if you can catch him between putts) know if you are unable to attend.
From: Mary Wittman
It's a beautiful thing when the will of the Homers is strong enough
to bring us another successful win. Now let's hope the Kings can do
the same tonight! Due to the time of the evening we only played 4 innings
when the game ended. This write up needs to get out in time to remind
folks we have a game tomorrow night, Weds, 5/23. So I will keep it brief.
Home runs hitters: Joe had 1, Slim had 2, one of which was a Grand Slam.
Way to go Slim!
Team Innings Total
Homers 7 9 5 0 21
Crawdads 0 6 0 1 7
Player Position
Jeff c c . c
Ron p p c .
Slim of ss ss 1b
Kim 2b 2b 2b of
Don of of of .
Tony Ga 1b 1b p .
Tony Gr of of . of
Annette 3b 3b 3b .
Joe . of of c
Richard ss . . ss
Mary of of . 3b
Daniel . . of of
Becky . . of 2b
Next game is on May 23rd, HN v Paper Tigers. If you can't make the game tomorrow night please let Richard or Jeff know. Thank you.
Go Kings Go!
From: Joe Jacob
In a defensive struggle, the Homers fell short against the Wild
Turkeys by a score of 15 to 13. The game started with barely enough
Homers to field a team, while there seemed to be countless blue shirts
of the wild turkeys everywhere you looked. Even a usually reliable
Homers manager was reportedly out playing golf during the game!
The Homers scoresheet is uncharacteristically devoid of any notes of
standout plays offensively or defensively. This reporter vaguely
remembers that Tony Greicius made an impressive sliding catch in left
center field, Richard made a nice throw to home plate for the out, and
Kim threw to first for a much needed out.
Offensively none of the Homers managed any homeruns, but the most
memorable moment for this reporter was my shock at seeing Annette
standing right next to me at 2nd base when I ran there from 1st for
what I thought was a double. Sorry, Annette! Please wear more vibrant
colors next time so I notice you.
Inning: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Homers 0 4 0 2 0 6 1 : 13
Turkeys 0 4 1 5 1 4 - : 15
Defensive Line-up:
Inning 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Ron P P RF P SS P P
Tony Ga SS SS P 1B P 1B SS
Tony Gr CF CF CF CF CF CF CF
Annette 3B 2B RC RC RC RC RC
Joe LF LF LF LF LF LF LF
Richard RF RF SS SS RF SS RF
Kim C RF 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Scott 1B 1B 1B C 1B C 1B
Daniel - - C RF C RF C
Becky - 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B
Spectators on this day included Sue, Eric, Renee, Sofi, Danny, and
Clement. The team dinner was at Round Table, but this reporter doesn't
know who attended because he wasn't there. The next game is Tuesday,
May 15, against the Crawdads on field HS. Please let Jeff or Richard
know if you can't make it.
From: Becky Castano
Although washed out of a physical practice last week, the Homers
appeared to have been doing their visualization exercises during the
rain as Homer bats returned to life against the Bruisers this week.
The offensive effort was led by Tony Greicius with two home runs.
In addition, Richard and Ron both had a home run apiece. Every Homer
got on base at least once and five Homers scored on all of their at-bats.
The Homers mercied the Bruisers in the first inning and were in a double
mercy state beginning in the third inning through the rest of the game.
The Homers averaged nearly five runs an inning, even with the double mercy
in effect much of the game.
Defensively, the Homers were also on. The Bruisers liked to hit fly
balls and the Homers were not letting them drop. Only in the last two
innings did they try another tactic, leading to several runs. The
Tony's were quite effective at short stop. The strong defense resulted
in a very quick seven innings.
The Bruised took it all very well and the game was enjoyed by all.
Bruisers 2 0 1 0 0 3 2 8
Homers 12 4 2 5 5 0 x 28
Jeff c c c c of of
Scott M 1b 1b 1b 1b 1b 1b
Ron p p p p p p
Kim 2b 2b 2b - c c
Don of of of of of of
Richard ss of of ss - -
Tony Ga of ss - - - -
Annette 3b of - 2b 2b 2b
Tony Gr of of ss of ss ss
Mary of - of of of of
Daniel - - of of of of
Becky - 3b 3b 3b 3b 3b
Spectators included: Sue, Scott S., Eric, Rene, Sofi, and Danny
Attending dinner after the game at Round Table were Jeff, Scott M.,
Ron, Sue, Annette, Daniel, Eric, Rene, Kim, Scott S., Becky, Andres,
Sofi, Danny, and Bella.
Next game is Wednesday, May 9 against the Wild Turkeys on the HN field.
As always please let Richard or Jeff know if you won't be there.
Ron says he hit two home runs in this game.
From: Jeff Osman
Play Ball!
It was glorious day for the start of the HOMERS 2012 campaign. Hopefully
this campaign will be a whole lot more enjoyable for all involved than the
ongoing political one. However, it did not get the best of starts.
The opposing team, the LA Radars showed up with only 7 players, all of
them men. The Radars have been in the league long enough to know they
are suppose to have at least 3 women at the game, so right off the bat
the HOMERS win by forfeit! Of course, that is not how the HOMERS like
to win, but we will take it.
Fortunately, the HOMERS turnout was much stronger and we ended up
lending the Radars two HOMERS women (Thanks Jessica and Becky!!!) as
well as a friend of Slim's who was just waiting around for his B-league
game later that evening. This allowed us to at least get a practice game
in to shake off some of the rust that accumulated during the off-season.
Judging by the results there is still more rust to be dealt with.
HOMERS 3 1 1 4 6 15
LA Radars 4 4 6 4 x 18
Jeff c c c - c
Scott M 1b of 1b 1b -
Annette of 3b 3b 3b of
Don of of of - of
Ron p p - of p
Richard of ss ss - ss
Kim 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b
Tony Ga of 1b - p 1b
Slim ss - p ss of
Joe - of of of -
Mary 3b of of of of
Daniel - - of of -
Robb - - - c 3b
Spectators included: Sue, Scott S., Eric, Rene, Sofi, and Bella
Offensive highlights included the first Home Run of the season honors
to Don who decided he didn't want to just hit doubles to the trees all
season long. Instead he hit a massive shot to deep left field in the third
inning for an impressive solo shot. Tony Ganino also made an impressive
return to the HOMERS by going 2 for 3 after spending all of last season
in the Florida minor leagues. Welcome back Tony!
Defensive highlights were a little bit harder to come by, but hey,
its only the first week of the season.
Dinner after the game was a traditional gathering at Round Table.
Participants included: Jeff, Scott M., Ron, Sue, Richard, Slim, Annette,
Daniel, Eric, Rene, Kim, Scott S., Jessica, Robb, Becky, Andres, Sofi,
Danny, and Bella.
Next week the HOMERS officially have a bye, but most of us agreed we
could use a little more practice before our next game. So, the homers will
have a field practice on Monday, April 23 on the grass field (HS) at 5:30.
Those that show up will get another chance to get their game back into
HOMERS fighting shape before the next real game on Monday April 30 against
the Bruisers on HN. As usual please let Richard or Jeff know if you won't
be there on the 30th.
History
After each game, she or he who chooses the dinner location
writes a reasonably factual Homers Report:
2011 |
2010 | 2009 |
2008 | 2007 |
2006 | 2005 |
2004 | 2003 |
2002 | 2001 |
2000 | 1999 |
1998 | 1997 |
1996 | 1995 |
1994 | 1993 |
1992 | 1991
Baalkeisms:
all-time home run statistics,
all-time records,
new records for 2010,
new records for 2008,
new records for 2006,
new records for 2005,
new records for 2004,
new records for 2003,
new records for 2002,
new records for 2001,
recap 2000,
new records for 2000.
A Chenism: games played
Team Song
submitted by Linda Ikami
_------_
/ \ DO RE MI DRINK, by Homer J. Simpson.
| |
| | *ahem* La la la la.... *ahem* LAAAAAAA!!
| __ __)
| / \/ \ DO...... the stuff... that buys me beer
/\/\ (o )o ) RAY..... the guy that sells me beer...
/c \__/ --. ME...... the guy... who drinks the beer
( ) FAR..... a long way to get beer...
\_ _-------' SO...... I'll have another beer...
| / \ LA...... I'll have another beer...
| | '\_______) TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer...
| \_____) That will bring us back to...
|_____ | (Looks into an empty glass)
|_____/\/\
/ \ D'OH!
|  |
Comments? Complaints? Email sent to
richard.chen@jpl.nasa.gov
may get acted upon.
last update:Tuesday, 10-Apr-2018 16:44:12 CDT
