Homers
The Homers, est. 1991, strives to be a pleasant yet competitive team in
JPL's C League Softball.
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the
regular Homers or
anyone
affiliated with the team.
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Schedule
| Apr 18 |
1. Homers 16, L.A. Radars 12 |
| Apr 26 |
2. Pitches Be Crazy 13, Homers 23 |
| May 01 |
3. Bruisers 12, Homers 13 |
| May 08 |
4. Homers 17, Single Swing to Orbit 6 |
| May 24 |
5. Homers 35, Cinco Equis 26 |
| Jun 05 |
6. Eclectic Eccentrics 19, Homers 26 |
| Jun 13 |
7. Titans 23, Homers 11 |
| Jun 21 |
8. Voodoo TOAD Fury 22, Homers 21 |
| Jul 10 |
9. Homers 28, Paper Tigers 12 |
| Jul 17 |
10. Homers 19,
Double Mercy 19 |
| Jul 25 |
11. Crawdads 12, Homers 19 |
| Aug 09 |
12. McKringleberries 5, Homers 13 |
| Aug 15 |
13. Homers 19, Wild Turkeys 12 |
| Aug 23 |
14. Homers 10, Voodoo TOAD Fury 14 |
| Aug 28 |
15. L.A. Radars 15, Homers 19 |
| 
Brian's finger
2017.05.24 |
All games are at
Hahamongna Park's lower level.
Field HN has the backstop and the dirt infield. HS is diagonally opposite.
M. Homer (body)
# * 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 $
1 1 Ron Baalke 2 2 2 2 2 1 1 2 2 2 2 3 2 3 2 1
2 2 Sue Kientz S S S S S S S S S S S S S S
3 3 Chad Galley 9 8 7 7 13 5 4 5 12 8 10 11 11
4 4 Jeff Osman 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 1 1
5 5 Rich Benesh 3 3 S 5 4 3 4 4 2 3 6 7 1
6 6 Richard Chen 4 5 6 S 7 4 3 5 4 5 10 3 1
7 7 Annette Nasif 6 6 5 4 5 11 7 6 9 9 6 1
8 9 Becky Castano 11 10 8 11 10 10 9 11 12 12 12
9 10 Tony Ganino 9 8 6 3 7 5 11 5 7 8 10
10 8 Christina Naify 1 S 8 10 9 2 12 3 7 8 10
11 11 Daniel Limonadi 10 11 10 12 10 11 10 9 13 1
12 12 Tony Greicius 5 3 6 8 6 9 6 11 5
13 14 Brian White 4 4 6 3 8 8 4 9 9
14 13 Jessica Hausman 12 9 12 9 7 8 10 10 1
15 15 Matt Bezkrovny 13 11 10 9 8 6 10
16 16 Danny Castano S S S S S S S
17 19 Laura Napoli 9 4 11 6 3 13
18 17 Sofi Castano S S S S S S
18 17 Bella Castano S S S S S S
20 20 Eric Limonadi 6 S S S S
21 21 Clement Chen S S S S S
22 22 Renee Limonadi S S S S
23 25 Troy Torrez 3 4 3
24 23 Eric Gustafson 4 7 6
25 27 Robb Warren 7 S 10
26 24 Dorothea Chen S S S
26 28 Mary Wittman S S S
28 26 Taylor Ingram 5 9
28 39 Lisa Garcia 9 5
30 29 Scott Morgan 1 1
31 30 Slim Mrozinski 2
32 31 Alex Carr 5
33 32 Mitch Ingham 6
34 33 Ana Morino 7
34 33 Deegan Atha 7
34 33 Charlie Kaczinski 7
34 33 Bryan Bednarski 7
38 37 Yuriy Tsurkan 8
38 37 Natasha Stavros 8
40 40 Ana Rangel 11
41 41 Stephanie Su S
41 41 Kymie Tan S
41 41 Alex Ingham S
41 41 Alex Klein S
#==current ranking,
*==previous ranking,
Out,
Spectator,
Late arrival,
Early exit,
Disabled/dead
Male player, confirmed
Female player, confirmed
male player, presumed
female player, presumed
The algorithm to determine the winner:
number of regular season games attended
if tied, irregular season games attended
if tied, lowest sum of order of appearance at regular season
games
if still tied, order of appearance at irregular games
Order of appearance also pretty much determines: 1) each game's batting
order,
2) the order of sitting out defensively,
and 3) who gets sent over to the other team if they don't
have enough. Note: the payment of team fees counts as an irregular
game.
M. Homer (food)
# * 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
1 1 Ron Baalke + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
2 2 Sue Kientz + + + + + + - + + + + + + + +
3 3 Jeff Osman + + + + + + + + + + + +
4 4 Richard Chen + + - + + + + + + + + -
5 5 Rich Benesh - + + + + + - + + + + -
6 6 Jessica Hausman + + + - + + + +
7 7 Daniel Limonadi + + - + - - + + +
8 8 Annette Nasif + + - + - - + + + - -
9 9 Clement Chen + + + + +
9 9 Eric Limonadi + + + + +
11 11 Matt Bezkrovny + + + + - - +
12 13 Chad Galley - + - + - - - + - - - + +
13 12 Renee Limonadi + + + +
14 19 Robb Warren + + +
15 14 Danny Castano + - - - + +
15 14 Bella Castano + - - - + +
17 16 Sofi Castano + - - - - + +
18 17 Christina Naify - + + - - + - - - -
19 17 Becky Castano + - - - - - + + - - -
20 20 Dorothea Chen - + +
21 24 Laura Napoli - - - - + +
22 25 Brian White - - - - - + - +
23 21 Alex Klein +
23 21 Scott Morgan +
23 21 Charlie Kaczinski +
26 26 Tony Greicius - - - - - + - - -
27 27 Bryan Bednarski -
27 27 Alexander Ingham -
27 27 Natasha Stavros -
27 27 Mitch Ingham -
27 27 Stephanie Su -
27 27 Yuriy Tsurkan -
27 27 Slim Mrozinski -
27 27 Deegan Atha -
27 27 Ana Morino -
27 27 Kymie Tan -
27 27 Ana Rangel -
27 27 Alex Carr -
39 27 Lisa Garcia - -
39 40 Taylor Ingram - -
41 40 Mary Wittman - - -
41 40 Troy Torrez - - -
41 43 Eric Gustafson - - -
44 44 Tony Ganino - - - - - - - - - -
# current ranking
* previous ranking
+ attended dinner
- skipped dinner
M. Homer (soul)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 sum
Richard Chen 1 1 1 1 1 1 6
Tony Greicius 1 1 1 1 4
Ron Baalke 1 1 1 1 4
Tony Ganino 1 3 4
Daniel Limonadi 3 3
Chad Galley 1 1 1 3
Matt Bezkrovny 1 1 2
Troy Torrez 2 2
Mitch Ingham 1 1
Eric Gustafson 1 1
Bryan Bednarski 1 1
From: Brian White
The end is here. The grand finale. Going out in a blaze of glory.
Not Cassini. The Homers season has come to an end. With Cassini, we
discovered an exciting amount of new moons during its mission. With
the homers, we discovered quite a few new players due to injuries,
illness, and vacations. The Homers had 41 players and spectators this
season. We played our final game as Cassini played out its mission.
We started out strong and exciting with a spectacular first inning where
we mercy'd them. Every Homer had a hit in that outing with Ron and Troy
both hitting homers. We cruised for a few innings with some spectacular
plays by Annette and Becky. Then we started our grand finale. We Homers
always like to make the final inning interesting, and this was no different.
As we attempted to crash and burn, by letting them score five runs on us,
we pulled up at the last second to pull out the victory, 19-15.
Ron, Sue, Jeff, Chad, Robb, Brian, and Laura all attended the team party
at rounds where participation trophies were not handed out.
Ron earned the Iron Horse award with perfect attendance this season.
Richard walked away with the Homer Homer title but Limonadi and Tony GA
both had three homer games.
Our final record was 11-3-1.
How I found time to write this with Cassini saying farewell tonight...
I do not know...
L.A. Radars 5 0 1 0 3 1 5 15
Homers 15 0 0 3 1 0 x 19
Jeff - - - - - - -
Ron P P P P P P P
Richard RF RF RF RF - RF RF
Lisa 2B - RC RC 2B RC -
Troy LC LC LC LC LC LC LC
Rich C C 1B 1B 1B C -
Tony Ga SS SS SS SS SS SS SS
Annette RC RC 3B - RC 3B RC
Brian LF LF LF LF LF LF LF
Chad 1B 1B C C - 1B 1B
Becky 3B 3B - 3B 3B - 3B
Laura - 2B 2B 2B RF 2B 2B
Robb - - - - C - C
From: Scott Morgan
The world was in a state of confusion:
- the solar eclipse had darkened the skies
- the Dodgers lost a game
- the second Homer-TOAD game of the year was not in the final week of
the C League season
- the HOMERs had 3 lefties in their 10 player lineup
However some things do remain consistent over time:
- the TOADS weren't ready to start the game on time
- the game was close
- the HOMERs went to dinner after the game
The final score was 14-10, with the TOADs coming out on top.
Special welcome to HOMER first-timers Ana and Bryan, who both notched
RBIs in their first at bat - with Bryan's coming on a home run.
Richard went 3 for 3.
Defensive highlights included Becky and Ron snaring line drives, and
Ana and Bryan pairing for a 4-6 putout at second base.
Homers 1 6 0 2 1 0 0 10
Voodoo TOAD Fury 1 1 3 6 2 1 x 14
Jeff C C C C C C
Ron P P P P P P
Troy LF LF LF LF LF LF
Ana 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Tony Gr LC - - - - -
Rich 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B
Bryan RC SS SS SS SS SS
Annette RF RF RF RF RF RF
Richard SS RC RC RC RC RC
Chad - LC LC LC LC LC
Becky 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B
Spectators: Sue, Dora (the screamer, not the explorer), Alex, Clement,
Robb, Mary, Scott
Dinner at Rounds was attended by: Rich, Sue, Ron, Chad, Jeff, Robb,
and Scott. And arriving ever so fashionably late were Richard, Clement,
Alex, and Dora.
It was good seeing everyone.
The next game is Monday August 28 (yes - that might be today for many of
you) against the LA Radars on the South (grass) field. Be sure to let
our dynamic management duo (Jeff and Richard) know if you won't be able
to make it to the game. This is the last game of the season.
From: Christina Naify
Well, better late than never right?
I realize you all are playing right now, so hopefully that means I got
this in under the wire.
The downside of waiting until the last minute, besides being late, is
that I don't remember a lot of the details of the game. What was
unforgettable however, was the defense by Tony Ganino, making outs left
and right. Ganino also hit 3 home runs, the only ones of the game. We
also had a mercy out situation in the 5th inning.
We had a few late show-ups due to the lecture on-lab but ended with
a full roster and a few spares.
I had to postpone my dinner choice but I believe the location was Round Table.
Players (in order): Jeff, Ron, Sue, Rich, Brian, Richard, Eric G., Tony Ga., Christina, Annette, Chad, Tony Gr., Daniel, (a few names hard to read) Becky
Final Score:
Homers - 19
Wild Turkeys - 10
Next game is Monday, Aug 28 vs. LA Radars on HS.
Good luck today!
Homers 1 4 6 0 2 5 1 19
Wild Turkeys 1 2 0 0 4 3 2 12
Jeff/Daniel C - C C C C C
Ron P P P P - P P
Rich 1B 1B 1B - 1B 1B 1B
Christina 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Brian LF C - LF LC LC -
Richard RF - - RF RF - RF
Eric CF RC RC LC - RC LC
Annette 3B RF RF RC RC RF RC
Tony Ga SS SS SS - P SS SS
Chad - LF LF 1B LF - LF
Tony Gr - LC LC SS SS LF -
Becky - 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B
Ron: Tony had 3 home runs and I hit a home run in the 1st inning.
From: Annette Nasif
Back to school time! While many of us have been busy buying school supplies,
going to orientations, and hitting those back to school sales, it was with
pleasure that our seasoned Homers schooled the young McKringleberries on the
art of softball. Did we need theme music for each player at bat? Nope.
We still had several great hits, including Tony Ganino's home run in the
4th inning to earn the mercy and Tony and Daniel both going 3-for-3.
Did the Homers need matching team shirts? Nope, we still worked as a
cohesive team fielding the ball efficiently and limiting their runs to 0,
1 or 2 in each inning. Did old age slow us down? Didn't look that way
with the acrobatic catches made by Richard and Daniel. So yes, I would
say we taught those young McKringleberries a thing or two about playing
softball with our dominate 5 to 13 win.
McKringleberries 1 2 0 0 1 1 0 5
Homers 3 3 5 2 0 0 x 13
Jeff C C C C C C C
Rich 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B
Ron P P P P P P P
Annette 3B RC RC - 3B RC RC
Richard LC LC LC LC LC LC LC
Tony SS SS SS SS SS SS SS
Chad LF LF LF LF LF LF LF
Christina 2B 2B - RC 2B 2B -
Jessica RC - 2B 2B 2B - 2B
Becky - 3B 3B 3B - 3B 3B
Cheer Section: Sue, Clement, Dorothea, Eric, Renee, Danny, Bella, Sofi
Dinner was at Round Table with Ron, Sue, Rich, Richard, Clement, Dorothea,
Jeff, Jessica, Annette, Daniel, Renee, Eric, Becky, Danny, Bella, and
Sofi.
Next week's game is Tuesday 8/15 against Wild Turkeys on HS.
As usual, let Richard and Jeff know if you can't make it.
From: Tony Greicius
After over three weeks of no softball, Tony returned from Japan to play with
the mighty Homers. Although after a lot of meditation and battling against
giant roaches, millipedes and spiders, he was unable to hit any home runs.
He called on to his team mates to help out and sure enough after being down
one run in the fifth inning, Eric stepped up and got the first home run to
get us back in the game. Shortly after that celebration, Richard crushed
a Grand Slam to take a commanding lead against the claw clicking
Crawdads.
Defense was also great with Tony Ga making several spectacular plays at
shortstop. Ron spoke a few Japanese words to Tony to make him feel at
home, and did a great job on the mound.
Special thanks to Lisa and Natasha for subbing so that we would have enough
girls. And it was great to have Eric back on the field with us.
Final score was - Tokyo Homers 19 - Seaweed Crawdads 12.
Dinner was at Rounds: Matt, Rich, Jeff, Ron, Sue, Richard
Crawdads 1 2 1 1 6 1 12
Homers 0 10 0 0 9 x 19
Jeff C C - C - -
Ron P P P P P P
Rich 1B 1B 1B 1B - 1B
Christina 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Richard SS RF C LC C C
Tony Gr LC LC LC - LC LC
Eric RC RC RC - RC RC
Natasha LF LF LF LF LF LF
Matt RF - RF RF RF -
Tony Ga - SS SS SS SS SS
Chad - - - RC 1B RF
Lisa 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B
From: Ron Baalke
The site of the 2024 Olympics was on the line. If the Homers win, then
it will be in Los Angeles. If they lose, then in Paris. The game
ended in a tie. Oh well.
Both teams only showed up with 2 women each, so it was agreed to play
the game with no penalty, and no more than 3 men in a row batted.
Richard was a last-second no-show.
Homers 8 3 4 0 3 1 19
Double Mercy 5 4 0 1 1 8 19
The HOMERS took an early lead, which they relinquished in the last
inning by giving up 8 runs, and the game ended up in a rare tie.
Defense: Matt made his pitching debut. Annette made a great catch in the
outfield. The One Who Shall Not Be Named dropped a few fly balls in
right field. Chad made a good running catch on a short fly.
Offense: Ron, Chad, Matt and Daniel all had 4 hits apiece. Matt had the only
home run, and also added a triple. Ron & Chad also hit triples.
Defensive line-up
Jeff C C C C C C
Ron SS SS P P P P
Rich 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B
Laura 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Chad OF OF OF OF OF OF
Matt P P SS SS SS SS
Brian OF OF OF OF OF OF
Annette OF OF OF OF OF OF
Daniel OF OF OF OF OF OF
Becky 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B
Sideline Participants: Sue, Eric, Rene, Danny, Bella, Sofi
Injured Reserve: Robb, Mary, Andy
Missing in Action: Joe, Don Calkins
Dinner was at Anthenaeum with Ron, Sue, Jeff, Brian, Laura,
Limondi family, Castano family.
Next week's game is Tuesday, 7/25 at HN (dirt) against the Crawdads.
As usual, let Richard or Jeff know if you can't make it.
From: Sue Kientz
BREAKING NEWS: HOMERS OFFICIALS COLLUDED WITH TOP TOAD TO WIN SOFTBALL
GAME
Yes, it's true. The All-American HOMERS team, who have proudly crowed
"WE BEAT THE TOADS!" numerous times over the years - NUMEROUS - have
been caught red-handed. The alleged contact began with what seemed
like an innocent email:
"Charlie, we need players this Monday. Can you help us
out?"
- Sender: RICHARD CHEN But this email wasn't so innocent, as it was
directed to the HEAD of the Voodoo Toad Fury, Charlie Kaczinski!
This shocking move was fully revealed Monday when the HOMERS met up with
their opponents the Paper Tigers, and Kaczinski was there, not only
playing first base and catcher for the HOMERS, but even wearing his 20th
anniversary TOAD T-shirt. Disgraceful!!
Certainly the HOMERS needed bodies for this game. Only two women players
were expected, but luckily the Paper Tigers were also lacking full female
support, so rules were changed to allow a full field to play for each
team nevertheless.
The HOMERS and this "illegal" lineup managed to crush the Paper Tigers,
mercying and double-mercying them by the middle innings. Richard and Mitch
swatted homeruns in the 4th and 5th respectively, and everyone got on base
and scored at some point. (Ron immediately was planning Mitch's entry on
the HOMER's All-time Homerun List.) Defensively the HOMERS played a good
game, but the play to remember was in the bottom of the 7th, with Richard
at short catching a line drive for out 2, then firing a laser-shot to Ron
at 1st that caught the runner off base.
WE BEAT THEM WITH THE TOAD!
Homers 1 9 3 7 1 2 5 28
Paper Tigers 1 2 3 0 2 2 2 12
Jeff C C C OF OF OF OF
Ron P P P SS SS SS 1B
Richard RF RF RF C C 1B SS
Chad LF LF LF LF LF LF LF
Taylor 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B
Tony Ga SS SS SS P P P P
Mitch CF LC LC LC LC LC LC
Charlie IB IB IB 1B 1B C C
Matt 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Becky - RC RC RC RC RC RC
Spectators were Sue, Sophie, Danny, Bella, Kymie and Alex Ingham.
I know there are some who won't believe this account of HOMER-TOAD collusion. They will just think "FAKE NEWS!" and go on with their lives. But this reporter has INCONTROVERTIBLE PROOF! While Richard Chen would have you believe that ROUNDS is no longer open, that's only so no one will catch the HOMER leaders, breaking burgers and beer with Charlie, at the after-dinner. This photo taken by another patron, shows Jeff, Ron, Richard, Sue, and Charlie "I might bring my megaphone to the next game" Kaczinski:
Next game is Monday July 17 against Double Mercy at the south field. Let Jeff AND Richard know if you can't make it.
From: Jeff Osman
It seemed only appropriate that on the longest day of the year, the longest
running grudge match in JPL C-League softball should be renewed one more
time. Yes, once again it was the HOMERS versus the Toads.
This year, however, there was a different feeling in the air, a feeling of
uncertainty: uncertainty about the status of the C-League Special Counsel
looking into the allegations of collusion, hacking, and obstruction of
justice. The lame stream media may be distracted by other scandals going
on in the country, but the cognoscenti know the real scandal is in the JPL
C-league. Did the Toads really hack into the HOMERS vaunted private email
list? Did Toads management collude with some unknown foreign power to
steal the HOMERS strategy for defeating the Toads once again? Are the
Toads obstructing a JPL Softball Program investigation into the charges?
HOMERS management is looking for answers, but the JPL Softball Program
Manager, Scott Morgan, has apparently recused himself from the entire
matter, not to mention the entire HOMERS season so far. With no answers
forthcoming the only thing left to do was play the game.
Toads 5 12 2 0 0 1 2 22
Homers 4 0 3 1 7 5 1 21
Jeff ---field manager---
Ron P P SS SS SS SS SS
Rich C C 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B
Laura RF RF - RF RF C RF
Richard SS SS RC RC RC RC RC
Tony Ga 1B 1B P P P P P
Alex 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B C
Ana LF LF LF LF LF LF 3B
Brian RC RC C C C - LF
Tony Gr LC LC LC LC LC LC LC
Jessica 2B - RF 2B - RF -
Christina - 2B - - 2B 2B 2B
Spectators included Sue and Mary. Shout outs go to Ana and Alex for
making their HOMERS debut and filling in for missing HOMERS, and Brian
for his return from the DL.
The HOMERS were down early, and eventually by the double mercy rule, but
staged a valiant comeback, only to fall short in the bottom of the 7th.
Offensive highlights included homer runs by Ron and Tony Gr [and Richard].
Other HOMERS were making solid contact, especially Christina who had a
key hit to keep the 7th inning going. Defensive highlights are harder to
remember, but I do recall a great stop by Jessica at 2nd with a toss to
Ron covering the base for an out.
The HOMERS went to Round Table to rehash the loss. That is except for
Richard, who had to be convinced at dinner that the HOMERS had not in
fact tied the game but had indeed lost. Joining in the dinner festivities
were Ron, Sue, Jeff, Richard, Tony Gr, Jessica, and Rich.
It is at this point in a typical HOMERS report that we remind you of the
next game. Unfortunately we don't yet know when that will be. We do know
that we have a BYE next week, and no games are scheduled for the short
4th of July week. We will get you more information on the next game once
more of the C-League schedule is released. In the meantime think of it
as the All-Star break, without an All-Star game.
From: Jessica Hausman
Soooooooo, there was a game. There was no Richard, Jeff or kids so things
already were odd. The score sheet was way too fancy that none of us
understood it except for the Tonys. Homers started off strong, scoring
5 runs compared to Titans' 2. Then we might have made very accurate hits
to one of their best fielders where we didn't score anything for 2 innings.
Things were looking up by the 4th and 5th. We could have called it a game,
but no we had to play another inning. We got mercied by Titans' 13 runs
and our 1. Tony Gr did get a home run in the 4th inning. Spectators were
Sue for a bit. Since a bunch of the typical dinner crowd were missing we
did something new and went to Min's, which was attended by Matt,
Christina, Ron and Jessica.
inning 1 2 3 4 5 6 x
Ron Remember How I Said the Score sheet Is really Fancy
Tony Ga Positions Were Played But I Don't know what
Eric
Christina
Chad
Tony Ga
Degan
Jessica
Matt
Becky
Daniel
Annette
Homers 5 0 0 3 2 1 11
Titans 2 1 3 2 2 13 23
Next game is today against the Toads on this solstice at the south field.
If you can't make it's too late you better show up.
From: Rich Benesh
2017 has been a tough year for the Homers. A rash of injuries have
sidelined many Homers stalwarts, and even the replacements have fallen
to the injury bug. On this particular night, Homers management must have
heard there was a fresh outbreak of Mythical Rooster Disease, as both
Jeff and Richard were nowhere to be found at game time (of course, they
had feeble excuses!).
The Homers started this game with exactly 10 players: Christina,
Jessica, Sue, Ron, Daniel, the injured Tony twins, an import from the
Homers Michigan club, a volunteer Shark, and an aging first baseman, who
also doubled as manager. In what proved to be a tight game, the
dwindling Homers (10, then 9, then 8), managed to eke out a win, with
the offense roaring to life in the bottom of the 4th inning to put the
game away once both Slim and Tony Gr. had departed.
Ecclectics 2 3 7 5 2 - 19
Homers 5 2 8 10 x - 26
Ron ss ss p ss ss
Slim 3b 3b ss -- --
Troy of of of of of
Annette of of 3b 3b 3b
Rich 1b 1b c 1b 1b
Tony Ga p p 1b p p
Tony Gr of of -- -- --
Jessica 2b 2b 2b 2b 2b
Daniel c c of of of
Christina of of of of of
Ecclectics -- -- -- c c (White Shoes Johnson)
Spectator/invaluable manager's assistant: Sue (while sitting 3 feet
from 3rd base!)
Offensively, Ron, Troy, Rich, and Tony Ga. all went 5-for-5, while
Daniel was 4-for-4. There were no homeruns, but the Homers mashed a
dozen doubles and triples during the contest. Defensively, Slim tried
to get a doubleplay at 2nd, but almost skulled a surprised Jessica, Troy
Torres made a fine catch in center, Slim nailed an opposing baserunner
who overran third, and Daniel caught a rocket in left due to his perfect
positioning. Otherwise, Slim did an excellent Richard Chen imitation
wildly missing both first and home on numerous throws, while Annette
declined to imitate Richard when playing third base and just returned
the ball to the pitcher on 3 occasions.
The Homers would like to thank Troy and Slim for helping us field a team.
Outdoor dining at Rounds: Ron, Sue, Jessica, and Rich
The next game is Tuesday, June 13th at HN (the real softball field).
Let Jeff AND Richard know if you can't make it, as the Homers are known
to be shorthanded due to B league conflicts.
From: Daniel Limonadi
Is it time for Blade Runner 2049 yet? Nope, we are stuck waiting for
October to see that movie. In the meantime, we have softball!
Do Homers dream of electric sheep? No, no we don't. However, similar to the
hero of the famous story by Philip K. Dick, after a mighty struggle we did
manage to retire our opponents. And in an eerie similarity to the movie
adaptation, a hero got his fingers busted by one of the bad guys ... though in
this case it was a ball and not a conscious android who just wanted to live
a little longer but is taken out by the mean humans ...
It was definitely an offensive slug fest - the Homers opened with a stunning
14 runs in the first, mostly done on solid singles and doubles. Other
highlights include a grand slam by Ron in the 4th, and homers by Richard
and Tony Gr. Ron, Richard, Tony Ga, Daniel, and Chad also managed to get
on base for each at-bat.
Cinco Equis kept it close in the 3rd and 4th but the Homers defense kicked
in again in the 5th and helped secure the victory. Defensive highlights
included Brian sacrificing his finger to make a catch in left during the
first (hopefully just dislocated? Haven't heard the details yet), Jessica
making a nice force out at 2nd base, A Tony Ga to Rich combo to get a runner
out at home, and a classic running over-the-shoulder-with-arm-twist catch
by Tony Gr.
Homers 14 1 1 9 10 35
Cinco Equis 3 3 7 10 3 26
Jeff - - C - C
Ron P P P P P
Brian LF --injured--
Annette 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B
Rich 1B C - C 1B
Tony Gr LC LC LC LC -
Richard RF RF SS RF LC
Jessica 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Tony Ga SS SS LF SS SS
Daniel - LF RC LF RC
Chad - 1B 1B 1B LF
Christina RC RC RF RC RF
Laura C -ambulance-
Thanks to Laura showing up for the game and for taking care of Brian.
Spectators included Sue, Clement, Eric, and Renee. Dinner was at Round
Table and was attended by Jeff, Richard, Clement, Ron, Sue, and the
Limonadi clan of Annette, Daniel, Eric, and Renee.
This week we have a bye week. The next game is Monday 6/5 at HS against
the Eclectic Eccentrics. Please Richard and Jeff them know early if you
can't make it.
From: Matt Bezkrovny
They asked, where's the report? Where is it? Why hasn't it been delivered
yet? I want my money back!! ------- Well here it is. I know I know, one
week late. Just enough time though, to recover from such an IMMENSE Homers
victory, before reading this crap.
A tale of near Biblical proportions... they took a single swing, just one,
and shot the opponents into orbit. I think they may still be up there
(anyone think we can get some DSN time to check?)...
Every HOMER was on their absolute A-game. Even the game ball couldn't deal
with the level of dedication that the Homers exuded when they decided to
try a soccer-style header on it - the HOMERS are just that good, that pro,
that awesome. I think the ball was still pissed at the end of the game.
It's that kind of enthusiasm that creates legends.
The HOMERS had two killer innings (1 and 2) before they had to purposely
slow down so as to not punt their opponents into another galaxy. HOMERS
had two homers by Chad in the 1st inning and Matt in the 5th. Defensively,
the HOMERS had two brick walls - Tony Ganino was not permitting any of the
left fielders to get any ground balls and Taylor was the bouncer at Club
3rd Base while the opponents tried to rush the dance floor - albeit
unsuccessfully. Chad played another mean game at 1st, doing some serious
work innings 1 and 2. And the outfield didn't let anything major get by.
Good stuff!
Homers 7 6 1 1 2 0 0 17
SStO 0 0 0 2 1 3 0 6
Jeff - - - - - - OF
Ron P P P P P P P
Tony Gr OF OF OF OF OF OF -
Laura OF OF - C OF OF OF
Brian OF OF OF OF OF OF OF
Chad 1B 1B OF OF OF OF OF
Tony Ga SS SS SS SS SS SS SS
Taylor 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B - -
Matt OF OF 1B 1B 1B 1B 1B
Christina 2B - 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Becky - 2B OF OF - 3B 3B
Jessica C C C - C C C
Spectators: Come on guys, it was a week, and this paper doesn't actually
say. I tried.
After-game Dinner: Rounds again, but it was great nevertheless. Attendance
by Jeff, Ron, Sue, Christina, Matt, Jessica, Chad, and I may have forgot
some... once again, it's been a week and my memory is only so/so!
All in all, the HOMERS gave the new guys a run for their money. Perhaps
now, with some proprietary knowledge about whether to run the bases
clockwise or counterclockwise, they can begin their training to face the
HOMERS again. We'll be ready for them.
Next game is Wednesday 5/24 on HN vs. Cinco Equis (5 X's?). See ya'll
there.
Onto the next one.
From: Jeff Osman
It was a familiar scene as the two opposing sides girded themselves for
another skirmish in the ideological battle that has separated them for
decades. Both sides convinced of the rightness of their positions.
Neither side was looking for compromise.
It was a scenario we had seen before. Only this time, it wasn't a government
shutdown that was at stake, it was the threat of a C-league shutdown, or at
least showdown. Yes, the HOMERS and the Bruisers renewed their friendly
rivalry, only this time Homer/Bruiser Scott wasn't there to make sure
everyone played nice together.
Fortunately, the good guys (HOMERS) prevailed once again.
Bruisers 0 3 0 1 6 0 2 12
Homers 0 6 0 7 0 0 x 13
Jeff 1B C C C C C C
Ron P P P P P P P
Brian LF LF LF LF LF LF LF
Annette CF RF RF RF 3B RF RF
Richard SS SS SS SS SS - -
Chad RF LC LC LC CF 1B 1B
Daniel C RC RC RC RF CF CF
Becky 3B 3B 3B 3B - 3B 3B
Matt - 1B 1B 1B 1B SS SS
Jessica 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Spectators: Christina (additionally scorekeeper, Thanks!), Sue, Sofi,
Bella, Danny
Offensively, the HOMERS relied on two big innings, the 2nd and 4th.
The 4th included back-to-back home runs by Richard and Chad.
The interesting part of the game was the defense. There were 2 messed up
infield fly rule calls, one on each side. Each missed call, coincidentally,
resulted in the opposing managers, the ones who should have known better,
being tagged out on the plays. The other defensive highlight was Chad
taking over at 1B for the last 2 innings, and then proceeding to make
5 of the last 6 outs. Jessica was also a defensive star for sacrificing
her body by staying with a ground ball off her leg and still making the
throw to 1B in time to get the runner. Matt also made his debut at the
short-stop position after Richard abandoned the HOMERS for some other
team of his.
After game dinner was held at Rounds and attended by: Jeff, Ron, Sue,
Christina, Matt, and Jessica.
The next HOMERS game will be on Monday, May 8 on the dirt field. The
opponent will be the other new team to the league, Single Swing to Orbit.
We already know we will be missing several regular HOMERS players, so
make sure you let Jeff AND Richard know if you aren't going to make it.
From: Richard Chen
Having lost 12 million subscribers since their peak in 2010, ESPN yesterday
announced layoffs of over 100 employees
as well as the outright termination of others.
ESPN president John Skipper: "We're
sorry to lose talent like Jayson Stark and Ed Werder. We're not sorry
to lose the Homers. We fired them because they have noticeably slipped the
last few years, they're stuck in 20th century thinking, and in fact our
current struggles can arguably be traced to their arrival."
The Homers responded without directly addressing Skipper's criticism:
Homers
@homersCLeagueTeam
Thank you ESPN for 6 wonderful years. We were brought in to make ESPN great again, and we succeeded. Looking forward to moving on to the EPA
Pitches Be Crazy 3 3 2 1 0 3 1 13
Homers 0 5 2 9 3 4 x 23
Jeff C C - - - - -
Ron P P P P P P P
Annette LC LC LC LC LC LC 3B
Rich 1B 1B 1B 1B C 1B 1B
Brian LF LF LF LF LF LF LF
Richard SS SS SS SS SS SS SS
Laura 2B 2B 2B 2B - C 2B
Chad RC RF RF RF RF - RF
Eric/Daniel RF RC RC RC RC RC C
Matt - - - - 1B RF RC
Becky 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B 3B -
Jessica - - C C 2B 2B 2B
The Homers played one of the two new teams for 2017, Pitches Be Crazy.
Perhaps overconfident, the Homers trailed through the first half of
the game before batting around in the 4th to take the lead for good
and later put the mercy rule on. Richard, Chad, and Daniel started the
Homer scoring in the second with solo home runs, all hard line drives
that rattled through the outfielders. Then, holy moly, Daniel crushed two
two-run homers over everyone to put the kids firmly in their place. Daniel
also doubled to go 4-for-4 on the day, while Ron went 5-for-5 and was
responsible for perhalf half the outs on defense. Eric started the game
in place of his belated father, whose arrival delta was outdone by Jessica
and Matt in their 2017 debuts. Brian's friend Laura subbed nicely.
Next week's game is Monday, May 1, on the dirt field against our perpetual
kid siblings the Bruisers. We must keep those guys in their place, too.
Richard and Rich are leaving early to go to a B League game. Other regulars,
please inform Jeff and/or Richard as soon as possible (at least a day to
stay off our p00p list) if you can't make it.
From: Robb Warren
Welcome to the first edition of a series of HOMERS Reports documenting
the 2017 season.
Please review the following statements and assess each as (1) Completely
True, (2) An Alternative Fact, or (3) Completely false. "Suggested"
answers provided below.
- Homer attendance at the 2017 inaugural game far exceeded attendance
at any inaugural game in Homers history, plain and simple.
- Many Homer regulars are clearly in the best shape of their adult
lives.
- The Homer defense turned multiple double plays during the game.
- The Homer offense managed at least one run in every inning.
- Although the Homers gave up 7 runs in the last inning, this was
primarily due to the Radars busing in ringers from across state lines
during their last at bat.
- All Homers Regulars should let Richard or Jeff know if they are
unable to attend any game.
Now for some real facts.
A small but enthusiastic group of Homers rolled to an early lead resulting
in the mercy rule by the 4th inning, and went on to a 16-12 victory on
opening night. The defense played pretty solid for it's first time on the
field in a number of months, led by two double plays. The first by virtue
of a snag of a line drive by Ron, and the ensuing throw to Rich at first.
Also a Rich to Richard double play which was tantalizingly close to be a
triple play. Although offensively no one had a perfect night, Ron, Rich,
Annette, Yurij, Daniel, and Richard each collected 3 hits. Also, Tony Gr.
provided his usual offensive highlight of the game with the first Homers
home run of the year.
A welcome and special thanks to first time Homers Yurij and Chad.
Without their attendance the Homers would undoubtedly have been short handed.
Homers 2 3 2 3 2 3 1 16
L.A. Radars 0 0 0 0 2 3 7 12
Christina 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B
Ron P P P P P P P
Rich 1B 1B 1B 1B C LF 1B
Tony Gr LC LC LC LC SS - -
Annette 3B 3B 3B RF RC 3B 3B
Yuriy C C C RC 3B C LF
Chad RC RC RC C 1B RC RF
Daniel LF LF LF LF LC LC C
Becky RF RF RF 3B LF RF RC
Richard SS SS SS SS RF SS LC
Robb --field mgr-- 1B SS
Spectators included Clement, Dorothea, Stephanie (albeit briefly), Sue,
Sophie, and Bella. Dinner at Round Table was attended by Ron, Sue, Richard,
Clement, Daniel, Annette, Becky, Sophie, Bella, and Robb.
Answers: (1) Alternative fact. (2) Seriously?? This one has to be
completely false. (3) True (4) True (5) Alternative fact, although a
case could be made for Fake News. (6) False. This should read "...
Richard AND Jeff".
The next game is on HS (grass field) on Wed, 4/26 against a new JPL C League
team, Pitches be Crazy. And here it is officially for the first time this
year... please let Richard and Jeff know in advance if you are unable
to attend.
History
After each game, she or he who chooses the dinner location
writes a reasonably factual Homers Report:
2016 | 2015 |
2014 | 2013 |
2012 | 2011 |
2010 | 2009 |
2008 | 2007 |
2006 | 2005 |
2004 | 2003 |
2002 | 2001 |
2000 | 1999 |
1998 | 1997 |
1996 | 1995 |
1994 | 1993 |
1992 | 1991
who played when
| who hit what
Team Song
submitted by Linda Ikami
_------_
/ \ DO RE MI DRINK, by Homer J. Simpson.
| |
| | *ahem* La la la la.... *ahem* LAAAAAAA!!
| __ __)
| / \/ \ DO...... the stuff... that buys me beer
/\/\ (o )o ) RAY..... the guy that sells me beer...
/c \__/ --. ME...... the guy... who drinks the beer
( ) FAR..... a long way to get beer...
\_ _-------' SO...... I'll have another beer...
| / \ LA...... I'll have another beer...
| | '\_______) TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer...
| \_____) That will bring us back to...
|_____ | (Looks into an empty glass)
|_____/\/\
/ \ D'OH!
|  |
Comments? Complaints? Email sent to
richard.chen@jpl.nasa.gov
may get acted upon.
last update:Tuesday, 10-Apr-2018 16:44:05 CDT
